“Female Speak” Translation

Understanding Women 101


Fine: This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use “fine” to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

Five minutes: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it’s an even trade.

Go Ahead (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over “Nothing” and will end with the word “Fine”.

Go Ahead (normal eyebrows): This means “I give up” or “do what you want because I don’t care”. You will get a raised eyebrow “Go Ahead” in just a few minutes, followed by “Nothing” and “Fine” and she will talk to you in about “Five Minutes” when she cools off.

Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing”.

Nothing: This means something and you should be on your toes. “Nothing” is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually signifies an argument that will last “Five Minutes” and end with the word “Fine”.

Oh: This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example; “Oh, let me get that”. Or, “Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night”. If she says “Oh” before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is “Fine” when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days. “Oh” as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows “Go ahead” followed by acts so unspeakable that I can’t bring myself to write about them.

Please Do: This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn’t get a “That’s Okay”.

Soft Sigh: Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. “Soft Sighs” are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you’re welcome.

Thanks A Lot: This is much different than “Thanks”. A woman will say, “Thanks A Lot” when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the “Loud Sigh”. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the “Loud Sigh”, as she will only tell you “Nothing.”

That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for what ever it is that you have done. “That’s Okay” is often used with the word “Fine” and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow “Go Ahead”. At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.



QuotaBills
What do women want? - Sigmund Freud

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

Well-behaved women never make history. - Maria Shriver

Well-behaved women seldom make history. - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

Tis brief, my lord... as woman's love. - William Shakespeare

I have a great relationship with Roger Ailes. - Donald Trump

Treasure your relationships, not your possessions. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

When a woman is openly bad she is then at her best. - Latin Proverb

As Unto The Bow The Cord Is, So Unto The Man Is Woman - Longfellow

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. - Billy Crystal

Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse. - H L Mencken

A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon. - Arnold Haultain

Honesty is probably the sexiest thing a man can give to a woman. - Debra Messing

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her. - Oscar Wilde

Most women are afraid of clowns, but somehow end up still dating one. - Unknown

Some say women are addicted to chocolate. I say we're merely loyal. - Cathy Guisewite

No one but a woman in love ever sees the maximum of men's greatness. - Anais Nin

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often. - Oliver Herford

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

Beauty is the first present nature gives to a woman and the first it takes away. - Fay Weldon

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction. - Oscar Wilde

Enthusiasm is a vital element toward the individual success of every man or woman. - Conrad Hilton

Peppering your relationship with a dash of mystery can make it far more palatable. - Khang K. Nguyen

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats. - Jean Kerr

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

Romance is thinking about your significant other, when you are supposed to be thinking about something else. - Nicholas Sparks

There goes a woman who knows all the things that can be taught and none of the things that cannot be taught. - Coco Chanel

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

The scorn men express for a male who does housework is exceeded only by their aversion to a woman who doesn't. - Penny Kome

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in. - Casey Stengel

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx


see also   Relationship   Section
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
Flower Shop For Men
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
Names of the Colours
Real Man’s Point System
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

Frost Flower

Where is Waldo?

Frigid Florida

Texas Cobra Boots

Autumn Download

Read The Fine Print

Thanksgiving Harvest Time

It's All About Attitude

Sauna Bar

The Importance Of Education

My Last Swim In The Ocean

Dog Tired After Work

Hammock Wine

Parenting Skills

Property Boundary

Tree Nurture

Beer Floating

Police Targeting

Hard Hat Safety

Don't Try This At Home
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

19-Nov-2018