Cannibalizing The Useful Staff

Corporate Cannibals


A large corporation recently hired several cannibals.

“You are all part of our team now,” said the HR rep during the welcoming briefing. “You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please - don’t eat any of the other employees.”
The cannibals promised they would not.

Four weeks later their boss remarked, “You’re all working very hard, and I’m satisfied with your work. However, one of our secretaries has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?”

The cannibals all shook their heads no. After the boss had left, the leader of the cannibals said to the others, “Which one of you morons ate the secretary?”

A hand rose hesitantly.

“You fool,” the leader continued. “For four weeks we’ve been eating managers and no one noticed anything. But NO-OOOOO… you had to go and eat someone important!”


QuotaBills
Insects all business all the time. - David Foster Wallace

Strong people don't need strong leaders. - Ella Baker

No leader can be too far ahead of his followers. - Eleanor Roosevelt

I have laid aside business, and gone a'fishing. - Izaak Walton

Leadership does not always wear the harness of compromise. - Woodrow Wilson

There is nothing more requisite in business than dispatch. - Joseph Addison

The great leaders have always stage-managed their effects. - Charles de Gaulle

Boldness in business is the first, second, and third thing. - Thomas Fuller

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business. - Dave Barry

You can't be emotional in business, it can flat out kill you. - Donald Trump

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

It's a terrible shame that politics has become show business. - Sydney Pollack

The real leader has no need to lead - he is content to point the way. - Henry Miller

To err is human. To blame it on somebody else shows management potential. - Unknown

Business is like riding a bicycle. Either you keep moving or you fall down. - John D. Wright

Leadership is intangible, and therefore no weapon ever designed can replace it. - Omar N. Bradley

All animals, except man, know that the principal business of life is to enjoy it. - Samuel Butler

The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself. - Will Rogers

Leadership is all about influence - the first person you need to influence is you. - John C Maxwell

Like the cosmetics industry, the securities business is engaged in selling illusion. - Paul Samuelson

I've got to keep breathing. It'll be my worst business mistake if I don't. - Nathan Meyer Rothschild

Leadership is all about influence and everything rises and falls on leadership... everything. - John C Maxwell

Money itself doesn't interest me. But you must make money to go on building the business. - Rupert Murdoch

No person can be a great leader unless he takes genuine joy in the successes of those under him. - W.A. Nance

It's our experience that political leaders don't always mean the opposite of what they say. - Abba Eban

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader. - John Quincy Adams

I believe that if ever I had to practice cannibalism, I might manage if there were enough tarragon around. - James Beard

Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it. - Mark Twain

Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns

The business of government is to keep the government out of business - that is, unless business needs government aid. - Will Rogers

Not to forgive is to be imprisoned by the past, by old grievances that do not permit life to proceed with new business. - Robin Casarjian

The difference between being a manager and being a leader is that managers understand staff and leaders understand people. - Peter Legge

Modern poets talk against business, poor things, but all of us write for money. Beginners are subjected to trial by market. - Robert Frost

It is very vulgar to talk about one's business. Only people like stockbrokers do that, and then merely at dinner parties. - Oscar Wilde

Trying to manage diabetes is hard because if you don't, there are consequences you'll have to deal with later in life. - Bryan Adams

I have made the tough decisions, always with an eye toward the bottom line. Perhaps it's time America was run like a business. - Donald Trump

Living in the past is a dull and lonely business; looking back strains the neck muscles, causes you to bump into people not going your way. - Edna Ferber

Yoga is possible for anybody who really wants it. Yoga is universal... But don't approach yoga with a business mind looking for worldly gain. - Pattabhi Jois

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Lord Francis Bacon

Regarded simply as a politician, and compared with the other leading political figures of our time, how clean a smell he has managed to leave behind. - Mahatma Gandhi


see also   Business  Section
Canada - World Leader of Northern-ness
Cheerless Leader
College in a Nutshell
Dog Marathon
Duckling Dog
Follow The Leader
How Is Your Day Going?
Indian Weather Forecasting
Leading a Remote Life
Leading By Example
Moroff Manager
Ring Leader
Self Confidence
Street Cheerleader
Yoga Leadership

 

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19-Oct-2019