Atheist Holiday

U.S. court case sets new Atheist Holiday


In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation of Easter and Passover holidays. He decided to contact his lawyer about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while atheists had no holiday to celebrate.

The case was brought before a wise judge. After listening to the long passionate presentation by the lawyer, the Judge banged his gavel and declared, “Case Dismissed.”

The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, “Your Honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah... yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays.”

The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, “Obviously your client is too confused to even know about, much less celebrate, his own atheists’ holiday!”

The lawyer pompously said, “Your Honor, we are unaware of any such holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be, your Honor?”

The judge said, “Well it comes every year on exactly the same date... April 1st. Since our calendar sets April 1st as “April Fools Day,” consider Psalm 14:1 and Psalm 53 which state, “The fool says in his heart, there is no God.” Thus, in my opinion, if your client says there is no God, then by scripture he is a fool, thus April 1st is his holiday!”


Inner peace achieved through forgiveness - letting go of the past,
and drinking to the future ...

QuotaBills
Useless laws weaken necessary laws. - Charles de Secondat

It takes two fools to have an argument. - Unknown

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb

Justice is incidental to law and order. - J Edgar Hoover

OK, if you can get an indepartial judge. - Archie Bunker

Law is order, and good law is good order. - Aristotle

Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

Laws do not persuade just because they threaten. - Seneca

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

It's every man's business to see justice done. - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare

I love fools' experiments. I am always making them. - Charles Darwin

Canada is the homeland of equality, justice and tolerance. - Kim Campbell

People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus

What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man. - Herbert Spencer

A wise man learns by the mistakes of others, a fool by his own. - Latin Proverb

Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius

My photographs don't do me justice – they just look like me. - Phyllis Diller

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made. - Otto von Bismarck

Failure is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of yourself. - Charlie Chaplin

Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

Laws control the lesser man... Right conduct controls the greater one. - Mark Twain

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

The best use of laws is to teach men to trample bad laws under their feet. - Wendell Phillips

A fellow who is always declaring he’s no fool usually has suspicions. - Wilson Miznor

A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions. - Wilson Mizner

I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

Only priests and fools are fearless and I've never been on the best of terms with God. - Patrick Rothfuss

What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they deem it necessary? - Marion Barry

Great men undertake great things because they are great; fools, because they think them easy. - Vauvenargues

If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races. - Homer Simpson

The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools. - Herbert Spencer

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

My imagination makes me human and makes me a fool; it gives me all the world and exiles me from it. - Ursula K. Le Guin

Those who will not reason are bigots, those who cannot are fools, and those who dare not are slaves. - George Gordon

He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don't let that fool you, he really is an idiot. - Groucho Marx

If the misery of the poor be caused not by the laws of nature, but by our institutions, great is our sin. - Charles Darwin

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it. - WC Fields

There is not Communism or Marxism, but representative democracy and social justice in a well-planned economy. - Fidel Castro

Always remember money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense. - Earl Wilson

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin

We discern across the centuries a commanding and versatile intelligence, wielding with equal force the sword of war and of justice. - Winston Churchill

Laws are like spiders' webs which, if anything small falls into them they ensnare it, but large things break through and escape. - Solon

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. - Norm Crosby

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

As a rule man is a fool,
When it's hot he wants it cool,
When it's cool he wants it hot,
Always wanting what is not. - Unknown


see also   Lawyer  &  Religious  Sections
Atheist Nativity Scene
Bible Reference - Emergency Contact Numbers
Center Of The Bible
God’s Little Instructions
Psalm 23
Justice Is Blind
Legal Assistance For All
Legal Exhibit
Psalm 109
Psalm 129
Psalm 404
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

 

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20-Jul-2019