After 25 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for his young secretary.
His new girlfriend demanded that she wanted to live in the couple’s multi-million dollar home, and since the man’s lawyers were a little better, he prevailed.
He gave his now ex-wife 3 days to move out. She spent the 1st day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the 2nd day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the 3rd day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything - cleaning & mopping and hiring a cleaning service to clean the place out; vents were checked for dead rodents; carpets were steam cleaned; air fresheners were hung everywhere; and exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters. They even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.
They could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth - but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home...
... including the curtain rods.
Divorce & Legal Sections
All Divorces Start With Marriage
Ancient Greek Law
Arkansas Divorce Application
Divorce Is Grand
Divorce Yard Sale
Generous Judge’s Divorce Settlement
In Three Pictures
Justice Is Blind
Legal Assistance For All
My Ex-Wife, The Pilot
The Origin of the White Wedding Dress
Wedding Cake for the Submissive Husband
Wedding Dress For Sale
Walkway To Heaven
Groucho Marx and Jimmy Savile
Lazy People Make Excellent Engineers
Under The Weather
My Sweet Potato
Who Needs a Guard Dog?
My Next Life
Redneck Camera Phone
Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles
Mary Go Round