Lawyer’s Genie-ous Catch

Ever wish you could give twice as much to your lawyer?


A man walking along the beach one day finds a bottle. He rubs it and out pops a genie.
“I will grant you three wishes,” said the genie. “But there’s a catch.”

“What catch?”

The genie replied, “Every time you make a wish, every lawyer in the world will receive double the wish you were granted.”
“Well, I can live with that - no problem!” replied the elated man.

“What’s your first wish?” asked the genie.
“Well, I’ve always wanted a Ferrari!”
POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO Ferraris,” said the genie.

“Next wish?”
“I’d love a million dollars,” replied the man.
POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO million dollars,” said the genie.

“Well, that’s okay, as long as I’ve got my million,” replied the man.

“What is your third and final wish?”
The man thought long and hard, and finally said, “Well, you know, I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney!”


QuotaBills
Agree, for the law is costly. - William Camden

Common sense often makes good law. - William O Douglas

Generosity is the flower of justice. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

I don't want tea, I want justice! - Ally Carter

The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno

Justice is incidental to law and order. - J Edgar Hoover

If you want peace, you must work for justice. - Pope Paul VI

Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown

A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying

There's a strong criminal relement up there. - Archie Bunker

The genie can't be pushed back into the bottle. - David N Leff

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

I have always fought for concrete facts, for justice. - Fidel Castro

In the Halls of Justice, the only justice is in the halls. - Lenny Bruce

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens

Don't judge me by my past. I don't live there anymore. - Unknown

My photographs don't do me justice – they just look like me. - Phyllis Diller

The sad duty of politics is to establish justice in a sinful world. - Reinhold Niebuhr

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer

Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy. - Homer Simpson

Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

Recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness. - Confucius

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal. - Erich Fromm

Tennis is like a lawsuit: activity from across the court is often surprising. - Unknown

True peace is not merely the absence of tension; it is the presence of justice. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Ethics and equity and the principles of justice do not change with the calendar. - D.H. Lawrence

If a man dies and leaves his estate in an uncertain condition, the lawyers become his heirs. - Edgar Watson Howe

Law enforcement cannot succeed without the sustained, and informed, interest of all citizens. - Lyndon B Johnson

If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan

The legal system is often a mystery, and we, its priests, preside over rituals baffling to everyday citizens. - Henry G. Miller

There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. - Will Rogers

The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger

What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes. - Billy Connolly

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge

A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. - John F Kennedy

We discern across the centuries a commanding and versatile intelligence, wielding with equal force the sword of war and of justice. - Winston Churchill

Justice, sir, is the great interest of man on earth. It is the ligament which holds civilized beings and civilized nations together. - Daniel Webster

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

Too many young folk have an addiction to superficial things and not enough conviction for substantial things like justice, truth and love. - Cornel West


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11-Dec-2017