Cataract Surgery Lawsuit

Susan Sues after an eye-opening Down Under operation



A West Australian newspaper recently reported that a woman, Mrs. Susan Maynard, has sued a Perth Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex.

A hospital spokesman replied, “Mr. Maynard was admitted for cataract surgery. All we did was correct his eyesight.”

Australian Cataract Surgery for Mrs. Maynard

QuotaBills
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Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker

The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno

A bad compromise beats a good lawsuit. - Saying

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. - Steven Wright

Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller

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A successful lawsuit is the one worn by a policeman. - Robert Frost

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The power of the lawyer is in the uncertainty of the law. - Jeremy Bentham

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What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man. - Herbert Spencer

A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. - Ambrose Bierce

I would uphold the law if for no other reason but to protect myself. - Thomas More

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

It's every lawyer's dream to help shape the law, not just react to it. - Alan Dershowitz

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt. - Elizabeth C Stanton

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

Law enforcement cannot succeed without the sustained, and informed, interest of all citizens. - Lyndon B Johnson

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Whatever their other contributions to our society, lawyers could be an important source of protein. - Guindon

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey

I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

What we lawyers want to do is to substitute courts for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs, warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles. - George Rhyne

There is only one categorical imperative: Act only according to that maxim by which you can at the same time will that it should become universal law. - Immanuel Kant


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19-Feb-2019