Atheist Holiday

U.S. court case sets new Atheist Holiday


In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation of Easter and Passover holidays. He decided to contact his lawyer about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while atheists had no holiday to celebrate.

The case was brought before a wise judge. After listening to the long passionate presentation by the lawyer, the Judge banged his gavel and declared, “Case Dismissed.”

The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, “Your Honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah... yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays.”

The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, “Obviously your client is too confused to even know about, much less celebrate, his own atheists’ holiday!”

The lawyer pompously said, “Your Honor, we are unaware of any such holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be, your Honor?”

The judge said, “Well it comes every year on exactly the same date... April 1st. Since our calendar sets April 1st as “April Fools Day,” consider Psalm 14:1 and Psalm 53 which state, “The fool says in his heart, there is no God.” Thus, in my opinion, if your client says there is no God, then by scripture he is a fool, thus April 1st is his holiday!”


Inner peace achieved through forgiveness - letting go of the past,
and drinking to the future ...

QuotaBills
Necessity hath no law. - Oliver Cromwell

Lord, what fools these mortals be! - William Shakespeare

Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker

The fool wonders, the wise man asks. - Benjamin Disraeli

A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown

Don't judge folks by their relatives. - Unknown

We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is better to be a fool than to be dead. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Any fool can criticize, and many of them do. - Cyril Garbett

A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying

Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing. - Jonathan Swift

Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

That's the spirit - one part brave, three parts fool. - Christopher Paolini

Wise men profit more from fools than fools from wise men. - Cato

In the Halls of Justice, the only justice is in the halls. - Lenny Bruce

Don't judge me by my past. I don't live there anymore. - Unknown

A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown

Wise men learn by other men's mistakes, fools by their own. - H.G. Bohn

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. - Ambrose Bierce

Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis

Love is a word consisting of two vowels, two consonants, and two fools. - Jeff Rovin

The best use of laws is to teach men to trample bad laws under their feet. - Wendell Phillips

A fellow who is always declaring he’s no fool usually has suspicions. - Wilson Miznor

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal. - Erich Fromm

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

Ethics and equity and the principles of justice do not change with the calendar. - D.H. Lawrence

To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt. - Elizabeth C Stanton

Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongue. - Old Testament

If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile

The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools. - Herbert Spencer

The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht

Whatever their other contributions to our society, lawyers could be an important source of protein. - Guindon

We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it. - WC Fields

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. - Robert Frost

The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger

One does not, by knowing all the physical laws as we know them today, immediately obtain an understanding of anything much. - Richard Feynman

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

Anyone who takes it on himself, on his own authority, to break a bad law, thereby authorizes everyone else to break the good ones. - Denis Diderot

A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. - John F Kennedy

One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton

Too many young folk have an addiction to superficial things and not enough conviction for substantial things like justice, truth and love. - Cornel West


see also   Lawyer  &  Religious  Sections
Atheist Nativity Scene
Bible Reference - Emergency Contact Numbers
Center Of The Bible
God’s Little Instructions
Psalm 23
Justice Is Blind
Legal Assistance For All
Legal Exhibit
Psalm 109
Psalm 129
Psalm 404
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

 

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28-May-2018