Bubba’s Staple Diet

New Redneck “staple-a-day” lose-weight program



Redneck on a Staple Diet

QuotaBills
Laughter is by definition healthy. - Doris Lessing

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

Have great, secret, big, fat hopes for yourself. - Gloria Vanderbilt

We don't see many fat men walking on stilts. - Bud Miller

I'm not gaining weight. I'm living large. - Unknown

My weight is perfect for my height - which varies. - Unknown

Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy. - Groucho Marx

Information is pretty thin stuff unless mixed with experience. - Clarence Day

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'. - Dave Barry

The key to a healthy lawn is to take care of what happens below ground. - Mike Bechtle

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

The two kinds of people on earth are the people who lift and the people who lean. - Unknown

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

Confidence is beautiful, no matter your size, no matter your weight. Be confident in who you are and you'll be beautiful. - Unknown

I cannot but bless the memory of Julius Caesar, for the great esteem he expressed for fat men; and his aversion to lean ones. - David Hume

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

Thank you... fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would've happened if Jabba the Hutt mated with Princess Leia. - Jimmy Fallon

A healthy, if well-concealed, respect for one's own capabilities is essential, but it should never lead to underestimating those of the opponent. - Jack Nicklaus


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25-May-2019