Never Underestimate The Power of Seniors

If you’re going to have a Senior Moment, make it memorable


[This is a true account as recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida…]

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice: “I have a gun, and I know how to use it.  Get out of the car!”

The four men didn’t wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why - for the same reason she did not understand why there was a football, a frisbee and two 12 packs in the front seat... A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.

She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn’t stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed.




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Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

Old age comes at a bad time. - Sue Banducci

Old age is no place for sissies. - Bette Davis

Old age is a wonderful disguise. - Katherine Applegate

I want to die young at a ripe old age. - Ashley Montagu

Old age is like underwear, it creeps up on you. - Unknown

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am. - Bernard Baruch

The gods bestowed on him the gift of perpetual old age. - Oscar Wilde

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves. - Phyllis Diller

Fourty is the old age of youth; 50 is the youth of old age. - Victor Hugo

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Never have I enjoyed youth so thoroughly as I have in my old age. - George Santayana

Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man. - Leon Trotsky

Man fools himself. He prays for a long life, and he fears an old age. - Chinese Proverb

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill

In youth we run into difficulties; in old age difficulties run into us. - Josh Billings

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

I suppose real old age begins when one looks backward rather than forward. - May Sarton

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Francis Bacon

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young. - Dorothy Canfield Fisher

Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too. - Lionel Kauffman

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young. - Fred Astaire

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

My comfort is, that old age, that ill layer-up of beauty, can do no more spoil upon my face. - William Shakespeare

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

Old age has its pleasures, which, though different, are not less than the pleasures of youth. - W Somerset Maugham

To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent - that is to triumph over old age. - Thomas Bailey Aldrich

I'm learning in my old age that the only thing you can do to keep your sanity is to stay in the moment. - Willem Dafoe

You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay


see also   Aging  &  Police  Sections
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Boy Scout Scooter
Camel Walkers
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24-Jun-2019