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Wisdom In Phrases
Don’t worry about avoiding temptation
A slight impediment in the wife’s speech

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. - Socrates

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere. - Billy Crystal

Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you. - Winston Churchill

I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap. - Bob Hope

I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - W. C. Fields

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement. - Mark Twain

Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. - Phyllis Diller

Money can’t buy you happiness... but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. - Spike Milligan

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, “Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.” - Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

The cardiologist’s diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out.

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. - George Burns

Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP. - Joe Namath

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers


see also   Phrase  Section
Daffynition: Definition for a Humourist
Inspirational Quotes

Alcoholics Anonymous alternative plan for Halloween
Bottles of Boos
Follow The Bouncing Pumpkins
Pumpkin Cursor
Home Tweet Home for upside down birds
Bat House
A Redneck trophy pumpkin costs a buck an ear
Hunter's Halloween
Is the object in your mirror too close?
Mirror Objects
Dracula's favourite Halloween snack
Finger Lickin' Good
Egyptian mummies never had it so good
At Home Grave
Pulphead - a zombie football player
Pumpkin Helmet
Back-up friends
Uplifting Water Dispenser
Celebrating Halloween in Hawaii
Halloween Pineapple
Halloween costume that brings out the small people in all of us
Here Comes Baby
Predicting the next delay of game
Football Thesis
Ever worry about squirrels getting into your bird feeder?
High Wire Bear Feeder
Do barn swallows give a hoot?
Bird Scarecrow
The car was starting to run a little hot the last few miles
Redneck Hood Ornament
Ostrich Officer detail in Melbourne, Australia
Aussie Speed Bumps
3D body scan reveals what's behind Da Hood
Da Hood Shirt
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