Lawyer’s Genie-ous Catch

Ever wish you could give twice as much to your lawyer?


A man walking along the beach one day finds a bottle. He rubs it and out pops a genie.
“I will grant you three wishes,” said the genie. “But there’s a catch.”

“What catch?”

The genie replied, “Every time you make a wish, every lawyer in the world will receive double the wish you were granted.”
“Well, I can live with that - no problem!” replied the elated man.

“What’s your first wish?” asked the genie.
“Well, I’ve always wanted a Ferrari!”
POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO Ferraris,” said the genie.

“Next wish?”
“I’d love a million dollars,” replied the man.
POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.
“Now every lawyer in the world has TWO million dollars,” said the genie.

“Well, that’s okay, as long as I’ve got my million,” replied the man.

“What is your third and final wish?”
The man thought long and hard, and finally said, “Well, you know, I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney!”


QuotaBills
Justice is truth in action. - Benjamin Disraeli

The trouble with law is lawyers. - Clarence Darrow

Justice delayed is justice denied. - William Gladstone

The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno

All children are essentially criminal. - Denis Diderot

We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Law is order, and good law is good order. - Aristotle

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb

To live outside the law, you must be honest. - Bob Dylan

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North

A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying

Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker

There's a strong criminal relement up there. - Archie Bunker

A successful lawsuit is the one worn by a policeman. - Robert Frost

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

It's every man's business to see justice done. - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Canada is the homeland of equality, justice and tolerance. - Kim Campbell

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens

Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice. - H L Mencken

A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain

My photographs don't do me justice – they just look like me. - Phyllis Diller

The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes. - Oscar Wilde

Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown

A society that has more justice is a society that needs less charity. - Ralph Nader

So I will say it with relish. Give me a hamburger but hold the lawsuit. - S.I. Hayakawa

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law. - Winston Churchill

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people together. - Unknown

Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

Tennis is like a lawsuit: activity from across the court is often surprising. - Unknown

The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson

I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny

A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

Justice is the insurance we have on our lives, and obedience is the premium we pay for it. - William Penn

Whatever their other contributions to our society, lawyers could be an important source of protein. - Guindon

There is not Communism or Marxism, but representative democracy and social justice in a well-planned economy. - Fidel Castro

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

Anyone who takes it on himself, on his own authority, to break a bad law, thereby authorizes everyone else to break the good ones. - Denis Diderot

While there is a lower class, I am in it; while there is a criminal element, I am of it; and while there is a soul in prison, I am not free. - Eugene V Debs


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20-Nov-2018