A man walking along the beach one day finds a bottle. He rubs it and out pops a genie.
“I will grant you three wishes,” said the genie. “But there’s a
The genie replied, “Every time you make a wish, every lawyer in the world will receive double the wish you were granted.”
“Well, I can live with that - no problem!” replied the elated man.
“What’s your first wish?” asked the genie.
“Well, I’ve always wanted a Ferrari!”
POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO Ferraris,” said the genie.
“I’d love a million dollars,” replied the man.
POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO million dollars,” said the genie.
“Well, that’s okay, as long as I’ve got my million,” replied the man.
“What is your third and final wish?”
The man thought long and hard, and finally said, “Well, you know, I’ve always
wanted to donate a kidney!”
Justice is truth in action. - Benjamin Disraeli
The trouble with law is lawyers. - Clarence Darrow
Justice delayed is justice denied. - William Gladstone
Whenever law ends, tyranny begins. - John Locke
I don't want tea, I want justice! - Ally Carter
The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno
A bad compromise beats a good lawsuit. - Saying
Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb
We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb
Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller
If you want peace, you must work for justice. - Pope Paul VI
A successful lawsuit is the one worn by a policeman. - Robert Frost
The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren
Stop soft soapin' and trying to deterge the judge! - Archie Bunker
Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw
It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. - Oscar Wilde
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx
There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain
A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin
Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce
Ignorance, allied with power, is the most ferocious enemy justice can have. - James Baldwin
Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell
Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor
A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray
You cannot live without the lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate
Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker
A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost
The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand
To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt. - Elizabeth C Stanton
Observe good faith and justice toward all nations. Cultivate peace and harmony with all. - George Washington
I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright
Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle
My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez
If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine
You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. - Malcolm S Forbes
At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle
The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown
I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry
No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison
When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand
What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele
Man's capacity for justice makes democracy possible, but man's inclination to injustice makes democracy necessary. - Reinhold Niebuhr
I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge
In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams
Anyone who takes it on himself, on his own authority, to break a bad law, thereby authorizes everyone else to break the good ones. - Denis Diderot
We discern across the centuries a commanding and versatile intelligence, wielding with equal force the sword of war and of justice. - Winston Churchill
Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein
Genie & Lawyer Sections
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