Stabity Stab Stab
Fighting a losing cause with whatever you’ve got

A young soldier, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn’t have a rifle.
“That’s no problem, son,” said the sergeant. “Here, take this broom. Just point it at the Germans, and go ‘Bangety Bang Bang’.”
“But what about a bayonet, Sarge?” asked the young (and gullible) recruit.
The sergeant pulls a piece of straw from the end of the broom, and attaches it to the handle end. “Here, use this... just go, ‘Stabity Stab Stab’.”

The recruit ends up alone on the battlefield, holding just his broom. Suddenly, a German soldier charges at him.
The recruit points the broom. “Bangety Bang Bang!” The German falls dead. More Germans appear. The recruit, amazed at his good luck, goes “Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!” He mows down the enemy by the dozens.
Finally, the battlefield is clear, except for one German soldier walking slowly toward him. “Bangety Bang Bang!” shouts the recruit.
The German keeps coming.
“Bangety Bang Bang!” repeats the recruit, to no avail. He gets desperate. “Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!”

It’s no use. The German keeps coming. He stomps the recruit into the ground, and says...
“Tankety Tank Tank.”


What happens when both sides have no weapons...

QuotaBills
An army marches on its stomach. - Napoleon Bonaparte

All's fair in love and war. - John Lyly

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

A gun gives you the body, not the bird. - Henry David Thoreau

If we don't end war, war will end us. - H G Wells

The army is the true nobility of our country. - Napoleon III

He everywhere sought excuses for stirring up war. - Livy

Sometime they'll give a war and nobody will come. - Carl Sandburg

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop. - H L Mencken

All diplomacy is a continuation of war by other means. - Zhou Enlai

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality. - Jules de Gaultier

War is only a cowardly escape from the problems of peace. - Thomas Mann

The true champion loses many battles before winning the war. - Unknown

World War II was the last government program that really worked. - George Will

The only thing I’m afraid of is a life without you, Pigeon. - Jamie McGuire

A conquering army on the border will not be stopped by eloquence. - Otto von Bismarck

Mankind must put an end to war, or war will put an end to mankind. - John F Kennedy

In peace sons bury their fathers, but in war fathers bury their sons. - Croesus

It is well that war is so terrible, or we should grow too fond of it. - Robert E Lee

When starting and waging war it is not right that matters, but victory. - Adolf Hitler

Those who love peace must learn to organize as well as those who love war. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime. - Ernest Hemingway

When I take a gun in hand, the safest place for a pheasant is just opposite the muzzle. - Sydney Smith

An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II

In any war, the first casualty is common sense, and the second is free and open discussion. - James Reston

Samson, he takes the jawbone out of the grass and he kills the whole army of the Phillipines. - Archie Bunker

Disease is war with the laws of our being, and all war, as a great general has said, is hell. - Lewis G. Janes

It used to be that when all else failed, a guy went into the army; now he becomes a consultant. - Blackie Sherrod

You can't say that civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way. - Will Rogers

For a war to be just three conditions are necessary - public authority, just cause, right motive. - Ernest Hemingway

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can, only as one who has seen its brutality, its stupidity. - Dwight D Eisenhower

Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man. - Benjamin Franklin

It no longer makes economic sense to send an advertising message to the many in hopes of persuading the few. - M. Lawrence Light

In July of 2004, I came out strongly against the war with Iraq because it was going to destabilize the Middle East. - Donald Trump

Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry. - Joseph Heller

The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular? - David Sarnoff

Maybe the answer to Selective Service is to start everyone off in the army and draft them for civilian life as needed. - Bill Vaughan

The only difference between a pigeon and the American farmer today is that a pigeon can still make a deposit on a John Deere. - Jim Hightower

We discern across the centuries a commanding and versatile intelligence, wielding with equal force the sword of war and of justice. - Winston Churchill


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15-Dec-2018