Opinion Scale - Her Special Gift

Finding the perfect gift for her



Three men are sitting at a bar. The first says, “I bought my wife something which goes from 0 to 100 in 6 seconds - I bought her a nice Porsche.”

The second guy says, “I bought something which goes from 0 to 100 in 4 seconds - a nice red Ferrari.”

The third one says, “I bought my wife something which goes from 0 to 200 IN JUST 2 SECONDS!”

Wife's special gift - it goes from 0 to 200 in just 2 seconds!

QuotaBills
Conceit is God's gift to little men. - Bruce Barton

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld

Every good and perfect gift comes from above. - Bible

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

The gods bestowed on him the gift of perpetual old age. - Oscar Wilde

Mankind's greatest gift is that we have free choice. - Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Love is, or it ain't. Thin love ain't love at all. - Toni Morrison

Forgiveness is a gift of high value. Yet its cost is nothing. - Betty Smith

Desperation is a fellow shaving before stepping on the scales. - Unknown

I don't mind that I'm fat. You still get the same money. - Marlon Brando

If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated by any other means. - Maimonides

With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60. - Jack Nicholson

The two kinds of people on earth are the people who lift and the people who lean. - Unknown

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

To live is like to love - all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it. - Samuel Butler

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it. - Paula Poundstone

Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard

I believe that how you feel is very important to how you look - that healthy equals beautiful. - Victoria Principal

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

We could not understand that there was anything about a bird that could not be built on a larger scale. - Orville Wright

Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. - Brendan Francis

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

The first requisite of a good citizen in this republic of ours is that he shall be able and willing to pull his weight. - Theodore Roosevelt

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on. - Jean Kerr

Desire is the key to motivation. It is the key to develop a healthy personality and a positive attitude towards oneself and others. - Amit Abraham

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

Thank you... fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would've happened if Jabba the Hutt mated with Princess Leia. - Jimmy Fallon

Only when your consciousness is totally focused on the moment you are in can you receive whatever gift, lesson, or delight that moment has to offer. - Barbara de Angelis


see also   Marriage  &  Shopping  Sections
9 Month Scale
Cut Weight
Diet Scale
Heat Expands
Moojita Scale
Son’s Cookie Scale
 

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23-Feb-2018