Fatherly Advice

Dad & Son talk... be-fore it’s too late!


A father spoke to his son, “It’s time we had a little talk, my son. Soon you will have urges and feelings you’ve never had before. Your heart will pound and your hands will sweat. You’ll be preoccupied and won’t be able to think of anything else.”

He added, “But don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal... it’s called golf.”


QuotaBills
Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain

Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player

A father is a banker provided by nature. - French Proverb

It is a wise father that knows his own child. - William Shakespeare

One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters. - George Herbert

Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown

How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford

Don't talk about a rope in the house of someone whose father was hung. - Colin Farrell

The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli

In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown

Necessity may be the mother of invention, but play is certainly the father. - Roger von Oech

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher

My father used to say, "Don't raise your voice. Improve your argument." - Desmond Tutu

My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey

My father had a piano that was a nickelodeon - put a nickel, and the roller would play. - Frank Sinatra

I'm so ugly my father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. - Rodney Dangerfield

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd

I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

The most important thing my father taught me is that every man has to stand up for his rights. - Ziggy Marley

They say that life is a lot like golf - don't believe them. Golf is a lot more complicated. - Gardner Dickinson

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope

Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway

That he delights in the misery of others no man will confess, and yet what other motive can make a father cruel? - Joseph Addison

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. - Rodney Dangerfield

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill

My father instilled in me that if you don't see things happening the way you want them to, you get out there and make them happen. - Susan Powter

My father was a baker and a lot of people do what their families did and I could have done that but I wanted to stay in show business. - Christopher Walken

Luke, you can destroy the Emperor. He has foreseen this. It is your destiny. Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son. - Darth Vader

How shall a man escape from his ancestors, or draw off from his veins the black drop which he drew from his father’s or mother's life? - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I don't know him very well... I've played him at golf and beat him badly both times, and I think that probably had a negative impact on him. - Donald Trump

Chutzpa is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. - Leo Rosten


see also   Golf  Section
Father Sayings for Father’s Day
Father’s Day Selfie
Ways to say “Dad” in Different Languages

 

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20-Oct-2019