Lawyer’s Genie-ous Catch

Ever wish you could give twice as much to your lawyer?


A man walking along the beach one day finds a bottle. He rubs it and out pops a genie.
“I will grant you three wishes,” said the genie. “But there’s a catch.”

“What catch?”

The genie replied, “Every time you make a wish, every lawyer in the world will receive double the wish you were granted.”
“Well, I can live with that - no problem!” replied the elated man.

“What’s your first wish?” asked the genie.
“Well, I’ve always wanted a Ferrari!”
POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO Ferraris,” said the genie.

“Next wish?”
“I’d love a million dollars,” replied the man.
POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO million dollars,” said the genie.

“Well, that’s okay, as long as I’ve got my million,” replied the man.

“What is your third and final wish?”
The man thought long and hard, and finally said, “Well, you know, I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney!”


QuotaBills
Justice is truth in action. - Benjamin Disraeli

Common sense often makes good law. - William O Douglas

A bad compromise beats a good lawsuit. - Saying

Justice is incidental to law and order. - J Edgar Hoover

We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller

In law, nothing is certain but the expense. - Samuel Butler

Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Law and order are not necessarily partners. - Saying

To live outside the law, you must be honest. - Bob Dylan

Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker

There's a strong criminal relement up there. - Archie Bunker

The law must be stable, but it must not stand still. - Roscoe Pound

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. - Martin Luther King Jr.

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

It's every man's business to see justice done. - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw

I've never been in love. I've always been a lawyer. - Unknown

A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law. - Abraham Lincoln

The sad duty of politics is to establish justice in a sinful world. - Reinhold Niebuhr

Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy. - Homer Simpson

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson

The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal. - Erich Fromm

You cannot live without the lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

Justice is the insurance we have on our lives, and obedience is the premium we pay for it. - William Penn

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain

Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

Law enforcement cannot succeed without the sustained, and informed, interest of all citizens. - Lyndon B Johnson

If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. - Malcolm S Forbes

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

Once in a lifetime the longed-for tidal wave of justice can rise up, and hope and history rhyme. - Seamus Heaney

Whatever their other contributions to our society, lawyers could be an important source of protein. - Guindon

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan

People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown

No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison

What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele

Man's capacity for justice makes democracy possible, but man's inclination to injustice makes democracy necessary. - Reinhold Niebuhr

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge

Too many young folk have an addiction to superficial things and not enough conviction for substantial things like justice, truth and love. - Cornel West

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright

What we lawyers want to do is to substitute courts for carnage, dockets for rockets, briefs for bombs, warrants for warheads, mandates for missiles. - George Rhyne


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21-Aug-2019