A little dirt never hurt anyone, just wipe it off.
Act your age.
Always say please and thank you - that way, you get more.
Am I talking to a brick wall?
As long as you live under my roof, you’ll live by my rules.
Big boys don’t cry.
C’mon, you throw like a girl.
Coffee will stunt your growth.
Could those sleeves be any longer?
Didn’t your teacher learn you anything?
Do what I say, not what I do.
Do you think I’m made of money?
Don’t ask me, ask your mother.
Don’t believe anything you hear and only half of what you see.
Don’t give me any of your lip, young lady.
Don’t make me stop the car!
Don’t tell on anybody unless you tell on yourself first.
Don’t use that tone with me!
Don’t worry. It’s only blood.
Don’t you know any normal boys?
Enough is enough!
Get your elbows off the table.
Hey, did you hear me talking to you?
“Hey” is for horses.
I didn’t feel a thing.
I don’t care what other people are doing - I’m not everybody else’s father!
I feel for you, but I can’t reach you from here.
I got my tongue wrapped around my eye-tooth and couldn’t see what I was saying.
I told you, keep your eye on the ball.
If I catch you doing that one more time, I’ll...
If I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.
If you’re gonna be dumb, you’ve gotta be tough.
If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times.
If you forget, you’ll be grounded till the end of the world.
I’ll play catch after I read the paper.
I’ll tell you why. Because I said so. That’s why.
I’m not just talking to hear my own voice!
I’m not sleeping, I was watching that channel.
I’m not watching television. I’m resting my eyes.
It’s hard to be good, and easy to be bad.
Just wait on the corner and another one will come along.
Men are like buses.
No, we’re not there yet.
Now you listen to ME, Buster!
Shake it off. It’s only pain.
Sit up straight!
So you think you’re smart, do you?
This is your last warning.
This will hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.
Turn off those lights.
Two wrongs do not make a right.
We’re not lost. I’m just not sure where we are.
Were you raised in a barn? Close the door.
What did I just get finished telling you?
What do you think I am, a bank?
What keeps those jeans of yours from falling off?
What part of NO don’t you understand?
What will other parents think?
What’s so funny?
When I was your age , I treated MY father with respect.
Who said life was supposed to be fair?
Wipe that smile off your face.
Wipe your feet!
Worrying about things you can’t change is like a rocking chair - it gives you
something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.
You call that a haircut?
You call that noise “music”?
You can marry a rich guy just as easily as you can a poor guy.
You didn’t beat me. I let you win.
You know you’re always gonna be Daddy’s little girl.
You look like a bag lady!
You should visit more often.
You want something to do? I’ll give you something to do.
Young ladies perspire, they do not sweat.
You’re not leaving my house dressed like that!
Your mother worries too much.
A father is a banker provided by nature. - French Proverb
Good sayings are like pearls strung together. - Chinese Proverb
It is a wise father that knows his own child. - William Shakespeare
If a thing isn't worth saying, you sing it. - Pierre Beaumarchais
Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown
My dad's Irish music was such a huge influence. - Dido Armstrong
My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic. - Spike Milligan
Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!" - Robin Williams
My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings. - Jay London
Death is nature's way of saying, "Your table is ready." - Robin Williams
Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! - Lydia Child
The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - John Wooden
Those who slew my father I drove into exile... and defeated them in battle. - Augustus
They invented hugs to let people know you love them without saying anything. - Bill Keane
No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown
Ever hear of the old saying, "grass don't grow on a busy street?" - Archie Bunker
The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. - Mark Twain
My father used to say, "Don't raise your voice. Improve your argument." - Desmond Tutu
For me, there's a kind of absolute power to saying the opposite of what you feel. - Sarah Silverman
Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams
My father had a piano that was a nickelodeon - put a nickel, and the roller would play. - Frank Sinatra
I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke
One of the most important things a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Ray Chenoweth
You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. - Robert Frost
Don't criticize what you don't understand, son. You never walked in that man's shoes. - Elvis Presley
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. - Mark Twain
That he delights in the misery of others no man will confess, and yet what other motive can make a father cruel? - Joseph Addison
We dream to give ourselves hope. To stop dreaming - well, that's like saying you can never change your fate. - Amy Tan
If you find yourself saying, "But I can't speak English...", try adding the word "... yet". - Jane Revell
Yes and No are very short words to say, but we should think for some length of time before saying them. - Unknown
I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson
There's a saying among prospectors: "Go out looking for one thing and that's all you'll ever find." - Robert J. Flaherty
I'm not saying I'm gonna change the world, but I guarantee that I will spark the brain that will change the world. - Tupac Shakur
To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years. - Ernest Hemingway
I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying "flee at once - all is discovered." They all left town immediately. - Mark Twain
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown
My father was a baker and a lot of people do what their families did and I could have done that but I wanted to stay in show business. - Christopher Walken
My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle
Half the world is composed of those who have something to say but can't; the other half is of those who have nothing to say and keep on saying it. - Robert Frost
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