A Man Named Fred

So many degrees & so few last names

Does this Dingaling ring a bell?



A cop stops a motorcyclist for traveling faster than the posted speed limit.
So he asks the man his name.

“Fred,” he replies.

“Fred what?” the officer asks.

“Just Fred,” the man responds.
A man named Just Fred

The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name. The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.

“Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?”

The man replies, “It’s a long story, so stay with me.”

“I was born Fred Dingaling. I know - a funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself, studied hard, and got good grades. When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a Doctor! I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Dingaling, MD.”

“After a while I got bored being a Doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS.”

“Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD. So now I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS, with VD. Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Dingaling, MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I am Just Fred.”

The officer walked away in tears, laughing...


QuotaBills
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Love is the silent saying and saying of a single name. - Mignon McLaughlin

When they go besmearing the name of a great linebacker. - Archie Bunker

I greet you in the name of peace, democracy, and freedom. - Nelson Mandela

All my life, my heart has yearned for a thing I cannot name. - Andre Breton

Experience is the name so many people give to their mistakes. - Oscar Wilde

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame. - Kohta Hirano

Be kind to your dentist because he has "fillings" too. - Unknown

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

Every success is usually an admission ticket to a new set of decisions. - Henry Kissinger

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. - Red Skelton

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

The sign said "eight items or less." So I changed my name to Les. - Steven Wright

I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back. - Steven Wright

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley

The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness. - Robert M. Hutchins

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

All are inclined to believe that they covet, from a lottery ticket up to a passport to Paradise. - Lord Byron

If a young person has any idealism at all, it's strongest about the time he finishes college. - Sargent Shriver

Conscience and cowardice are really the same things. Conscience is the trade-name of the firm. That is all. - Oscar Wilde

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love. - Margaret Atwood

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

Forgiving and being forgiven are two names for the same thing. The important thing is that a discord has been resolved. - C S Lewis

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Until Facebook came along, there was hardly anywhere on the public Internet where you had to operate with your real name. - David Kirkpatrick

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield


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22-Nov-2017