Scratch-Off Parking Tickets

Putting the fun back in traffic citations



Scratch-Off Parking Tickets

QuotaBills
A winner never whines. - Paul Brown

Winners train, losers complain. - Unknown

Only the winners decide what were war crimes. - Gary Wills

There'll be only one winner now - in every sense. - David Coleman

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us air tickets. - Mel Brooks

The only thing greater than a good loser is a humble winner. - Unknown

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

If you scratch a cynic, you'll find a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Winner: a runner who wins in spite of ninety nine excellent runners. - Sujit Lalwani

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? - Jay Leno

The most distinguishing feature of winners is their intensity of purpose. - Alymer Letterman

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back. - Steven Wright

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. - Carl Sagan

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

Losers visualize the penalties of failure. Winners visualize the rewards of success. - Unknown

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

It is necessary for me to establish a winner image. Therefore, I have to beat somebody. - Richard M Nixon

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. - Bill Vaughan

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Winners lose more than losers. They win and lose more than losers, because they stay in the game. - Terry Paulson

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers! - Homer Simpson

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. - Bill Vaughan

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz


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27-May-2018