[Since the Pledge of Allegiance & The Lord’s Prayer are not allowed in most public schools anymore because the word “God” is mentioned... kids in Arizona wrote the following “NEW” School prayer...]
Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule
For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.
If Scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a Federal matter now.
Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
That’s no offense; it’s a freedom scene.
The law is specific, the law is precise.
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.
For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all.
In silence alone we must meditate,
God’s name is prohibited by the state.
We’re allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks.
They’ve outlawed guns, but “FIRST” the Bible.
To quote the Good Book, makes me liable.
We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the “unwed daddy,” our Senior King.
It’s “inappropriate” to teach right from wrong,
We’re taught that such “judgments” don’t belong.
We can get our condoms and birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.
But the Ten Commandments aren’t allowed,
No word of God must reach this crowd.
It’s scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school’s a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot; My soul please take!
Man is a god in ruins. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
My true religion is Kindness. - Dalai Lama
I am an atheist... thank God. - Dave Allen
God is love, but get it in writing. - Gypsy Rose Lee
God has always been hard on the poor. - Jean Paul Marat
Ultimately, blind faith is the only kind. - Mason Cooley
Black holes are where God divided by zero. - Steven Wright
The proverb answers where the sermon fails. - W.G. Simms
Will no one rid me of this turbulent priest? - Henry II
No, I look at the Senators and pray for the country. - Edward Everett Hale
History is a vision of God's creation on the move. - Arnold J. Toynbee
If God can work through me, he can work through anyone. - Saint Francis of Assisi
The heart that is generous and kind most resembles God. - Robert Burns
An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching. - Mahatma Gandhi
The Bible tells us to forgive our enemies, not our friends. - Margot Asquith
True religion is the life we lead, not the creed we profess. - Louis Nizer
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. - Voltaire
God never sent hunger without sending something to satisfy it. - Ireland Proverb
God gave us our relatives; thank God we can choose our friends. - Ethel Mumford
I cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
The things which are impossible with men are possible with God. - Luke 18:27
There lives more faith in honest doubt than in half the creeds. - Alfred Lord Tennyson
God gave us our memories so that we might have roses in December. - James M Barrie
Without faith, nothing is possible. With it, nothing is impossible. - Mary McLeod Bethune
Thank God men cannot as yet fly and lay waste the sky as well as the earth. - Henry David Thoreau
The Bible does not give us a road map for life, but it does give us a compass. - Gordon S. Jackson
The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament showeth his handiwork. - Psalms 19:1
Thank God I've got eyebrows like bacon, because I've always got egg on my face. - Jarod Kintz
may I be I is the only prayer - not may I be great or good or beautiful or wise or strong. - e e cummings
I don't see anywhere in the Bible where it says you shouldn't get breast implants. - Carrie Prejean
If God had intended for breasts to be seen, He wouldn't have created large woolen pullovers. - Tracey Ullman
Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it. - Josh Billings
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen
The bulletin board on the lawn of a New Jersey Church reads "We reserve the right to accept everybody." - John Kazmark
In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue
"I am who I am", said God to Moses regarding His name, because none was worth to be compared to His godhead. - Toba Beta
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. - George Burns
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt
It is easy - terribly easy - to shake a man's faith in himself. To take advantage of that, to break a man's spirit, is devil's work. - George Bernard Shaw
Religions, which condemn the pleasures of sense, drive men to seek the pleasures of power. Throughout history power has been the vice of the ascetic. - Bertrand Russell
Religious & School Sections
Ain’t Peter's Place
All Dogs Go To Heaven
An Evening Prayer
Breakable Postal Package
Church Sign Generator
Church Sign Messages
Da End Iss Near
Day of Light and Darkness
Dead Sea Fish
Equal Rights Church
For Your Synths
God’s Little Instructions
Halo to the Holy Dog
Job Interview With God
John The Baptist Souvenirs
Letters to God - From Children
Please Help My Car
The Eye of God
The Very First King Size Bed
Wash Away Sins
Redneck Plane Repair
Smart Fortune Cookie
We Are All Tied Together
Going For A Walk
Fell Years Ago
No Pot Of Gold
Krispy Kreme Waffles
Hungry For Justice
Latest Cell Phone