6th Grade Misspelling

Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbits


[The following were answers provided by 6th graders during history tests. Some of the best humour is in the misspelling…]

1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.

3. Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.

4. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.

5. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

6. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: “Tee hee, Brutus.”

7. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw.

8. Queen Elizabeth was the “Virgin Queen.” As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted “hurrah.”

9. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking.

10. Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.

11. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couple. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.

12. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.

13. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward and declared, “A horse divided against itself cannot stand.” Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

14. Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.

15. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between, he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large.

16. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

17. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbits. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered the radio. Karl Marx became one of the Marx Brothers.




QuotaBills
Adults are just obsolete children. - Dr. Seuss

Children are the wisdom of the nation. - African Saying

Children are poor people's riches. - Unknown

The childhood shows the man, as morning shows the day. - John Milton

A child can ask questions that a wise man cannot answer. - Unknown

We must teach our children to dream with their eyes open. - Harry Edwards

Our children are only as brilliant as we allow them to be. - Eric Micha'el Leventhal

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

A child seldom needs a good talking to as a good listening to. - Robert Brault

When I was a child what I wanted to be when I grew up was an invalid. - Quentin Crisp

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

Grammar is a piano I play by ear. All I know about grammar is its power. - Joan Didion

There's only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it. - English Proverb

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

Four very powerful words to say to your child: "I believe in you." - Kevin Heath

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children. - Robert Benchley

We do not inherit the earth from our parents. We borrow it from our children. - Unknown

A characteristic of the normal child is he doesn't act that way very often. - Unknown

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

You know children are growing up when they start asking questions that have answers. - John J Plomp

Grandchildren are God's rewards to grandparents for not shooting their children. - Unknown

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

It's easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Choose your words wisely. - Unknown

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

Parents should leave books lying around marked "forbidden" if they want their children to read. - Doris Lessing

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. - Phyllis Diller

Play is a vital learning medium for a child. In a sense play is his work. And he discovers knowledge for himself. - Raymond Moore

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it. - Harry S Truman

Children despise their parents until the age of forty, when they suddenly become just like them, thus preserving the system. - Quentin Crewe

A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason; to always be curious; and to fight tirelessly for something. - Paulo Coelho

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

The greatest sign of success for a teacher is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist." - Maria Montessori

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

Everything here is edible; even I'm edible. But that, dear children, is cannibalism, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies. - Johnny Depp

The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about. - Evan Esar

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer


see also   Aging, History  &  Trivia  Sections
Attention Span
Babysitting Kids
Eat Your Vegetables
Falling Picture
Help For Dead Children
OCD Ball Pit
Redneck Time Out
Unattended Children

 

Stealth Cell Phone Tower

Holes of the World

Sunken Bed

Australian Wildfire Survivor

Rat Toys

Radish Camouflage

Apple Art

Cake Finders

Shot Glasses

Frog Spout Security

Chopper Bicycle

Canadian Suntan

Walkway To Heaven

Groucho Marx and Jimmy Savile

Despicable Shoes

Prayer Conditioning

Lazy People Make Excellent Engineers

Spaghetti Western

Under The Weather

Backpack Barney
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

20-May-2019