Stabity Stab Stab
Fighting a losing cause with whatever you’ve got

A young soldier, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn’t have a rifle.
“That’s no problem, son,” said the sergeant. “Here, take this broom. Just point it at the Germans, and go ‘Bangety Bang Bang’.”
“But what about a bayonet, Sarge?” asked the young (and gullible) recruit.
The sergeant pulls a piece of straw from the end of the broom, and attaches it to the handle end. “Here, use this... just go, ‘Stabity Stab Stab’.”

The recruit ends up alone on the battlefield, holding just his broom. Suddenly, a German soldier charges at him.
The recruit points the broom. “Bangety Bang Bang!” The German falls dead. More Germans appear. The recruit, amazed at his good luck, goes “Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!” He mows down the enemy by the dozens.
Finally, the battlefield is clear, except for one German soldier walking slowly toward him. “Bangety Bang Bang!” shouts the recruit.
The German keeps coming.
“Bangety Bang Bang!” repeats the recruit, to no avail. He gets desperate. “Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!”

It’s no use. The German keeps coming. He stomps the recruit into the ground, and says...
“Tankety Tank Tank.”


What happens when both sides have no weapons...

QuotaBills
My life is my message. - Mohandas Gandhi

Ordinary tradegies of war - Archie Bunker

The law is silent during war. - Cicero

An army marches on its stomach. - Napoleon Bonaparte

All's fair in love and war. - John Lyly

Love is a kind of military service. - Ovid

In war, truth is the first casualty. - Aeschylus

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

War hath no fury like a non-combatant. - C.E. Montague

Skill and confidence are an unconquered army. - George Herbert

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. - Groucho Marx

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

Free speech is a great idea, but we're in a war. - Lindsey Graham

War does not determine who is right - only who is left. - Bertrand Russell

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality. - Jules de Gaultier

The military don't start wars. Politicians start wars. - William Westmoreland

The true champion loses many battles before winning the war. - Unknown

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room! - Dr. Strangelove

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. - Sun Tzu

In peace sons bury their fathers, but in war fathers bury their sons. - Croesus

Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man. - Rabindranath Tagore

Your heaviest artillery will be your will to live. Keep that big gun going. - Norman Cousins

A piece of spaghetti or a military unit can only be led from the front end. - George S Patton

I still believe that love is all you need. I don't know a better message than that. - Paul McCartney

When I take a gun in hand, the safest place for a pheasant is just opposite the muzzle. - Sydney Smith

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

You can't say civilization don't advance... for every war they kill you a new way. - Will Rogers

Message boards are like going to a Halloween masquerade party. Everybody has a screen name. - John Mackey

You can't say that civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way. - Will Rogers

During World War II children were not allowed to trick or treat because there was a sugar shortage. - Linda Bozzo

I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. - John Adams

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can, only as one who has seen its brutality, its stupidity. - Dwight D Eisenhower

It no longer makes economic sense to send an advertising message to the many in hopes of persuading the few. - M. Lawrence Light

Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry. - Joseph Heller

It takes but one positive thought when given a chance to survive and thrive to overpower an entire army of negative thoughts. - Robert H. Schuller

Let me put it this way. Canada is not so much a country as a holding tank filled with the disgruntled progeny of defeated peoples. - Mordecai Richler

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular. - Jay Leno

Once we have a war there is only one thing to do. It must be won. For defeat brings worse things than any that can ever happen in war. - Ernest Hemingway


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18-Feb-2019