Opinion Scale - Her Special Gift

Finding the perfect gift for her



Three men are sitting at a bar. The first says, “I bought my wife something which goes from 0 to 100 in 6 seconds - I bought her a nice Porsche.”

The second guy says, “I bought something which goes from 0 to 100 in 4 seconds - a nice red Ferrari.”

The third one says, “I bought my wife something which goes from 0 to 200 IN JUST 2 SECONDS!”

Wife's special gift - it goes from 0 to 200 in just 2 seconds!

QuotaBills
The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Conceit is God's gift to little men. - Bruce Barton

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

Have great, secret, big, fat hopes for yourself. - Gloria Vanderbilt

My weight is perfect for my height - which varies. - Unknown

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Praise is the only gift for which people are really grateful. - Marguerite

Information is pretty thin stuff unless mixed with experience. - Clarence Day

Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue. - Virginia Woolf

If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people. - Jim Eason

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

A gift diamond shines so much better than one you buy for yourself. - Mae West

My metabolism stinks. I can gain weight just listening to dinner music. - Ron Dentinger

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated by any other means. - Maimonides

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60. - Jack Nicholson

The two kinds of people on earth are the people who lift and the people who lean. - Unknown

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

It is one thing to be gifted and quite another thing to be worthy of one's own gift. - Nadia Boulanger

The shovels haven't arrived, and until they do, you'll have to lean on each other. - Unknown

Life, if you're fat, is a minefield - you have to pick your way, otherwise you blow up. - Miriam Margolyes

Polly had a gift for baking pies, and she poured her heart and soul into every one she made. - Sarah Weeks

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

We could not understand that there was anything about a bird that could not be built on a larger scale. - Orville Wright

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Baloney is the unvarnished lie laid on so thick you hate it. Blarney is flattery laid on so thin you love it. - Fulton J Sheen

Art is made to disturb. Science reassures. There is only one valuable thin in art: the thing you cannot explain. - Georges Braque

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. - Bob Thaves

We are all born with a grab bag on gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money. - Bill O'Reilly

Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don't have a plan. - Larry Winget

In soap, fatty acids made from boiling pork bone fat are used as a hardening agent, but also for giving it a pearl-like effect. - Christien Meindertsma

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

Thank you... fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would've happened if Jabba the Hutt mated with Princess Leia. - Jimmy Fallon


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25-Nov-2017