Cataract Surgery Lawsuit

Susan Sues after an eye-opening Down Under operation



A West Australian newspaper recently reported that a woman, Mrs. Susan Maynard, has sued a Perth Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex.

A hospital spokesman replied, “Mr. Maynard was admitted for cataract surgery. All we did was correct his eyesight.”

Australian Cataract Surgery for Mrs. Maynard

QuotaBills
Necessity hath no law. - Oliver Cromwell

Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope

A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown

The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb

Law is order, and good law is good order. - Aristotle

A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown

In law, nothing is certain but the expense. - Samuel Butler

Law and order are not necessarily partners. - Saying

Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown

The law must be stable, but it must not stand still. - Roscoe Pound

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb

A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown

Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem

There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law. - Abraham Lincoln

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

I would uphold the law if for no other reason but to protect myself. - Thomas More

Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown

So I will say it with relish. Give me a hamburger but hold the lawsuit. - S.I. Hayakawa

The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law. - Aristotle

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

Tennis is like a lawsuit: activity from across the court is often surprising. - Unknown

Lawyers are like beavers: They get in the middle of the stream and dam it up. - Donald Rumsfeld

I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

You cannot live without the lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain

Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht

I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan

Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes. - Robert Kennedy

There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. - Will Rogers

No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

What we lawyers want to do is to substitute courts for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs, warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles. - George Rhyne


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20-Oct-2019