Why Women Don’t Let Men Bathe Kids
A man’s “Clean House” policy




QuotaBills
Keep a clean kitchen - dine out. - Unknown

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

I had to sink my yacht to make the guests go home. - F Scott Fitzgerald

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. - Harry S Truman

You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

My grandmother took a bath every year, whether she was dirty or not. - Brendan Behan

I always had a fantasy of being a chef, because I like kitchen life. - Geoffrey Rush

Shells sink,
Dreams float,
Life's good
On our boat. - Jimmy Buffet

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

It never fails - you get in the bath and there's a rub at the lamp. - Robin Williams

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio. - Rodney Dangerfield

An entire ocean can't sink a ship unless it allows the water inside. - Donna Smith

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove. - Groucho Marx

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be in my bath, and she'd come in and sink my boats. - Woody Allen

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

In the words of Harry S. Truman, "If it's too hot in the kitchen, stay away from the cook." - Archie Bunker

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

Sensitive love letters are my specialty: "Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You. P.S. I'm gay." - Homer Simpson

There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the bogeyman or Michael Jackson. - Bart Simpson

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell? - Homer Simpson

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller


see also   Kids  Section
Why Men Need Post-It Notes
Why Men Shouldn’t Babysit
Why Men Shouldn’t Take Messages

 

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19-Feb-2019