A Man Named Fred

So many degrees & so few last names

Does this Dingaling ring a bell?



A cop stops a motorcyclist for traveling faster than the posted speed limit.
So he asks the man his name.

“Fred,” he replies.

“Fred what?” the officer asks.

“Just Fred,” the man responds.
A man named Just Fred

The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name. The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.

“Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?”

The man replies, “It’s a long story, so stay with me.”

“I was born Fred Dingaling. I know - a funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself, studied hard, and got good grades. When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a Doctor! I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Dingaling, MD.”

“After a while I got bored being a Doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS.”

“Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD. So now I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS, with VD. Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Dingaling, MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I am Just Fred.”

The officer walked away in tears, laughing...


QuotaBills
Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

We've got a name for sushi in Georgia... bait. - Blake Clark

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much. - Evan Esar

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. - Mark Twain

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

Tigers die and leave their skins; people die and leave their names. - Japanese Proverb

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

Yancy is actually a Native-American name, but I'm Irish. Go figure. - Yancy Butler

If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

A sign of celebrity is that his name is often worth more than his services. - Daniel J. Boorstin

If I could remember the names of all these particles I'd be a botanist. - Enrico Fermi

I don't care what you say about me. Just be sure to spell my name wrong. - Barbra Streisand

I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back. - Steven Wright

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano. - Bob Hope

Obi-Wan Kenobi. Obi-Wan. Now that's a name I have not heard in a long time. A long time. - Obi Wan Kenobi

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

Conscience and cowardice are really the same things. Conscience is the trade-name of the firm. That is all. - Oscar Wilde

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

You always buy familiar names, the ones you recognize; that's why the adman always claims it pays to advertise. - Unknown

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

William Hurt has a painful last name. Kevin Love has a name perfect for February 14th. But what about Johnny Longdong? Where does he fit? - Jarod Kintz

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen


see also   Doctor,  Motorcycle  &  Police  Sections

 

Redneck Seafood Dinner

Emergency Bridge Repair Team

Balanced Meal

Canadian Car Crash

Florida Car Alarm

Dog Lookout

India Road Assistance

ZipHer

Samurai Sudoku Puzzles C

Lucky Calf

Moose Camouflage

Nail Polish Lookalilikes

Douglas Fir Log Home

Nutcracker Suite - Chinese Version

Clever Weather Billboard

Street Cheerleader

I'm So Old

Ear Chip

Big Basketball Fan

Dog Named Salesman
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

21-Apr-2018