Baby Sitting Animals

Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

No. I am your Father. - Darth Vader

No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

The Child is father of the Man. - William Wordsworth

It is a wise father that knows his own child. - William Shakespeare

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

Every child needs a father. Even if he turns out to be Darth Vader. - Jackson Radcliffe

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love. - Stendhal

My father was grounded, a very meat-and-potatoes man. He was a baker. - Anthony Hopkins

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - John Wooden

It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was. - Anne Sexton

Don't talk about a rope in the house of someone whose father was hung. - Colin Farrell

Necessity may be the mother of invention, but play is certainly the father. - Roger von Oech

Those who slew my father I drove into exile... and defeated them in battle. - Augustus

My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. - Clarence B. Kelland

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

The Holy Father's newest Encyclacle? Like anyone cares what he rides around on. - Archie Bunker

I haven't taught people in 50 years what my father taught by example in one week. - Mario Cuomo

My father used to say, "Don't raise your voice. Improve your argument." - Desmond Tutu

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey

My father used to say, "If you want to be different, do something different." - Wynton Marsalis

If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith

You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. - Robert Frost

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved. - Mark Twain

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

My father said there were two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better. - Marlo Thomas

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt