A little dirt never hurt anyone, just wipe it off.
Act your age.
Always say please and thank you - that way, you get more.
Am I talking to a brick wall?
As long as you live under my roof, you’ll live by my rules.
Big boys don’t cry.
C’mon, you throw like a girl.
Coffee will stunt your growth.
Could those sleeves be any longer?
Didn’t your teacher learn you anything?
Do what I say, not what I do.
Do you think I’m made of money?
Don’t ask me, ask your mother.
Don’t believe anything you hear and only half of what you see.
Don’t give me any of your lip, young lady.
Don’t make me stop the car!
Don’t tell on anybody unless you tell on yourself first.
Don’t use that tone with me!
Don’t worry. It’s only blood.
Don’t you know any normal boys?
Enough is enough!
Get your elbows off the table.
Hey, did you hear me talking to you?
“Hey” is for horses.
I didn’t feel a thing.
I don’t care what other people are doing - I’m not everybody else’s father!
I feel for you, but I can’t reach you from here.
I got my tongue wrapped around my eye-tooth and couldn’t see what I was saying.
I told you, keep your eye on the ball.
If I catch you doing that one more time, I’ll...
If I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.
If you’re gonna be dumb, you’ve gotta be tough.
If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times.
If you forget, you’ll be grounded till the end of the world.
I’ll play catch after I read the paper.
I’ll tell you why. Because I said so. That’s why.
I’m not just talking to hear my own voice!
I’m not sleeping, I was watching that channel.
I’m not watching television. I’m resting my eyes.
It’s hard to be good, and easy to be bad.
Just wait on the corner and another one will come along.
Men are like buses.
No, we’re not there yet.
Now you listen to ME, Buster!
Shake it off. It’s only pain.
Sit up straight!
So you think you’re smart, do you?
This is your last warning.
This will hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.
Turn off those lights.
Two wrongs do not make a right.
We’re not lost. I’m just not sure where we are.
Were you raised in a barn? Close the door.
What did I just get finished telling you?
What do you think I am, a bank?
What keeps those jeans of yours from falling off?
What part of NO don’t you understand?
What will other parents think?
What’s so funny?
When I was your age , I treated MY father with respect.
Who said life was supposed to be fair?
Wipe that smile off your face.
Wipe your feet!
Worrying about things you can’t change is like a rocking chair - it gives you
something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.
You call that a haircut?
You call that noise “music”?
You can marry a rich guy just as easily as you can a poor guy.
You didn’t beat me. I let you win.
You know you’re always gonna be Daddy’s little girl.
You look like a bag lady!
You should visit more often.
You want something to do? I’ll give you something to do.
Young ladies perspire, they do not sweat.
You’re not leaving my house dressed like that!
Your mother worries too much.
No. I am your Father. - Darth Vader
Everyone is the son of his own works. - Miguel de Cervantes
Directly after God in heaven comes a Papa. - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
Good sayings are like pearls strung together. - Chinese Proverb
Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown
Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said. - Mel Brooks
The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' - Kinky Friedman
Death is nature's way of saying, "Your table is ready." - Robin Williams
A picture is worth a thousand words, but try saying that with a picture. - Unknown
The art of leadership is saying no, not yes. It is very easy to say yes. - Tony Blair
The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli
Those who slew my father I drove into exile... and defeated them in battle. - Augustus
They invented hugs to let people know you love them without saying anything. - Bill Keane
Giving your son a skill is better than giving him one thousand pieces of gold. - Chinese Proverb
No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown
There is nothing wrong with having nothing to say - unless you insist on saying it. - Unknown
Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid. - Walter Winchell
My father used to say, "Don't raise your voice. Improve your argument." - Desmond Tutu
For me, there's a kind of absolute power to saying the opposite of what you feel. - Sarah Silverman
Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams
My father had a piano that was a nickelodeon - put a nickel, and the roller would play. - Frank Sinatra
There's an old saying, "Ya don't keep runnin' after you catch the bus." - Archie Bunker
The most important thing my father taught me is that every man has to stand up for his rights. - Ziggy Marley
You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you. - Groucho Marx
A lot of what passes for depression these days is nothing more than a body saying that it needs work. - Geoffrey Norman
There's an old saying in Hollywood: It's not the length of your film, it's how you use it. - Ben Stiller
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. - WC Fields
Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless. - Homer Simpson
That he delights in the misery of others no man will confess, and yet what other motive can make a father cruel? - Joseph Addison
Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. - Matthew 5:14-16
When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as Catch-22 I'm tempted to reply, "Who has?" - Joseph Heller
In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar
To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years. - Ernest Hemingway
I was Ashallayn’darkmyr Tallyn, son of Mab, former prince of the Unseelie Court, and I was not afraid of a witch on a broom. - Julie Kagawa
My father was a baker and a lot of people do what their families did and I could have done that but I wanted to stay in show business. - Christopher Walken
God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believed in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. - John 3:16
When I was nine, my father said 'You can take piano lessons or do karate' - I had a black belt and was competing before I was 19. - Elodie Yung
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller
Chutzpa is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. - Leo Rosten
Father’s Day Selfie
I Love Dad
“Must Have” Power Drill
Ways to say “Dad” in Different Languages
Pizza Air's Inaugural Delivery
Mechanic's Work Table
I Don't Have Mushroom
Texas Peace Sign
Letting Your Hair Down
Everything Is OK
Zipper Scar Tattoo
Swiss Army Mega Tools
Law of Emotion
Eiffel Tower Modifications
Star Wars Episode VIII