Father Sayings for Father’s Day

Ever heard your father say any of these gems?


A little dirt never hurt anyone, just wipe it off.
Act your age.
Always say please and thank you - that way, you get more.
Am I talking to a brick wall?
As long as you live under my roof, you’ll live by my rules.

Big boys don’t cry.

C’mon, you throw like a girl.
Coffee will stunt your growth.
Could those sleeves be any longer?

Didn’t your teacher learn you anything?
Do what I say, not what I do.
Do you think I’m made of money?
Don’t ask me, ask your mother.
Don’t believe anything you hear and only half of what you see.
Don’t give me any of your lip, young lady.
Don’t make me stop the car!
Don’t tell on anybody unless you tell on yourself first.
Don’t use that tone with me!
Don’t worry. It’s only blood.
Don’t you know any normal boys?

Enough is enough!

Get your elbows off the table.

Hey, did you hear me talking to you?
“Hey” is for horses.
Hurt much?

I didn’t feel a thing.
I don’t care what other people are doing - I’m not everybody else’s father!
I feel for you, but I can’t reach you from here.
I got my tongue wrapped around my eye-tooth and couldn’t see what I was saying.
I told you, keep your eye on the ball.
If I catch you doing that one more time, I’ll...
If I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.
If you’re gonna be dumb, you’ve gotta be tough.
If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times.
If you forget, you’ll be grounded till the end of the world.
I’ll play catch after I read the paper.
I’ll tell you why. Because I said so. That’s why.
I’m not just talking to hear my own voice!
I’m not sleeping, I was watching that channel.
I’m not watching television. I’m resting my eyes.
It’s hard to be good, and easy to be bad.

Just wait on the corner and another one will come along.

Men are like buses.

No, we’re not there yet.
Now you listen to ME, Buster!

Shake it off. It’s only pain.
Sit up straight!
So you think you’re smart, do you?

This is your last warning.
This will hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.
Turn off those lights.
Two wrongs do not make a right.

We’re not lost. I’m just not sure where we are.
Were you raised in a barn? Close the door.
What did I just get finished telling you?
What do you think I am, a bank?
What keeps those jeans of yours from falling off?
What part of NO don’t you understand?
What will other parents think?
What’s so funny?
When I was your age , I treated MY father with respect.
Who said life was supposed to be fair?
Wipe that smile off your face.
Wipe your feet!
Worrying about things you can’t change is like a rocking chair - it gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.

You call that a haircut?
You call that noise “music”?
You can marry a rich guy just as easily as you can a poor guy.
You didn’t beat me. I let you win.
You know you’re always gonna be Daddy’s little girl.
You look like a bag lady!
You should visit more often.
You want something to do? I’ll give you something to do.
Young ladies perspire, they do not sweat.
You’re not leaving my house dressed like that!
Your mother worries too much.


QuotaBills
Directly after God in heaven comes a Papa. - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

It is a wise father that knows his own child. - William Shakespeare

A proverb is a wise saying, old yet radiant with novelty. - Erasmus

Being a Dad is the greatest, except for assembling things. - Conan O'Brien

Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said. - Mel Brooks

Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!" - Robin Williams

My father... one of the great immorals, er, immortals, of our time. - WC Fields

Every child needs a father. Even if he turns out to be Darth Vader. - Jackson Radcliffe

My father was grounded, a very meat-and-potatoes man. He was a baker. - Anthony Hopkins

Saying no to something is actually much more powerful than saying yes. - Tom Hanks

Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! - Lydia Child

The art of leadership is saying no, not yes. It is very easy to say yes. - Tony Blair

My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. - Clarence B. Kelland

The Holy Father's newest Encyclacle? Like anyone cares what he rides around on. - Archie Bunker

Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid. - Walter Winchell

For me, there's a kind of absolute power to saying the opposite of what you feel. - Sarah Silverman

I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander

Middle Age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature. - Harold Coffin

I'm so ugly my father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. - Rodney Dangerfield

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

One of the most important things a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Ray Chenoweth

I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. - Mark Twain

I definitely want my son Brooklyn christened, but I don't know into what religion yet. - David Beckham

My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government - he promised Dad he'd go straight. - John F Kennedy

If you keep on saying things are going to be bad, you have a good chance of being a prophet. - Isaac B. Singer

That's what Abel was saying when he got it in the back from his own brother with a cane. - Archie Bunker

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you. - Groucho Marx

Failure is God's way of saying, "Excuse me, you're moving in the wrong direction." - Oprah

There's an old saying about those who forget history. I don't remember it, but it's good. - Stephen Colbert

I want to die like my father; peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers. - Bob Monkhouse

Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless. - Homer Simpson

Having a positive mental attitude is asking how something can be done rather than saying it can't be done. - Bo Bennett

Yes and No are very short words to say, but we should think for some length of time before saying them. - Unknown

There's a saying among prospectors: "Go out looking for one thing and that's all you'll ever find." - Robert J. Flaherty

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

The first minute we get something beautiful going you got a way of saying things that just, I dunno, breaks the whole spill. - Archie Bunker

I was Ashallayn’darkmyr Tallyn, son of Mab, former prince of the Unseelie Court, and I was not afraid of a witch on a broom. - Julie Kagawa

My father was a baker and a lot of people do what their families did and I could have done that but I wanted to stay in show business. - Christopher Walken

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Chutzpa is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. - Leo Rosten


see also   Quote  Section
Father’s Day Selfie
Fatherly Advice
Ways to say “Dad” in Different Languages

 

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17-Aug-2017