Baby Sitting Animals

Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

The Child is father of the Man. - William Wordsworth

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold

It is a wise father that knows his own child. - William Shakespeare

One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters. - George Herbert

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic. - Spike Milligan

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

My father... one of the great immorals, er, immortals, of our time. - WC Fields

My father was grounded, a very meat-and-potatoes man. He was a baker. - Anthony Hopkins

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

Don't talk about a rope in the house of someone whose father was hung. - Colin Farrell

The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli

My heart is happy, my mind is free.
I had a father who talked with me. - Hilde Bigelow

Necessity may be the mother of invention, but play is certainly the father. - Roger von Oech

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. - Art Linkletter

My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. - Clarence B. Kelland

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher

The Holy Father's newest Encyclacle? Like anyone cares what he rides around on. - Archie Bunker

My father used to say, "Don't raise your voice. Improve your argument." - Desmond Tutu

My father had a piano that was a nickelodeon - put a nickel, and the roller would play. - Frank Sinatra

Middle Age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature. - Harold Coffin

I'm so ugly my father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. - Rodney Dangerfield

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved. - Mark Twain

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years. - Ernest Hemingway

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of the imagination is incalculable. - Carl Jung