Fatherly Advice

Dad & Son talk... be-fore it’s too late!


A father spoke to his son, “It’s time we had a little talk, my son. Soon you will have urges and feelings you’ve never had before. Your heart will pound and your hands will sweat. You’ll be preoccupied and won’t be able to think of anything else.”

He added, “But don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal... it’s called golf.”


QuotaBills
A father is a banker provided by nature. - French Proverb

It is a wise father that knows his own child. - William Shakespeare

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. - Paul Gallico

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic. - Spike Milligan

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham

She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings. - Jay London

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey

I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course? - Babe Ruth

Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! - Lydia Child

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford

Don't talk about a rope in the house of someone whose father was hung. - Colin Farrell

The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli

Necessity may be the mother of invention, but play is certainly the father. - Roger von Oech

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon

It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father. - Pope John XXIII

My father used to say, "Don't raise your voice. Improve your argument." - Desmond Tutu

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. - Mark Twain

One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course. - Unknown

You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. - Robert Frost

I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong. - Charles Wadsworth

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. - Matthew 5:14-16

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. - Rodney Dangerfield

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

My father said there were two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better. - Marlo Thomas

When I was nine, my father said 'You can take piano lessons or do karate' - I had a black belt and was competing before I was 19. - Elodie Yung

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Luke, you can destroy the Emperor. He has foreseen this. It is your destiny. Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son. - Darth Vader

I once said to my father, when I was a boy, 'Dad we need a third political party.' He said to me, 'I'll settle for a second.' - Ralph Nader

Chutzpa is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. - Leo Rosten


see also   Golf  Section
Father Sayings for Father’s Day
Father’s Day Selfie
Ways to say “Dad” in Different Languages

 

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22-Apr-2018