Wisdom In Phrases
Don’t worry about avoiding temptation
A slight impediment in the wife’s speech

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. - Socrates

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere. - Billy Crystal

Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you. - Winston Churchill

I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap. - Bob Hope

I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - W. C. Fields

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement. - Mark Twain

Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. - Phyllis Diller

Money can’t buy you happiness... but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. - Spike Milligan

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, “Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.” - Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

The cardiologist’s diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out.

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. - George Burns

Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP. - Joe Namath

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers


see also   Phrase  Section
Daffynition: Definition for a Humourist
Inspirational Quotes

McDonald's new luxury delicacy for discriminating patrons
Caviar Burger
Wishbone arch support for fast-paced walks
Slingshot Shoes
Inspirational world-1st release of Buddhist songs
Buddhist Choir of B.C. Sings for the Dalai Lama
Steve finally realized he was playing a stale card game
Dead Hand
Hair today... gone tomorrow!
CATastrophe - How to Lionize Your Cat
Split decision on cutting edge road safety picture
I 'Saw' An Accident
Air Force drops troops of food into Afghanistan
I Eat Soldiers For Breakfast
Well-heeled on the farm
Cowgirl High Heels
George Washington's prayer for America
Laus Deo
Re-invented moments in history
Historic Texting
White House inspiration for the First Lady
Hillary's First Night As President
Bubba bakes cookies on the road
Texas Bakery
Happy Independence Day to our American friends!
July 4th Balloon
Why the Brits don't have an Independence Day
Britain Non-Independence Day
Latest Sudoku Sampler Puzzles: #14935-38
Sudoku Sampler
Why you should never let PhD Candidates in Marine Biology get near a gene splicer
Venison Of The Sea
Tired of being harassed by your stupid parents?
Teenage Independence
Submissions by Jim SerritellaFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site

05-Jul-2015

QR Code

G'Oldies

Aussie Rules Football - ...
Redneck Riding Lawnmowe ...
Fish View
Female Dog
School Speed Limit
Cat's Mouse
Eye Examination Chart
Safety Last Motorcyclis ...
Bar Code Casualty
Clown Down
What Are Friends For?
Irish Drink
Monk's Story
How To Make A Deer Stan ...
Toddler Joe
Dr. Plank - 'Speck Out ...
Almost Everything's Big ...
New Wine For Seniors
Cop Chase
First Proctologist Exam ...
Cyclists Speed Limit St ...
Saskatchewan Mosquito
PC World
Is That God's Boy Over ...
Church Hymns by Word As ...
Gas Fire
Bomb Squad Prank
New Lighting Standard f ...
Economy Flight
Key-o-Saurus
Original SUV
Mirror Shaking
Lab Work and Cat Scan
Extreme Golf in Mongoli ...
Diet Scale
Crooked Pub
Signs for the Modern Wo ...
Grandpa's Viagra
Tike Trike for a Fast B ...
Halloween Birth
Thirsty Snake
Little Johnny Skips Two ...
Toilet Paper For The Mo ...
World's 1st Mobile Camp ...
Church Sign Messages
Redneck Snowmobile
Dubai Construction Brea ...
BiPolar Bear
Spamdex Pork Shorts
Ship Shipping Ships
Bread Shortage for Jewi ...
Sock Storage
Carpool 4 Us
The Senility Prayer
Sneaky Dog
Tree That's A Head Of I ...
Firemen's Revenge
Duckling Dog
How To Identify If Your ...
Definitions Of The Obvi ...
First Date Conversation
Balanced Family Life