Irish Birth Control

Lights out for the Roman candle

Seeing the light at the end of the Roman tunnel



Mrs. Donovan was walking down O’Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty.

The Father said, “Top o’ the mornin’ to ye! Aren’t ye Mrs. Donovan and didn’t I marry ye and yer hoosband 2 years ago?”

She replied, “Aye, that ye did, Father.”

The Father asked, “And be there any wee little ones yet?”

She replied, “No, not yet, Father.”

The Father said, “Well now, I’m going to Rome next week and I’ll light a candle for ye and yer hoosband.”

She replied, “Oh, thank ye, Father.”
They then parted ways.

Some years later they met again.
The Father asked, “Well now, Mrs. Donovan, how are ye these days?”

She replied, “Oh, very well, Father!”

The Father asked, “And tell me, have ye any wee ones yet?”

She replied, “Oh yes, Father! Three sets of twins and 4 singles, 10 in all!”

The Father said, “That’s wonderful! How is yer loving hoosband doing?”

She replied, “E’s gone to Rome to blow out yer fookin’ candle.”



QuotaBills
To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy

Ireland is the old sow that eats her farrow. - James Joyce

When Irish eyes are smiling, watch your step. - Gerald Kersh

Being Irish, I always had this love of words. - Kenneth Branagh

Our Irish blunders are never blunders of the heart. - Maria Edgeworth

My dad's Irish music was such a huge influence. - Dido Armstrong

Yelling Irish, you can sound like an angry Leprechaun. - Norman Reedus

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

The Irish forgive their great men when they are safely buried. - Unknown

I miss Irish milk. Probably not as much as Superquinn sausages. - Tristan MacManus

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

I'm from durable stock. I'm made to work. I'm Irish. - Mary McCormack

It is a symbol of Irish art. The cracked looking-glass of a servant. - James Joyce

Even when they have nothing, the Irish emit a kind of happiness, a joy. - Fiona Shaw

I've heard some duff Irish accents. The worst must be Mickey Rourke. - James Nesbitt

What's the use of being Irish if the world doesn't break your heart? - Unknown

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

Wherever you go and whatever you do, may the luck of the Irish be there with you. - Irish Blessings

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

I am who I am: an Irish Catholic kid, working class from Long Island. And I made it big. - Bill O'Reilly

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

I'm Irish. That means I'm Catholic. But, truth is, now I'm a retired Christian. - Peter O'Toole

I have a difficult time doing an Irish accent; even now, it kind of fades slowly into Scottish. - Robin Williams

I think the genetics of being Irish are that you sort of prefer when it's rainy and cloudy. - Kate Flannery

Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson

Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle

The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet. - Oliver Herford

Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy. - William Butler Yeats

I think Paul McGuinness and U2 created the Irish music industry. It certainly wasn't there before that. - Van Morrison

I was freelancing for years in Cork and around. I also wrote freelance pieces for 'The Irish Times.' - Kevin Barry

May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door. - Irish Blessings

The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad.
For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad. - G K Chesterton

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

I think being a woman is like being Irish. Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the same. - Iris Murdoch

With such riches as I have in life, you're always nervous. Being Irish, you're waiting for something to knock it sideways. - Pierce Brosnan

That's what the holidays are for - for one person to tell the stories and another to dispute them. Isn't that the Irish way? - Lara Flynn Boyle


see also   Marriage,  Nationality   &  Religious   Sections
Flooded Ireland Streets
Going Green for Ireland
Green Beards
Habby Sin Pad-Riggs Dey!
Irish Alzheimers
Irish Bar
Irish Blessings and Sayings
Irish Diplomacy
Irish Dock Overboard Oh-Nos
Irish Drink
Irish Exam
Irish Flood
Irish Handcuffs
Irish Rugby Fans
Irish Sky Garden Crater
Irish Sunblock
Irish Virgin
Irish Weather Forecasting
Irishman’s First Baseball Game
Little Leprechaun
Queen’s Recent Visit to Ireland
St. Patrick’s Day Joe-ks
St. Patrick’s Day Riddles
St. Patrick’s Dog
Swimming Buddies
Teddy Bear Dance
The Fert
Whiskey Around The World
Whiskey Silly

 

Cultivator

Hazardous Materials Data Sheet for Woman

TP Safety

Crochet Shorts

Wine Bottle Recycling

Garden Outhouse

Alberta Winter Fridge

Wheelbarrow Wheelies

Redneck Deer Stand

Bucket Seat

Security Camera Setup

Smithton Stoneys

Hearse Parking

Just Saying Goodbye

Golden End of the Rainbow
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19-Mar-2019