Sewing Machine For Sale

Cheap Love Not Included

“Can I have the Classified Ads Re-Correction Department, please?”


[These four classified ads appeared in a newspaper on four consecutive days... the last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day’s mistake...]

MONDAY
“For sale - SK Sharath has a sewing machine for sale. Phone 255-0707 after 7PM and ask for Mrs Mani who lives with him cheap.”

TUESDAY
Notice: We regret having erred in SK Sharath’s ad yesterday. It should have read:
“One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 255-0707 and ask for Mrs Mani, who lives with him after 7PM.”

WEDNESDAY
Notice: SK Sharath has informed us that he has received several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in the classified ad yesterday. The ad stands correct as follows:
“For sale - SK Sharath has a sewing machine for sale. Cheap. Phone 255-0707 after 7PM and ask for Mrs Mani who loves with him.”

THURSDAY
“Notice: I, SK Sharath, have no sewing machine for sale. I smashed it. Don’t call 255-0707 as I have had the phone disconnected. I have not been carrying on with Mrs Mani. Until yesterday, she was my housekeeper but she quit.”


QuotaBills
Clarity trumps persuasion. - Flint McGlaughlin

Your culture is your brand. - Tony Hsieh

These are cathedrals of shopping. - Emile Zola

It costs a lot to build bad products. - Norman Augustine

Inequality of knowledge is the key to a sale. - Neil O Gustafson

Social media are tools. Real time is a mindset. - David M. Scott

Marketing strategy is a lot like military strategy. - Liddell Hart

Marketing isn't magic. There is a science to it. - Dan Zarrella

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

For corporate marketers, podcasting is low-hanging fruit. - Paul Gillin

A brand new vacuum cleaner with all the latest attractions - Archie Bunker

Give them quality. That's the best kind of advertising. - Milton Hershey

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill-bucket. - George Orwell

Traditional methods of sales prospecting are grossly inefficient. - Jill Konrath

Marketing and innovation are the two chief functions of business. - Peter F Drucker

Increasingly, the mass marketing is turning into a mass of niches. - Chris Anderson

A good thing sells itself; a bad thing advertises itself for sale. - African Saying

When all you've got is a hammer, bad service looks like a nail. - Doc Searls

Marketing is far too important to leave to the marketing department. - David Packard

Advertising has annihilated the power of the most powerful adjectives. - Paul Valery

Don't be afraid to get creative and experiment with your marketing. - Mike Volpe

Yesterday ended last night. Today is a brand new day and it's yours. - Zig Ziglar

Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising. - Mark Twain

Advertising Agency: Eighty-five percent confusion and fifteen percent commission. - Fred Allen

There is no such thing as a bad client, but there such a thing as bad advertising. - Jerry D Femina

Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

It used to be that people needed products to survive. Now products need people to survive. - Nicholas Johnson

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

The next time you hear a social media myth, question it. Ask for the proof, and ask out loud. - Dan Zarrella

I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale." - Steven Wright

Networking is marketing. Marketing yourself, marketing your uniqueness, marketing what you stand for. - Christine Comaford-Lynch

Advertising is the modern substitute for argument; its function is to make the worse appear the better. - George Santayana

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it. - Stephen Leacock

Too often, sales reps simply regurgitate their presentations and expect to land the sale. It doesn't work. - Harvey Mackay

Word-of-mouth marketing has always been important. Today, it's more important than ever because of the Internet. - Newt Barrett

In today's information age of Marketing and Web 2.0, a company's website is the key to their entire business. - Marcus Sheridan

People shop and learn in a whole new way compared to just a few years ago, so marketers need to adapt or risk extinction. - Brian Halligan

Audiences everywhere are tough. They don't have time to be bored or brow beaten by orthodox, old fashioned advertising. - Craig Davis

Doing business without advertising is like winking at a girl in the dark. You know what you are doing, but nobody else does. - Stuart H Britt

Understand the key factors in the math behind viral marketing, and use those to figure out what it takes to get viral growth. - David Skok

My greatest strength is common sense. I'm really a standard brand - like Campbell's tomato soup or Baker's chocolate. - Katharine Hepburn

Instead of one-way interruption, Web marketing is about delivering useful content at just the precise moment that a buyer needs it. - David M. Scott

Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless. - Sinclair Lewis

Search, a marketing method that didn't exist a decade ago, provides the most efficient and inexpensive way for businesses to find leads. - John Battelle

Advertising moves the goods - if it's good advertising. Bad advertising doesn't move the goods because it doesn't move the buyers. - Unknown

Social media is about friending someone so they'll invite you to a party or get you a job. If that's the work, Snapchat is the playground. - Evan Spiegel


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21-Jan-2018