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Dear Abby Joe-ks
Keeping up with the latest in family relationships

Dear Abby,
I am a crack dealer in Toronto, Ontario who has a steady flow of customers from the nearby junior high school. My parents live in a suburb of Brantford, and one of my sisters, who lives in Calgary, is married to a transvestite.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Barrie.

I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Orillia for the murder of a teenage boy in 1996. The other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in New Brunswick and is still a part-time “working girl” in a brothel.

All things considered, my main problem is this: I love my fiancée and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin, who is a Leaf fan?

Signed,
Worried About My Reputation



Dear Abby:
A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I’ve never seen a man go into their apartment or come out. Do you think they could be Lebanese?

Dear Abby:
What can I do about all the sex, nudity, language and violence on my VCR?

Dear Abby:
I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much I’m not even sure this baby I’m carrying is his.

Dear Abby:
I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It’s getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don’t know him well enough to discuss money with him.

Dear Abby:
I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and when I confronted him with the evidence he denied everything and said it would never happen again.

Dear Abby:
Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a Good Christian home turn against his own?

Dear Abby:
I joined the Navy to see the world. I’ve seen it. Now, how do I get out?

Dear Abby:
My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an hour every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy.

Dear Abby:
I was married to Bill for three months and I didn’t know he drank until one night he came home sober.

Dear Abby:
Do you think it would be all right if I gave my doctor a little gift? I tried for years to get pregnant and couldn’t and he did it.

Dear Abby:
My mother is mean and short-tempered. I think she is going through her mental pause.

Dear Abby:
You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex years ago and he is a doctor.


see also   Relationship  Section

 

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26-May-2019