Jewish Samurai
Search for the new Chief Samurai

Once upon a time a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new Chief Samurai. After a year, only three applied for the job: a Japanese, a Chinese and a Jewish Samurai.

“Demonstrate your skills!” commanded the Emperor.
The Japanese samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box and released a fly. He drew his samurai sword and * Swish! * the fly fell to the floor, neatly divided in two!
“What a feat!” said the Emperor.

“Number Two Samurai, show me what you can do.”
The Chinese samurai smiled confidently, stepped forward and opened a tiny box, releasing a fly. He drew his samurai sword and * Swish! * Swish! * The fly fell to the floor neatly quartered!
“That is skill!” nodded the Emperor.

“How are you going to top that, Number three Samurai?”
Number Three Samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box releasing one fly, drew his samurai sword and * Swoooooosh! * flourished his sword so mightily that a gust of wind blew through the room. But the fly was still buzzing around!

In disappointment, the Emperor said, “What kind of skill is that? The fly isn’t even dead.”

“Dead, schmead,” replied the Jewish Samurai. “Dead is easy. Circumcision... THAT takes skill!”



QuotaBills
I got bigger fish to fly - Archie Bunker

Wiping out is an underappreciated skill. - Laird Hamilton

The good of the people is the chief law. - Cicero

Skill and confidence are an unconquered army. - George Herbert

Emperor Negro, who fiddled while Rome burned. - Archie Bunker

Mothers are angels that lift us when we cannot fly. - Unknown

Years fly by, but the heart stays in the same place. - Harlan Coben

You cannot fly like an eagle with the wings of a wren. - William Henry Hudson

When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece. - Unknown

Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker

Luck is like having a rice dumpling fly into your mouth. - Japanese Proverb

The higher we soar the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Logic is like the sword – those who appeal to it shall perish by it. - Edward Gibbon

If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb

I am a genre lover - everything from spaghetti western to samurai movies. - Quentin Tarantino

Giving your son a skill is better than giving him one thousand pieces of gold. - Chinese Proverb

Humour is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood. - Mary Hirsch

If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport. - Jonathan Winters

It's OK to have butterflies in your stomach. Just get them to fly in formation. - Rob Gilbert

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. - Muhammad Ali

A great athlete does not come from muscle, speed, and skill, but from the mind first. - Dan E. Welker

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly. - Lanston Hughes

Man's chief enemy is his own unruly nature and the dark forces pent up within him. - Ernst Jones

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

Because the Empire controls the media, we can turn any news to the Emperor's advantage. - Daniel Wallace

You can't fly with the owls by night and expect to keep up with the eagles during the day. - Unknown

Moses was the greatest legislator and the commander in chief of perhaps the first liberation army. - Elie Wiesel

He that wrestles with us strengthens our nerves, and sharpens our skill. Our antagonist is our helper. - Edmund Burke

The chief reason for going to school is to get the impression fixed for life that there is a book side for everything. - Robert Frost

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
So just what are time flies, and why do they fly like an arrow? - Groucho Marx

Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know so it goes flying anyway. - Mary Kay Ash

We are faced with the paradoxical fact that education has become one of the chief obstacles to intelligence and freedom of thought. - Bertrand Russell

We discern across the centuries a commanding and versatile intelligence, wielding with equal force the sword of war and of justice. - Winston Churchill

The formulation of a problem is often more essential than its solution, which may be merely a matter of mathematical or experimental skill. - Albert Einstein

Luke, you can destroy the Emperor. He has foreseen this. It is your destiny. Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son. - Darth Vader

"Underlings should always be uncomfortable in the presence of their superiors," said the Emperor. "Don't you agree?" - Paul S. Kemp

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

The chief ingredients in the composition of those qualities that gain esteem and praise, are good nature, truth, good sense, and good breeding. - Joseph Addison

This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet. - Rumi


see also   Armed Forces,   Medical  &  Nationality  Sections
Bread Shortage for Jewish Customer
Jewish-Chinese Night before Christmas
Jewish Fire Department
Jewish Holiday
Jewish Humour
Jewish Mother-In-Law
Portable Samurai
Samurai Sudoku

 

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18-Sep-2019