Stabity Stab Stab
Fighting a losing cause with whatever you’ve got

A young soldier, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn’t have a rifle.
“That’s no problem, son,” said the sergeant. “Here, take this broom. Just point it at the Germans, and go ‘Bangety Bang Bang’.”
“But what about a bayonet, Sarge?” asked the young (and gullible) recruit.
The sergeant pulls a piece of straw from the end of the broom, and attaches it to the handle end. “Here, use this... just go, ‘Stabity Stab Stab’.”

The recruit ends up alone on the battlefield, holding just his broom. Suddenly, a German soldier charges at him.
The recruit points the broom. “Bangety Bang Bang!” The German falls dead. More Germans appear. The recruit, amazed at his good luck, goes “Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!” He mows down the enemy by the dozens.
Finally, the battlefield is clear, except for one German soldier walking slowly toward him. “Bangety Bang Bang!” shouts the recruit.
The German keeps coming.
“Bangety Bang Bang!” repeats the recruit, to no avail. He gets desperate. “Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!”

It’s no use. The German keeps coming. He stomps the recruit into the ground, and says...
“Tankety Tank Tank.”


What happens when both sides have no weapons...

QuotaBills
My life is my message. - Mohandas Gandhi

The medium is the message. - Marshall McLuhan

The law is silent during war. - Cicero

A gun gives you the body, not the bird. - Henry David Thoreau

Hockey is figure skating in a war zone. - Unknown

Don't win a battle and lose the war. - Unknown

If we don't end war, war will end us. - H G Wells

To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war. - Winston Churchill

A war still rages over the legacy of the 1960s. - Camille Paglia

He everywhere sought excuses for stirring up war. - Livy

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. - Groucho Marx

I now close my military career and just fade away. - Douglas MacArthur

Marketing strategy is a lot like military strategy. - Liddell Hart

Free speech is a great idea, but we're in a war. - Lindsey Graham

All diplomacy is a continuation of war by other means. - Zhou Enlai

War does not determine who is right - only who is left. - Bertrand Russell

War is only a cowardly escape from the problems of peace. - Thomas Mann

The military don't start wars. Politicians start wars. - William Westmoreland

The true champion loses many battles before winning the war. - Unknown

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room! - Dr. Strangelove

Sometimes by losing a battle you find a new way to win the war. - Donald Trump

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. - Sun Tzu

The only thing I’m afraid of is a life without you, Pigeon. - Jamie McGuire

Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed. - Mao Zedong

Those who love peace must learn to organize as well as those who love war. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Your heaviest artillery will be your will to live. Keep that big gun going. - Norman Cousins

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

He's talking another war, an old war, ya know, 1812, the one between the states. - Archie Bunker

If it weren't for the Japanese and Germans, we wouldn't have any good war movies. - Stanley Ross

Samson, he takes the jawbone out of the grass and he kills the whole army of the Phillipines. - Archie Bunker

During World War II children were not allowed to trick or treat because there was a sugar shortage. - Linda Bozzo

Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man. - Benjamin Franklin

It no longer makes economic sense to send an advertising message to the many in hopes of persuading the few. - M. Lawrence Light

The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular? - David Sarnoff

Only think of two things - the gun and the tape. When you hear the one, just run like hell until you break the other. - Sam Mussabini

Maybe the answer to Selective Service is to start everyone off in the army and draft them for civilian life as needed. - Bill Vaughan

It takes but one positive thought when given a chance to survive and thrive to overpower an entire army of negative thoughts. - Robert H. Schuller

Let me put it this way. Canada is not so much a country as a holding tank filled with the disgruntled progeny of defeated peoples. - Mordecai Richler

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular. - Jay Leno

We discern across the centuries a commanding and versatile intelligence, wielding with equal force the sword of war and of justice. - Winston Churchill


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18-Jun-2019