A little dirt never hurt anyone, just wipe it off.
Act your age.
Always say please and thank you - that way, you get more.
Am I talking to a brick wall?
As long as you live under my roof, you’ll live by my rules.
Big boys don’t cry.
C’mon, you throw like a girl.
Coffee will stunt your growth.
Could those sleeves be any longer?
Didn’t your teacher learn you anything?
Do what I say, not what I do.
Do you think I’m made of money?
Don’t ask me, ask your mother.
Don’t believe anything you hear and only half of what you see.
Don’t give me any of your lip, young lady.
Don’t make me stop the car!
Don’t tell on anybody unless you tell on yourself first.
Don’t use that tone with me!
Don’t worry. It’s only blood.
Don’t you know any normal boys?
Enough is enough!
Get your elbows off the table.
Hey, did you hear me talking to you?
“Hey” is for horses.
I didn’t feel a thing.
I don’t care what other people are doing - I’m not everybody else’s father!
I feel for you, but I can’t reach you from here.
I got my tongue wrapped around my eye-tooth and couldn’t see what I was saying.
I told you, keep your eye on the ball.
If I catch you doing that one more time, I’ll...
If I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.
If you’re gonna be dumb, you’ve gotta be tough.
If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times.
If you forget, you’ll be grounded till the end of the world.
I’ll play catch after I read the paper.
I’ll tell you why. Because I said so. That’s why.
I’m not just talking to hear my own voice!
I’m not sleeping, I was watching that channel.
I’m not watching television. I’m resting my eyes.
It’s hard to be good, and easy to be bad.
Just wait on the corner and another one will come along.
Men are like buses.
No, we’re not there yet.
Now you listen to ME, Buster!
Shake it off. It’s only pain.
Sit up straight!
So you think you’re smart, do you?
This is your last warning.
This will hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.
Turn off those lights.
Two wrongs do not make a right.
We’re not lost. I’m just not sure where we are.
Were you raised in a barn? Close the door.
What did I just get finished telling you?
What do you think I am, a bank?
What keeps those jeans of yours from falling off?
What part of NO don’t you understand?
What will other parents think?
What’s so funny?
When I was your age , I treated MY father with respect.
Who said life was supposed to be fair?
Wipe that smile off your face.
Wipe your feet!
Worrying about things you can’t change is like a rocking chair - it gives you
something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.
You call that a haircut?
You call that noise “music”?
You can marry a rich guy just as easily as you can a poor guy.
You didn’t beat me. I let you win.
You know you’re always gonna be Daddy’s little girl.
You look like a bag lady!
You should visit more often.
You want something to do? I’ll give you something to do.
Young ladies perspire, they do not sweat.
You’re not leaving my house dressed like that!
Your mother worries too much.
A witty saying proves nothing. - Voltaire
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted. - Groucho Marx
He wants his son to follow in his footprints. - Archie Bunker
My dad's Irish music was such a huge influence. - Dido Armstrong
The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get. - Tim Russert
I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. - Oedipus Rex
Every child needs a father. Even if he turns out to be Darth Vader. - Jackson Radcliffe
My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings. - Jay London
My father was grounded, a very meat-and-potatoes man. He was a baker. - Anthony Hopkins
Death is nature's way of saying, "Your table is ready." - Robin Williams
A picture is worth a thousand words, but try saying that with a picture. - Unknown
The art of leadership is saying no, not yes. It is very easy to say yes. - Tony Blair
The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - John Wooden
The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli
I phoned my Dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter. - Steven Pearl
Almost every wise saying has an opposite one, no less wise, to balance it. - George Santayana
Giving your son a skill is better than giving him one thousand pieces of gold. - Chinese Proverb
A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life. - Unknown
Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams
Middle Age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature. - Harold Coffin
I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke
I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. - Mark Twain
I definitely want my son Brooklyn christened, but I don't know into what religion yet. - David Beckham
You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you. - Groucho Marx
A lot of what passes for depression these days is nothing more than a body saying that it needs work. - Geoffrey Norman
He made us all one true religion, Edith, which he named after his son, Christian - or Christ, for short. - Archie Bunker
One-half the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough. - Josh Billings
I blend my green drink every morning. I also fix my son a full-on American breakfast with bacon and toast. - Liz Phair
What's a good investment? Go home from work early and spend the afternoon throwing a ball around with your son. - Ben Stein
If you find yourself saying, "But I can't speak English...", try adding the word "... yet". - Jane Revell
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. - Rodney Dangerfield
The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker
When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as Catch-22 I'm tempted to reply, "Who has?" - Joseph Heller
In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar
To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years. - Ernest Hemingway
My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle
I once said to my father, when I was a boy, 'Dad we need a third political party.' He said to me, 'I'll settle for a second.' - Ralph Nader
Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Lord Francis Bacon
I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo
Style is that which indicates how the writer takes himself and what he is saying. It is the mind skating circles around itself as it moves forward. - Robert Frost
Father’s Day Selfie
I Love Dad
“Must Have” Power Drill
Ways to say “Dad” in Different Languages
Walking His Fresh Food Pet
Japanese Tea Bath
Pilot Prop Job
Front To Side View
Moses' USB Tablets
Is Laughter The Best Medicine?
Plastered Wall Plasterer
Cowboy Bubble Bath
Don't Be A Stick In The Mud
Redneck Hitch Attachment
Window Fall Repair