Stabity Stab Stab
Fighting a losing cause with whatever you’ve got

A young soldier, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn’t have a rifle.
“That’s no problem, son,” said the sergeant. “Here, take this broom. Just point it at the Germans, and go ‘Bangety Bang Bang’.”
“But what about a bayonet, Sarge?” asked the young (and gullible) recruit.
The sergeant pulls a piece of straw from the end of the broom, and attaches it to the handle end. “Here, use this... just go, ‘Stabity Stab Stab’.”

The recruit ends up alone on the battlefield, holding just his broom. Suddenly, a German soldier charges at him.
The recruit points the broom. “Bangety Bang Bang!” The German falls dead. More Germans appear. The recruit, amazed at his good luck, goes “Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!” He mows down the enemy by the dozens.
Finally, the battlefield is clear, except for one German soldier walking slowly toward him. “Bangety Bang Bang!” shouts the recruit.
The German keeps coming.
“Bangety Bang Bang!” repeats the recruit, to no avail. He gets desperate. “Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!”

It’s no use. The German keeps coming. He stomps the recruit into the ground, and says...
“Tankety Tank Tank.”


What happens when both sides have no weapons...

QuotaBills
Salivation Army - Archie Bunker

In war, truth is the first casualty. - Aeschylus

War hath no fury like a non-combatant. - C.E. Montague

Don't win a battle and lose the war. - Unknown

If we don't end war, war will end us. - H G Wells

To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war. - Winston Churchill

A war for a great principle ennobles a nation. - Albert Pike

The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it. - George Orwell

He everywhere sought excuses for stirring up war. - Livy

When the rich wage war, it's the poor who die. - Jean-Paul Sartre

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war. - Albert Einstein

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality. - Jules de Gaultier

You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake. - Jeanette Rankin

The military don't start wars. Politicians start wars. - William Westmoreland

The true champion loses many battles before winning the war. - Unknown

France has lost the battle, but France has not lost the war. - Charles de Gaulle

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room! - Dr. Strangelove

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? - Mae West

You may not be interested in war, but war is interested in you. - Leon Trotsky

War has rules, mud wrestling has rules - politics has no rules. - Ross Perot

A conquering army on the border will not be stopped by eloquence. - Otto von Bismarck

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week. - Will Rogers

When starting and waging war it is not right that matters, but victory. - Adolf Hitler

Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man. - Rabindranath Tagore

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep. - Arab Proverb

You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. - Al Capone

Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime. - Ernest Hemingway

There is no avoiding war, it can only be postponed to the advantage of your enemy. - Niccolo Machiavelli

He's talking another war, an old war, ya know, 1812, the one between the states. - Archie Bunker

When I take a gun in hand, the safest place for a pheasant is just opposite the muzzle. - Sydney Smith

Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime. - Alphonse Allais

You can't say civilization don't advance... for every war they kill you a new way. - Will Rogers

I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can, only as one who has seen its brutality, its stupidity. - Dwight D Eisenhower

Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man. - Benjamin Franklin

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular. - Jay Leno

Once we have a war there is only one thing to do. It must be won. For defeat brings worse things than any that can ever happen in war. - Ernest Hemingway

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher


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23-Oct-2019