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Wisdom In Phrases
Don’t worry about avoiding temptation
A slight impediment in the wife’s speech

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. - Socrates

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere. - Billy Crystal

Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you. - Winston Churchill

I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap. - Bob Hope

I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - W. C. Fields

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement. - Mark Twain

Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. - Phyllis Diller

Money can’t buy you happiness... but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. - Spike Milligan

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, “Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.” - Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

The cardiologist’s diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out.

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. - George Burns

Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP. - Joe Namath

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers


see also   Phrase  Section
Daffynition: Definition for a Humourist
Inspirational Quotes

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Now On Sale for those who give a hoot!
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Santa's Toy
Not a creature was stirring - not even my spouse
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Look at that escar-go!
Snail On The Run
Make your own Christmas Tree for great shavings!
Christmas Pencil Sharpener
Bring Christmas to your flying friends this Christmas
Christmas Birdhouse
How kids in Ohio get an early break for holidays
Early Christmas School Break
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Music Note Chairlift
Invite your whining, diverse group of employees to the company Christmas Party
Company Christmas Party - Whine and Dine
Purr-fect Christmas gift
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Griswold Christmas Tree
Bringing new meaning to a 'side' car
Motorcycle Side-Car
More rapid than X-lax his wooly sheep came
Redneck Night Before Christmas
Santa's a wreck - how to live in a world that's politically correct
Politically Correct Night Before Christmas
I was stuck at the office - the network was down
Networkologist's Night Before Christmas
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22-Dec-2014

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