Scratch-Off Parking Tickets

Putting the fun back in traffic citations



Scratch-Off Parking Tickets

QuotaBills
A winner never whines. - Paul Brown

Parking is such street sorrow. - Herb Caen

Winners train, losers complain. - Unknown

Scratch a lover, and find a foe. - Dorothy Parker

Winners plan, prepare, and expect to win. - Zig Ziglar

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch. - Ogden Nash

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

A winner never quits, and a quitter never wins. - Unknown

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

The only thing greater than a good loser is a humble winner. - Unknown

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

If you scratch a cynic, you'll find a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back. - Steven Wright

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

Common sense is just as good a critic of the lottery as any statistical breakdown. - Hunter Baker

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. - Bill Vaughan

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

All are inclined to believe that they covet, from a lottery ticket up to a passport to Paradise. - Lord Byron

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

Winners lose much more often than losers. So if you keep losing but you're still trying, keep it up! You're right on track. - Matthew Keith Groves

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright


see also   Finance  &  Lottery  Sections
Double Parkers
New Speed Trap
Police Car Of The Year
Privileged Corvette Parking
Radar Replacement
Safest Place In Canada
Scratch
Texas Speed Camera
Tie Wrap Security
Trinidad vs UK Police
Underwater Radar Trap
Where Nobody Speeds
You Want Me To Do What?

 

Folding Bike

Ladies Golf

Mommy's Diet

Goat Trick

Why The Dog Left

Sex Education in Saskatchewan

Unattended Children

Slovak Muffler Accessory

Towel, Please

Onward, My Noble Steed!

Donut Sale

Found The Food

Captain Hook

Pane-Full Motorcycle

Internet Surfing
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

20-Sep-2018