Atheist Holiday

U.S. court case sets new Atheist Holiday


In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation of Easter and Passover holidays. He decided to contact his lawyer about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while atheists had no holiday to celebrate.

The case was brought before a wise judge. After listening to the long passionate presentation by the lawyer, the Judge banged his gavel and declared, “Case Dismissed.”

The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, “Your Honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah... yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays.”

The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, “Obviously your client is too confused to even know about, much less celebrate, his own atheists’ holiday!”

The lawyer pompously said, “Your Honor, we are unaware of any such holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be, your Honor?”

The judge said, “Well it comes every year on exactly the same date... April 1st. Since our calendar sets April 1st as “April Fools Day,” consider Psalm 14:1 and Psalm 53 which state, “The fool says in his heart, there is no God.” Thus, in my opinion, if your client says there is no God, then by scripture he is a fool, thus April 1st is his holiday!”


Inner peace achieved through forgiveness - letting go of the past,
and drinking to the future ...

QuotaBills
Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker

The fool wonders, the wise man asks. - Benjamin Disraeli

A fool and his money are soon partying. - Steven Wright

Don't judge folks by their relatives. - Unknown

We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you want peace, you must work for justice. - Pope Paul VI

Do not judge, and you will never be mistaken. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau

When fate arrives the physician becomes a fool. - Arabic proverb

Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it. - Henry David Thoreau

A genius from nine to five - a fool at the weekends. - Unknown

Wise men don't need advice. Fools don't take it. - Benjamin Franklin

That's the spirit - one part brave, three parts fool. - Christopher Paolini

Wise men profit more from fools than fools from wise men. - Cato

It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. - Oscar Wilde

Who is more foolish? The fool or the fool who follows him? - Obi Wan Kenobi

The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb

Wise people learn when they can.
Fools learn when they must. - Arthur Wellesley Wellington

Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

The sad duty of politics is to establish justice in a sinful world. - Reinhold Niebuhr

So I will say it with relish. Give me a hamburger but hold the lawsuit. - S.I. Hayakawa

A fishing rod is a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other. - Samuel Johnson

The laws of probability - so true in general, so fallacious in particular. - Edward Gibbon

True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people together. - Unknown

The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law. - Aristotle

A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool. - William Shakespeare

Any fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise man to be able to sell it. - Samuel Butler

I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him. - Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

Law enforcement cannot succeed without the sustained, and informed, interest of all citizens. - Lyndon B Johnson

Once in a lifetime the longed-for tidal wave of justice can rise up, and hope and history rhyme. - Seamus Heaney

It never hurts a fool to appear before an audience, for his capacity is not a capacity for feeling. - Dale Breckenridge Carnegie

A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them. - P.J. O'Rourke

If the misery of the poor be caused not by the laws of nature, but by our institutions, great is our sin. - Charles Darwin

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it. - WC Fields

There is not Communism or Marxism, but representative democracy and social justice in a well-planned economy. - Fidel Castro

The judicial system is the most expensive machine ever invented for finding out what happened and what to do about it. - Irving R. Kaufman

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand

Before a man speaks it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks, it is seldom necessary to assume it. - H L Mencken

One does not, by knowing all the physical laws as we know them today, immediately obtain an understanding of anything much. - Richard Feynman

One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton

While there is a lower class, I am in it; while there is a criminal element, I am of it; and while there is a soul in prison, I am not free. - Eugene V Debs

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright


see also   Lawyer  &  Religious  Sections
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20-Aug-2018