British League of Pessimists

Joking on National No Smiling Day?



National No Smiling Day

Pessimism - a state of mind in which one anticipates undesirable outcomes, or believes that the hardships in life outweigh the good

QuotaBills
The pessimist is half-licked before he starts. - Thomas A. Buckner

The English never draw a line without blurring it. - Winston Churchill

Comedy is society protecting itself - with a smile. - J.B. Priestley

One may smile and smile and smile. And be a villain. - William Shakespeare

A weeping man and a smiling woman are not to be trusted. - Indian Proverb

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put. - Winston Churchill

Many an optimist has become rich by buying out a pessimist. - Robert G. Allen

The best thing I know between France and England is the sea. - Douglas Jerrold

The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron

What Great Britain calls the Far East is to us the near north. - Robert Gordon Menzies

Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened. - Dr. Seuss

The most destitute person in the world is the one without a smile. - Zig Ziglar

In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce. - Francesco Caracciolo

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

Don't let the world change your smile, let your smile change the world. - Unknown

Pessimists are not boring. Pessimists are right. Pessimists are superfluous. - Elias Canetti

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world. - George Bernard Shaw

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles. - Garrison Keillor

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I know why the sun never sets on the British Empire: God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark. - Duncan Spaeth

The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded. - Steven Wright

"Burn everything British," he once advised his Irish countrymen, "except their coal." - Jonathan Swift

The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. - Unknown

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. - Winston Churchill

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

A smile is the lightning system of the face, the cooling system of the head, and the heating system of the heart. - Unknown

Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora

Humour is the weapon of unarmed people: it helps people who are oppressed to smile at the situation that pains them. - Simon Wiesenthal

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

In my last year of school, I was voted Class Optimist and Class Pessimist. Looking back, I realize I was only half right. - Jack Nicholson

Anyone can make you smile or cry, but it takes someone special to make you smile when you already have tears in your eyes. - Unknown

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

Every pessimist who ever lived has been buried in an unmarked grave. Tomorrow has always been better than today, and it always will be. - Paul Harvey

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay

A woman with confidence is hypnotic. A smile is mesmerizing. Presence, openness, a sense of humor - these are all things that make a woman attractive. - Jessica Ortner



 

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21-Jan-2018