Lawyer’s Genie-ous Catch

Ever wish you could give twice as much to your lawyer?


A man walking along the beach one day finds a bottle. He rubs it and out pops a genie.
“I will grant you three wishes,” said the genie. “But there’s a catch.”

“What catch?”

The genie replied, “Every time you make a wish, every lawyer in the world will receive double the wish you were granted.”
“Well, I can live with that - no problem!” replied the elated man.

“What’s your first wish?” asked the genie.
“Well, I’ve always wanted a Ferrari!”
POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO Ferraris,” said the genie.

“Next wish?”
“I’d love a million dollars,” replied the man.
POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO million dollars,” said the genie.

“Well, that’s okay, as long as I’ve got my million,” replied the man.

“What is your third and final wish?”
The man thought long and hard, and finally said, “Well, you know, I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney!”


QuotaBills
Whenever law ends, tyranny begins. - John Locke

I don't want tea, I want justice! - Ally Carter

A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown

I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North

Swift justice demands more than just swiftness. - Potter Stewart

Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker

The worst form of injustice is pretended justice. - Plato

Let justice be done though the heavens should fall. - John Adams

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

It's every man's business to see justice done. - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Canada is the homeland of equality, justice and tolerance. - Kim Campbell

It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. - Oscar Wilde

The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb

People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus

Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice. - H L Mencken

A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. - Ambrose Bierce

I would uphold the law if for no other reason but to protect myself. - Thomas More

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer

So I will say it with relish. Give me a hamburger but hold the lawsuit. - S.I. Hayakawa

Ignorance, allied with power, is the most ferocious enemy justice can have. - James Baldwin

Lawyers are like beavers: They get in the middle of the stream and dam it up. - Donald Rumsfeld

I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny

Ethics and equity and the principles of justice do not change with the calendar. - D.H. Lawrence

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt. - Elizabeth C Stanton

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

A criminal remains a criminal whether he uses a convict's suit or a monarch's crown. - Victor Hugo

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

Law enforcement cannot succeed without the sustained, and informed, interest of all citizens. - Lyndon B Johnson

Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again. - Nelson Mandela

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. - Malcolm S Forbes

The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht

Whatever their other contributions to our society, lawyers could be an important source of protein. - Guindon

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. - Edsgar Dijkstra

There is not Communism or Marxism, but representative democracy and social justice in a well-planned economy. - Fidel Castro

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

There's a lot of fake people in the world, but before you judge them, make sure you're not one of them. - Unknown

There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey

I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry

When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes. - Billy Connolly

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin

We discern across the centuries a commanding and versatile intelligence, wielding with equal force the sword of war and of justice. - Winston Churchill

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein


see also   Genie  &  Lawyer  Sections
40th Wedding Anniversary
Blonde Men
Bottomless Mug
Cinderella Joe-kette
Cowboy’s Gift From Revenue Canada
Emu Order
Fertile Land
Ostrich Genie

 

The Spacebar

Africa Car Security

Sand Faces

Train Boat

Water Rickshaw

That Way

Week Sales for the Weak

Hazardous Delivery

Nothing Can Compete With A Good Book

Camouflage Pro

Morning Paper

Diabetes Medication

India Plumbers

How To Prevent Cheating

Worst Job in the Army

Time Management

Melted Dog

Bible Bar

Shower Dog

Scottish Choices
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

20-Aug-2018