Webster’s First Dictionary

An alternative to talking to the wife





How to get along with your wife

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A woman's work is never done - by men. - Unknown

A man's only as old as the woman he feels. - Groucho Marx

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

As Unto The Bow The Cord Is, So Unto The Man Is Woman - Longfellow

No man should plant more garden than his wife can hoe. - Old Saying

A weeping man and a smiling woman are not to be trusted. - Indian Proverb

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. - Oscar Wilde

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

The only place men want depth in a woman is in her decolletage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her. - Oscar Wilde

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Sigmund Freud

Men fall in love with their eyes. Women fall in love with their ears. - Dr. Phil McGraw

Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man. - Erica Jong

Impossible is a word to be found only in the dictionary of fools. - Napoleon Bonaparte

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

There is no place where success comes before work, except in the dictionary. - Donald Kimball

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

I want to be a millionaire not for the money but for the woman I will become. - Jaime Tardy

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. - WC Fields

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

Women have a hard enough time in this world; telling them the truth would be too cruel. - H L Mencken

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his. - Oscar Wilde

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women access to the mainstream of society. - Rush Limbaugh

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

If you're unable to find your face in the dictionary, then take this opportunity to define yourself. - Faydra D. Fields

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

I was just so lucky with 'Real Women Have Curves.' At that point, I would have done an insurance commercial. I would have done anything. - America Ferrera

If you never want to see a man again, just tell him, "I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children." They leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner


see also   Language,  Marriage  &  Relationship  Sections
3 Stages Of A Man’s Life
4 Stages Of Life
A Man’s Life
A Woman’s Hands
A Woman’s Mind
Bedside Non-Assistance
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Keyboard Wedding
Looking For Your Wife?
Looking Small
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
The Origin of the White Wedding Dress
Understanding Women
Until We Understand Women
When Men Shop For Groceries

 

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18-Feb-2018