A little dirt never hurt anyone, just wipe it off.
Act your age.
Always say please and thank you - that way, you get more.
Am I talking to a brick wall?
As long as you live under my roof, you’ll live by my rules.
Big boys don’t cry.
C’mon, you throw like a girl.
Coffee will stunt your growth.
Could those sleeves be any longer?
Didn’t your teacher learn you anything?
Do what I say, not what I do.
Do you think I’m made of money?
Don’t ask me, ask your mother.
Don’t believe anything you hear and only half of what you see.
Don’t give me any of your lip, young lady.
Don’t make me stop the car!
Don’t tell on anybody unless you tell on yourself first.
Don’t use that tone with me!
Don’t worry. It’s only blood.
Don’t you know any normal boys?
Enough is enough!
Get your elbows off the table.
Hey, did you hear me talking to you?
“Hey” is for horses.
I didn’t feel a thing.
I don’t care what other people are doing - I’m not everybody else’s father!
I feel for you, but I can’t reach you from here.
I got my tongue wrapped around my eye-tooth and couldn’t see what I was saying.
I told you, keep your eye on the ball.
If I catch you doing that one more time, I’ll...
If I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.
If you’re gonna be dumb, you’ve gotta be tough.
If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times.
If you forget, you’ll be grounded till the end of the world.
I’ll play catch after I read the paper.
I’ll tell you why. Because I said so. That’s why.
I’m not just talking to hear my own voice!
I’m not sleeping, I was watching that channel.
I’m not watching television. I’m resting my eyes.
It’s hard to be good, and easy to be bad.
Just wait on the corner and another one will come along.
Men are like buses.
No, we’re not there yet.
Now you listen to ME, Buster!
Shake it off. It’s only pain.
Sit up straight!
So you think you’re smart, do you?
This is your last warning.
This will hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.
Turn off those lights.
Two wrongs do not make a right.
We’re not lost. I’m just not sure where we are.
Were you raised in a barn? Close the door.
What did I just get finished telling you?
What do you think I am, a bank?
What keeps those jeans of yours from falling off?
What part of NO don’t you understand?
What will other parents think?
What’s so funny?
When I was your age , I treated MY father with respect.
Who said life was supposed to be fair?
Wipe that smile off your face.
Wipe your feet!
Worrying about things you can’t change is like a rocking chair - it gives you
something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.
You call that a haircut?
You call that noise “music”?
You can marry a rich guy just as easily as you can a poor guy.
You didn’t beat me. I let you win.
You know you’re always gonna be Daddy’s little girl.
You look like a bag lady!
You should visit more often.
You want something to do? I’ll give you something to do.
Young ladies perspire, they do not sweat.
You’re not leaving my house dressed like that!
Your mother worries too much.
No. I am your Father. - Darth Vader
The Child is father of the Man. - William Wordsworth
Never lose a chance of saying a kind word. - William Thackeray
Geologists have a saying - rocks remember. - Neil Armstrong
It is a wise father that knows his own child. - William Shakespeare
Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. - Luke 23:24
Love is the silent saying and saying of a single name. - Mignon McLaughlin
My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic. - Spike Milligan
Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!" - Robin Williams
She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx
Every child needs a father. Even if he turns out to be Darth Vader. - Jackson Radcliffe
My father was grounded, a very meat-and-potatoes man. He was a baker. - Anthony Hopkins
The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli
My heart is happy, my mind is free.
I had a father who talked with me. - Hilde Bigelow
Necessity may be the mother of invention, but play is certainly the father. - Roger von Oech
The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher
Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. - Mark Twain
A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life. - Unknown
Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid. - Walter Winchell
I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke
One of the most important things a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Ray Chenoweth
If you keep on saying things are going to be bad, you have a good chance of being a prophet. - Isaac B. Singer
I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail
A lot of what passes for depression these days is nothing more than a body saying that it needs work. - Geoffrey Norman
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. - Mark Twain
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. - WC Fields
He made us all one true religion, Edith, which he named after his son, Christian - or Christ, for short. - Archie Bunker
The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell
That he delights in the misery of others no man will confess, and yet what other motive can make a father cruel? - Joseph Addison
We dream to give ourselves hope. To stop dreaming - well, that's like saying you can never change your fate. - Amy Tan
What's a good investment? Go home from work early and spend the afternoon throwing a ball around with your son. - Ben Stein
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. - Rodney Dangerfield
I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying "flee at once - all is discovered." They all left town immediately. - Mark Twain
My father said there were two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better. - Marlo Thomas
God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believed in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. - John 3:16
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield
I once said to my father, when I was a boy, 'Dad we need a third political party.' He said to me, 'I'll settle for a second.' - Ralph Nader
I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo
Half the world is composed of those who have something to say but can't; the other half is of those who have nothing to say and keep on saying it. - Robert Frost
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