A Man Named Fred

So many degrees & so few last names

Does this Dingaling ring a bell?



A cop stops a motorcyclist for traveling faster than the posted speed limit.
So he asks the man his name.

“Fred,” he replies.

“Fred what?” the officer asks.

“Just Fred,” the man responds.
A man named Just Fred

The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name. The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.

“Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?”

The man replies, “It’s a long story, so stay with me.”

“I was born Fred Dingaling. I know - a funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself, studied hard, and got good grades. When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a Doctor! I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Dingaling, MD.”

“After a while I got bored being a Doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS.”

“Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD. So now I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS, with VD. Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Dingaling, MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took away my Dingaling, so now I am Just Fred.”

The officer walked away in tears, laughing...


QuotaBills
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? - Steven Wright

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

We've got a name for sushi in Georgia... bait. - Blake Clark

Life is for one generation. A good name is forever. - Japanese proverb

Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP. - Joe Namath

When they go besmearing the name of a great linebacker. - Archie Bunker

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

He has a woman's name and wears makeup. How original. - Alice Cooper

The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names. - Chinese Proverb

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name. - Milton Berle

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth. - George D. Prentice

The name of a man is a numbing blow from which he never recovers. - Marshall McLuhan

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

In the name of God, stop a moment, cease your work, look around you. - Leo Tolstoy

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

Every success is usually an admission ticket to a new set of decisions. - Henry Kissinger

If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

Ginger Rogers did everything that Fred Astaire did, backwards and on high heels. - Unknown

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

To trust agents, hyperlinks are the twenty-first-century equivalent of the name-dropper. - Chris Brogan

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce

If a young person has any idealism at all, it's strongest about the time he finishes college. - Sargent Shriver

Sayin' grace - it's just thankin' Mother Nature, whose 1st name just happens to be Grace. - Archie Bunker

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

"I am who I am", said God to Moses regarding His name, because none was worth to be compared to His godhead. - Toba Beta

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down. - George Burns

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular. - Jay Leno

She knows that feeling too. Of believing that each time someone says her name, it’s to tell her that something bad has happened. - Melina Marchetta


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21-Jul-2017