Mexican Jews
Searching for kosher food in Mexico

Barry and Joe were sitting in a Mexican restaurant.

“Barry,” asked Joe, “are there any Jews in Mexico?”

“I don’t know,” Barry replied. “Why don’t we ask the waiter?”

When the waiter came by, Joe asked him, “Are there any Mexican Jews?”

“I don’t know, senor, let me ask,” the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen.

He returned in a few minutes and said, “No, sir. No Mexican Jews.”

“Are you sure?” Joe asked.

“I will check again, senor.” the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen.

While he was gone, Barry said, “I cannot believe there are no Jews in Mexico. Our people are scattered everywhere.”

When the waiter returned he said, “Senor, no Mexican Jews.”

“Are you really sure?” Joe asked again. “I cannot believe there are no Mexican Jews.”

“Senor, I ask everyone,” the waiter replied, exasperated. “We have orange Jews, prune Jews, tomato Jews and grape Jews, but no one ever hear of Mexican Jews.”


QuotaBills
Zombies hate fast food. - Unknown

Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

Off-the-docks Jews (Orthodox Jews) - Archie Bunker

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

The French: Germans with good food. - Fran Lebowitz

Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

It's okay to play with your food. - Emeril Lagasse

Laughter is brightest where food is best. - Irish Proverb

The best food is whatever fills the belly. - Arab Proverb

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. - Emily Dickinson

What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson

There is no love sincerer than the love of food. - George Bernard Shaw

Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

You are only master of food that you haven't yet eaten. - Tibet Proverb

I don't think anyone has been slandered more than the Jews. - Fidel Castro

My driving abilities from Mexico have helped me get through Hollywood. - Salma Hayek

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

If you are looking for a fly in your food, it means that you are full. - South Africa Proverb

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater

Your food is close to your stomach, but you must put it in your mouth first. - African Saying

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

Mexico: where life is cheap, death is rich, and the buzzards are never unhappy. - Edward Abbey

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

Even bees, the little almsmen of spring bowers, know there is richest juice in poison-flowers. - John Keats

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland

Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain

I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper

I asked the waiter, "Is this milk fresh?" He said, "Lady, three hours ago it was grass." - Phyllis Diller

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

I went to a fancy French restaurant called "Deja Vu." The headwaiter said, "Don't I know you?" - Steven Wright

Mexican, Mediterranean, Italian, sushi, I love it all. Put it on a plate, and as long as I know what it is, I will eat it. - Camren Bicondova

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. - Bryan Miller

In Mexico, an air-conditioner is called a "politician" because it makes a lot of noise but doesn't work very well. - Len Deighton

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. - Red Skelton

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


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21-Aug-2019