British League of Pessimists

Joking on National No Smiling Day?



National No Smiling Day

Pessimism - a state of mind in which one anticipates undesirable outcomes, or believes that the hardships in life outweigh the good

QuotaBills
England is a nation of shopkeepers. - Napoleon Bonaparte

I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. - Phyllis Diller

Comedy is society protecting itself - with a smile. - J.B. Priestley

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back. - Steven Wright

Smile. It will bring serenity to the most stressful situations. - Garnet Hill

There'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood. - Bob Hope

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. - Oscar Wilde

Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown

Pessimist: One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both. - Oscar Wilde

England is an empire, Germany is a nation, a race, France is a person. - Jules Michelet

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

I have witnessed the softening of the hardest of hearts by a simple smile. - Goldie Hawn

A happy life consists not in the absence, but in the mastery of hardships. - Helen Keller

Pessimists are not boring. Pessimists are right. Pessimists are superfluous. - Elias Canetti

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world. - George Bernard Shaw

The visionary leader is an optimist, for no pessimist ever made a great leader. - William W Francis

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

Among the things you can give and still keep are your word, a smile, and a grateful heart. - Zig Ziglar

Never let life's hardships disturb you... no one can avoid problems, not even saints or sages. - Nichiren Daishonen

The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable. - Oscar Wilde

The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded. - Steven Wright

If it is good to have one foot in England, it is still better, or at least as good, to have the other out of it. - Henry James

You know when you have found your prince because you not only have a smile on your face but in your heart as well. - Unknown

If you find yourself saying, "But I can't speak English...", try adding the word "... yet". - Jane Revell

Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

Transformation also means looking for ways to stop pushing yourself so hard professionally or inviting so much stress. - Gail Sheehy

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

Anyone can make you smile or cry, but it takes someone special to make you smile when you already have tears in your eyes. - Unknown

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

Cricket - a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity. - Lord Mancroft

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

A woman with confidence is hypnotic. A smile is mesmerizing. Presence, openness, a sense of humor - these are all things that make a woman attractive. - Jessica Ortner



 

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Scottish Choices
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20-Aug-2018