Fly in the Toilet

You're beautiful, like a May fly. - Ernest Hemingway

A kite only flies if it's tethered. - Victor Robert Lee

Nothing is made in vain, but the fly came near it. - Mark Twain

You cannot fly like an eagle with the wings of a wren. - William Henry Hudson

Nothing really sets human nature free but self-control. - Paul Bottome

Oh, that sound? I'm in the hot tub, reading a novel. - Jane Smiley

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control. - Steven Wright

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

The higher we soar the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Faith, to my mind, is a stiffening process, a sort of mental starch. - E.M. Forster

Research is the process of going up alleys to see if they are blind. - Marston Bates

The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can. - Jean Kerr

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio. - Rodney Dangerfield

Perfection is not a destination; it's a never-ending process... Enjoy! - Jim Bouchard

If you want to control someone, all you have to do is to make them feel afraid. - Paulo Coelho

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it. - J.M. Barrie

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

Now that I've found the way to fly, which direction should I go into the night? - Ally Condie

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. - Muhammad Ali

The wise man should be prepared for everything that does not lie within his control. - Pythagoras

My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them. - Jack Kerouac

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

Tart words make no friends: A spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar. - Benjamin Franklin

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

The masses are in reality their own leaders, dialectically creating their own development process. - Rosa Luxemburg

The mere process of growing old together will make the slightest acquaintance seem a bosom friend. - Logan P Smith

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

I became hooked on the idea of being able to shoot an image and process it myself, and end up with a product. - Leonard Nimoy

Our memories are card indexes consulted, and then put back in disorder, by authorities whom we do not control. - Cyril Connolly

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
So just what are time flies, and why do they fly like an arrow? - Groucho Marx

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher