Returning the Stinky House to the Ex-Wife

Best divorce settle-meant

Messy divorce? Quick - give her back the house

Where to hide the not-so-valuable house possessions


After 25 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for his young secretary.

His new girlfriend demanded that she wanted to live in the couple’s multi-million dollar home, and since the man’s lawyers were a little better, he prevailed.

He gave his now ex-wife 3 days to move out. She spent the 1st day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the 2nd day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the 3rd day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything - cleaning & mopping and hiring a cleaning service to clean the place out; vents were checked for dead rodents; carpets were steam cleaned; air fresheners were hung everywhere; and exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters. They even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.

They could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth - but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home...
... including the curtain rods.


see also   Divorce  &  Legal  Sections
All Divorces Start With Marriage
Ancient Greek Law
Arkansas Divorce Application
Babcock Divorce
Better Lawyer
Cheating Husband
Communication Divorce
Distasteful Lawyer
Divorce Cakes
Divorce Defined
Divorce Is Grand
Divorce Lawyers
Divorce Yard Sale
Expired Marriage
Generous Judge’s Divorce Settlement
Good Lawyer
Honest Lawyer
In Three Pictures
Just Divorced
Justice Is Blind
Keyboard Wedding
Legal Assistance For All
Legal Exhibit
My Ex-Wife, The Pilot
Polish Divorce
Redneck Divorce
Religious-Based Divorce
Texas Divorce
The Origin of the White Wedding Dress
Understanding Women
Wedding Cake for the Submissive Husband
Wedding Dress For Sale

 

Leg Art

Strange Old Vehicles

Designer Lamp

Scottish Road Sign

Too Late Now

How Paper Beats Rock

Joburg Police

Behind Curtain Number One

One More Drop

Changing Priorities

Made His Bed

Dog Sled

Only In Canada - Nosey Moose

Camper Tank

Plane Pushers

Wise Electricity Use

Critter Control

Redneck Ice Fishing

Skeletons In The Closet

Captive Audience Twins
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

23-Oct-2019