Mexican Jews
Searching for kosher food in Mexico

Barry and Joe were sitting in a Mexican restaurant.

“Barry,” asked Joe, “are there any Jews in Mexico?”

“I don’t know,” Barry replied. “Why don’t we ask the waiter?”

When the waiter came by, Joe asked him, “Are there any Mexican Jews?”

“I don’t know, senor, let me ask,” the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen.

He returned in a few minutes and said, “No, sir. No Mexican Jews.”

“Are you sure?” Joe asked.

“I will check again, senor.” the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen.

While he was gone, Barry said, “I cannot believe there are no Jews in Mexico. Our people are scattered everywhere.”

When the waiter returned he said, “Senor, no Mexican Jews.”

“Are you really sure?” Joe asked again. “I cannot believe there are no Mexican Jews.”

“Senor, I ask everyone,” the waiter replied, exasperated. “We have orange Jews, prune Jews, tomato Jews and grape Jews, but no one ever hear of Mexican Jews.”


QuotaBills
Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

Fine words do not produce food. - Nigeria Proverb

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

It's okay to play with your food. - Emeril Lagasse

The best food is whatever fills the belly. - Arab Proverb

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

There is no love sincerer than the love of food. - George Bernard Shaw

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

All men are Jews, except they don't know it. - Bernard Malamud

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

Food tastes best when you eat it with your own spoon. - Denmark Proverb

Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker

I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

I don't think anyone has been slandered more than the Jews. - Fidel Castro

Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice! - WC Fields

You cannot come to a Nigerian restaurant without having pepper soup. - Ben Okri

Jews don't drink much because it interferes with their suffering. - Milton Berle

Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis. - Brendan Behan

Mexico: where life is cheap, death is rich, and the buzzards are never unhappy. - Edward Abbey

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. - George Carlin

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again. - George Miller

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

If life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it. - Unknown

I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison

Mexican, Mediterranean, Italian, sushi, I love it all. Put it on a plate, and as long as I know what it is, I will eat it. - Camren Bicondova

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

In Mexico, an air-conditioner is called a "politician" because it makes a lot of noise but doesn't work very well. - Len Deighton

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. - Red Skelton

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie


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20-Oct-2019