Understanding Women

Genie in a bottle - one wish 4U...


A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud, “Lord grant me one wish.” Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, “Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.”

The man said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want.”

The Lord said, “Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honour and glorify me.”

The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, “Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say “nothing”, and how I can make a woman truly happy.”

The Lord replied, “You want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge?”


QuotaBills
A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Treasure your relationships, not your possessions. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Unknown

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

A bachelor is one who enjoys the chase but does not eat the game. - Unknown

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor. - Lady Bird Johnson

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

Want to improve your relationships? See love as a verb rather than as a feeling. - Stephen R. Covey

Peppering your relationship with a dash of mystery can make it far more palatable. - Khang K. Nguyen

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

As a man in a relationship, you have a simple choice: You can be right or you can be happy. - Ralphie May

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. - Oscar Wilde

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. - Oscar Wilde

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

Valentine's Day: Rubbing singles' noses in their lack of a mate and the noses of couples in their lack of time. - Emma McLaughlin

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash


see also   Genie  &  Relationship  Sections
Understanding Women - Pocket Edition

A Mother’s Love
A Woman’s Mind
Bedside Non-Assistance
Before Online Dating
Everything Men Know About Women
Hormone Guide
Keyboard Wedding
Looking For Your Wife?
Looking Small
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
The Origin of the White Wedding Dress
When Men Shop For Groceries
Will To Live
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

Worst Aid

Mexican Recliners

Size Matters

Leadership Skills

Bottom Dweller

Gene Lifeguard

Portable Shower

Cut-Off Deadline

Kid Disposal

Racing a 'Hot Rod'

Why Elk Have Long Antlers

Biting Shoes

Romanian Auto Safety

New Player

Hoser
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

26-Jun-2019