Lawyer’s Genie-ous Catch

Ever wish you could give twice as much to your lawyer?


A man walking along the beach one day finds a bottle. He rubs it and out pops a genie.
“I will grant you three wishes,” said the genie. “But there’s a catch.”

“What catch?”

The genie replied, “Every time you make a wish, every lawyer in the world will receive double the wish you were granted.”
“Well, I can live with that - no problem!” replied the elated man.

“What’s your first wish?” asked the genie.
“Well, I’ve always wanted a Ferrari!”
POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO Ferraris,” said the genie.

“Next wish?”
“I’d love a million dollars,” replied the man.
POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO million dollars,” said the genie.

“Well, that’s okay, as long as I’ve got my million,” replied the man.

“What is your third and final wish?”
The man thought long and hard, and finally said, “Well, you know, I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney!”


QuotaBills
The law is silent during war. - Cicero

Agree, for the law is costly. - William Camden

Common sense often makes good law. - William O Douglas

Generosity is the flower of justice. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

A bad compromise beats a good lawsuit. - Saying

Justice is incidental to law and order. - J Edgar Hoover

OK, if you can get an indepartial judge. - Archie Bunker

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb

Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance. - Unknown

Swift justice demands more than just swiftness. - Potter Stewart

A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Martial

A successful lawsuit is the one worn by a policeman. - Robert Frost

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

Stop soft soapin' and trying to deterge the judge! - Archie Bunker

Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs. - Unknown

I've never been in love. I've always been a lawyer. - Unknown

What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man. - Herbert Spencer

Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice. - H L Mencken

Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer

A society that has more justice is a society that needs less charity. - Ralph Nader

Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy. - Homer Simpson

Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

So I will say it with relish. Give me a hamburger but hold the lawsuit. - S.I. Hayakawa

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

Lawyers are like beavers: They get in the middle of the stream and dam it up. - Donald Rumsfeld

True peace is not merely the absence of tension; it is the presence of justice. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

Observe good faith and justice toward all nations. Cultivate peace and harmony with all. - George Washington

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain

If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile

Once in a lifetime the longed-for tidal wave of justice can rise up, and hope and history rhyme. - Seamus Heaney

The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht

Whatever their other contributions to our society, lawyers could be an important source of protein. - Guindon

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. - Edsgar Dijkstra

I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

The legal system is often a mystery, and we, its priests, preside over rituals baffling to everyday citizens. - Henry G. Miller

Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes. - Robert Kennedy

No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison

The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger

What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele

Man's capacity for justice makes democracy possible, but man's inclination to injustice makes democracy necessary. - Reinhold Niebuhr

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

Justice, sir, is the great interest of man on earth. It is the ligament which holds civilized beings and civilized nations together. - Daniel Webster

While there is a lower class, I am in it; while there is a criminal element, I am of it; and while there is a soul in prison, I am not free. - Eugene V Debs


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18-Feb-2018