A Man Named Fred

So many degrees & so few last names

Does this Dingaling ring a bell?



A cop stops a motorcyclist for traveling faster than the posted speed limit.
So he asks the man his name.

“Fred,” he replies.

“Fred what?” the officer asks.

“Just Fred,” the man responds.
A man named Just Fred

The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name. The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.

“Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?”

The man replies, “It’s a long story, so stay with me.”

“I was born Fred Dingaling. I know - a funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself, studied hard, and got good grades. When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a Doctor! I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Dingaling, MD.”

“After a while I got bored being a Doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS.”

“Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD. So now I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS, with VD. Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Dingaling, MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I am Just Fred.”

The officer walked away in tears, laughing...


QuotaBills
Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. - Steven Wright

College is a refuge from hasty judgment. - Robert Frost

Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown

Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes. - Oscar Wilde

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Besmooch the family name in the eyes of the community. - Archie Bunker

I greet you in the name of peace, democracy, and freedom. - Nelson Mandela

Some men by ancestry are only the shadow of a mighty name. - Etheridge Knight

Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing. - Johnny Depp

The sweetest music in the world to every person is his own name. - Unknown

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

Tigers die and leave their skins; people die and leave their names. - Japanese Proverb

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

I remember your name perfectly; but I just can't think of your face. - William A Spooner

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

To trust agents, hyperlinks are the twenty-first-century equivalent of the name-dropper. - Chris Brogan

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

Message boards are like going to a Halloween masquerade party. Everybody has a screen name. - John Mackey

Obi-Wan Kenobi. Obi-Wan. Now that's a name I have not heard in a long time. A long time. - Obi Wan Kenobi

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

If a young person has any idealism at all, it's strongest about the time he finishes college. - Sargent Shriver

Sayin' grace - it's just thankin' Mother Nature, whose 1st name just happens to be Grace. - Archie Bunker

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

"I am who I am", said God to Moses regarding His name, because none was worth to be compared to His godhead. - Toba Beta

Forgiving and being forgiven are two names for the same thing. The important thing is that a discord has been resolved. - C S Lewis

Until Facebook came along, there was hardly anywhere on the public Internet where you had to operate with your real name. - David Kirkpatrick

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen


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25-Sep-2017