Webster’s First Dictionary

An alternative to talking to the wife





How to get along with your wife

QuotaBills
Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

I'm a woman who wants her chocolate. - Jessica Simpson

Women would rather be right than reasonable. - Ogden Nash

In married life, three is company and two none. - Oscar Wilde

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

A woman can keep one secret - the secret of her age. - Voltaire

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

Even in the dictionary, academics comes before athletics. - William A. Welker

A man's home is his castle, and his wife is the janitor. - Lucille Kallen

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

Women's styles may change but their designs remain the same. - Oscar Wilde

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. - Groucho Marx

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. - Stephanie Piro

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx

That woman temptated me up there and you know she was a wonton woman. - Archie Bunker

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her. - Red Skelton

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman

The Book of Life begins with a man and woman in a garden, and it ends with Revelations. - Oscar Wilde

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost

A man has to be Joe McCarthy to be called ruthless. All a woman has to do is put you on hold. - Marlo Thomas

Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife. - Milton Berle

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied. - Oscar Wilde

Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age; a woman who would tell one would tell one anything. - Oscar Wilde

No woman is worth more than a fiver unless you're in love with her. Then she is worth all she costs you. - W Somerset Maugham

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. - Jerry Seinfeld

Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town. - Steve Martin

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

Getting married is easy. Staying married is more difficult. Staying happily married for a lifetime should rank among the fine arts. - Roberta Flack

Feminism isn't about making women stronger. Women are already strong. It's about changing the way the world perceives that strength. - G.D. Anderson

If you never want to see a man again, just tell him, "I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children." They leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon


see also   Language,  Marriage  &  Relationship  Sections
3 Stages Of A Man’s Life
4 Stages Of Life
A Man’s Life
A Woman’s Hands
A Woman’s Mind
Bedside Non-Assistance
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Keyboard Wedding
Looking For Your Wife?
Looking Small
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
The Origin of the White Wedding Dress
Understanding Women
Until We Understand Women
When Men Shop For Groceries

 

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16-Dec-2018