A Man Named Fred

So many degrees & so few last names

Does this Dingaling ring a bell?



A cop stops a motorcyclist for traveling faster than the posted speed limit.
So he asks the man his name.

“Fred,” he replies.

“Fred what?” the officer asks.

“Just Fred,” the man responds.
A man named Just Fred

The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name. The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.

“Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?”

The man replies, “It’s a long story, so stay with me.”

“I was born Fred Dingaling. I know - a funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself, studied hard, and got good grades. When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a Doctor! I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Dingaling, MD.”

“After a while I got bored being a Doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS.”

“Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD. So now I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS, with VD. Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Dingaling, MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I am Just Fred.”

The officer walked away in tears, laughing...


QuotaBills
99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. - Steven Wright

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? - Steven Wright

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much. - Evan Esar

I've won at every level, except college and pro. - Shaquille O'Neal

The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

Some men by ancestry are only the shadow of a mighty name. - Etheridge Knight

Experience is the name so many people give to their mistakes. - Oscar Wilde

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame. - Kohta Hirano

You're not a star until they can spell your name in Karachi. - Humphrey Bogart

Be kind to your dentist because he has "fillings" too. - Unknown

The name of a man is a numbing blow from which he never recovers. - Marshall McLuhan

Tigers die and leave their skins; people die and leave their names. - Japanese Proverb

Yancy is actually a Native-American name, but I'm Irish. Go figure. - Yancy Butler

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

A sign of celebrity is that his name is often worth more than his services. - Daniel J. Boorstin

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

To trust agents, hyperlinks are the twenty-first-century equivalent of the name-dropper. - Chris Brogan

A physician buries his mistakes, a dentist pulls them out, but a teacher has to live with them. - Unknown

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

To the person with a toothache, even if the world is tottering, there is nothing more important than a visit to a dentist. - George Bernard Shaw

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down. - George Burns

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer. - Corrie Ten Boom

I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen


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21-Feb-2018