Lawyer’s Genie-ous Catch

Ever wish you could give twice as much to your lawyer?


A man walking along the beach one day finds a bottle. He rubs it and out pops a genie.
“I will grant you three wishes,” said the genie. “But there’s a catch.”

“What catch?”

The genie replied, “Every time you make a wish, every lawyer in the world will receive double the wish you were granted.”
“Well, I can live with that - no problem!” replied the elated man.

“What’s your first wish?” asked the genie.
“Well, I’ve always wanted a Ferrari!”
POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO Ferraris,” said the genie.

“Next wish?”
“I’d love a million dollars,” replied the man.
POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO million dollars,” said the genie.

“Well, that’s okay, as long as I’ve got my million,” replied the man.

“What is your third and final wish?”
The man thought long and hard, and finally said, “Well, you know, I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney!”


QuotaBills
Justice is truth in action. - Benjamin Disraeli

Whenever law ends, tyranny begins. - John Locke

Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker

A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown

All children are essentially criminal. - Denis Diderot

The good of the people is the chief law. - Cicero

Don't judge folks by their relatives. - Unknown

Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance. - Unknown

It is not wisdom but authority that makes a law. - Thomas Hobbes

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

Stop soft soapin' and trying to deterge the judge! - Archie Bunker

Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs. - Unknown

It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. - Oscar Wilde

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens

I've never been in love. I've always been a lawyer. - Unknown

The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb

Sometimes justice is at its most merciful when it's blind. - Nancy Gibbs

Don't judge me by my past. I don't live there anymore. - Unknown

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law. - Abraham Lincoln

My photographs don't do me justice – they just look like me. - Phyllis Diller

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer

Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown

A society that has more justice is a society that needs less charity. - Ralph Nader

Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis

True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people together. - Unknown

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law. - Aristotle

Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal. - Erich Fromm

True peace is not merely the absence of tension; it is the presence of justice. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost

Justice is the insurance we have on our lives, and obedience is the premium we pay for it. - William Penn

Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine

Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again. - Nelson Mandela

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. - Edsgar Dijkstra

There is not Communism or Marxism, but representative democracy and social justice in a well-planned economy. - Fidel Castro

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

The legal system is often a mystery, and we, its priests, preside over rituals baffling to everyday citizens. - Henry G. Miller

There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. - Anatole France

There is only one categorical imperative: Act only according to that maxim by which you can at the same time will that it should become universal law. - Immanuel Kant


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16-Feb-2019