A Man Named Fred

So many degrees & so few last names

Does this Dingaling ring a bell?



A cop stops a motorcyclist for traveling faster than the posted speed limit.
So he asks the man his name.

“Fred,” he replies.

“Fred what?” the officer asks.

“Just Fred,” the man responds.
A man named Just Fred

The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name. The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.

“Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?”

The man replies, “It’s a long story, so stay with me.”

“I was born Fred Dingaling. I know - a funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself, studied hard, and got good grades. When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a Doctor! I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Dingaling, MD.”

“After a while I got bored being a Doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS.”

“Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD. So now I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS, with VD. Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Dingaling, MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I am Just Fred.”

The officer walked away in tears, laughing...


QuotaBills
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain

We've got a name for sushi in Georgia... bait. - Blake Clark

A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much. - Evan Esar

Life is for one generation. A good name is forever. - Japanese proverb

Some men by ancestry are only the shadow of a mighty name. - Etheridge Knight

A college education shows a man how little other people know. - T.C. Hailburton

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth. - George D. Prentice

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

Yancy is actually a Native-American name, but I'm Irish. Go figure. - Yancy Butler

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

Murdered by a traitor and a coward whose name is not worthy to appear here. - Jesse James

A sign of celebrity is that his name is often worth more than his services. - Daniel J. Boorstin

I don't care what you say about me. Just be sure to spell my name wrong. - Barbra Streisand

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

I get called all these horrible names by Lindsey Graham, who I don't even know. - Donald Trump

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentist's drill. - Leonard Woolf

The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness. - Robert M. Hutchins

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. - Bill Vaughan

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Sayin' grace - it's just thankin' Mother Nature, whose 1st name just happens to be Grace. - Archie Bunker

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson

Conscience and cowardice are really the same things. Conscience is the trade-name of the firm. That is all. - Oscar Wilde

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Until Facebook came along, there was hardly anywhere on the public Internet where you had to operate with your real name. - David Kirkpatrick

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

She knows that feeling too. Of believing that each time someone says her name, it’s to tell her that something bad has happened. - Melina Marchetta


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29-May-2017