[Since the Pledge of Allegiance & The Lord’s Prayer are not allowed in most public schools anymore because the word “God” is mentioned... kids in Arizona wrote the following “NEW” School prayer...]
Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule
For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.
If Scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a Federal matter now.
Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
That’s no offense; it’s a freedom scene.
The law is specific, the law is precise.
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.
For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all.
In silence alone we must meditate,
God’s name is prohibited by the state.
We’re allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks.
They’ve outlawed guns, but “FIRST” the Bible.
To quote the Good Book, makes me liable.
We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the “unwed daddy,” our Senior King.
It’s “inappropriate” to teach right from wrong,
We’re taught that such “judgments” don’t belong.
We can get our condoms and birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.
But the Ten Commandments aren’t allowed,
No word of God must reach this crowd.
It’s scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school’s a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot; My soul please take!
God is in the details. - Ludwig Mies van der Rohe
I am the punishment of God. - Genghis Khan
You cannot serve God and Mammon. - Bible
I find your lack of faith disturbing. - Darth Vader
That Meathead calls me a religious phonetic. - Archie Bunker
Friends are God's apology for relatives. - Hugh Kingsmill
Music is spiritual. The music business is not. - Van Morrison
Spring shows what God can do with a drab and dirty world. - Victor Kraft
God, it seems, is a verb, not a noun, proper or improper. - R Buckminster Fuller
If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us air tickets. - Mel Brooks
There lives more faith in honest doubt than in half the creeds. - Alfred Lord Tennyson
Never pray to win, but to do your best - for God has no favorites. - Dorothy I. Welker
Faith, to my mind, is a stiffening process, a sort of mental starch. - E.M. Forster
Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition. - Alan Turing
Man - a creature created at the end of a work week when God was tired. - Mark Twain
Without faith, a man can do nothing; with it, all things are possible. - William Osler
Give me a couple of pages of the Bible, and I'll give you a picture. - Cecil B. DeMille
I found a country [America] with thirty-two religions and only one sauce. - Charles-Maurice de Talleyrand-Perogord
Whatever happens, abide steadfast in a determination to cling simply to God. - Francis de Sales
A pretty good test of a man's religion is how it affects his pocketbook. - Francis James Grimke
Cocaine is God’s way of telling you you’re making too much money. - Robin Williams
The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament showeth his handiwork. - Psalms 19:1
My favourite characters in the Bible are King David, Delilah and Charlton Heston. - Milton Berle
In this religious order has flourished and is revitalized the order of Knighthood. - Knights Templar
Work as if you were to live a hundred years.
Pray as if you were to die tomorrow. - Benjamin Franklin
Grandchildren are God's rewards to grandparents for not shooting their children. - Unknown
I have been all things unholy; if God can work through me, He can work through anyone. - St Francis of Assisi
Sometimes I get to places just when God's ready to have somebody click the shutter. - Ansel Adams
In Islam, the legislative power and competence to establish laws belong exclusively to God. - Ayatollah Khomeini
Open your eyes that you might see that all things are possible through you (with God's help). - Robert A. Schuller
If I were ever prosecuted for my religion, I truly hope there would be enough evidence to convict me. - John Wooden
Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson
An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. - Robin Williams
It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand. - Mark Twain
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. - George Burns
It is the studying you do after your school days that really counts. Otherwise, you know only that which everyone else knows. - Henry L. Doherty
I find that the nicest and best people generally profess no religion at all, but are ready to like the best men of all religions. - Samuel Butler
Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. - Reinhold Niebuhr
Religious & School Sections
Ain’t Peter's Place
All Dogs Go To Heaven
An Evening Prayer
Breakable Postal Package
Church Sign Generator
Church Sign Messages
Da End Iss Near
Day of Light and Darkness
Dead Sea Fish
Equal Rights Church
For Your Synths
God’s Little Instructions
Halo to the Holy Dog
Job Interview With God
John The Baptist Souvenirs
Letters to God - From Children
Please Help My Car
The Eye of God
The Very First King Size Bed
Wash Away Sins
Billy Goat Gruff
Marathon Runner Tip
Doc In A Box
One At A Time
Life And Beer Are Very Similar
Redneck Speed Bump
Studley Tool Chest
Shopping With Your Husband
Math Lab Bust
Redneck Winter Tires