Fatherly Advice

Dad & Son talk... be-fore it’s too late!


A father spoke to his son, “It’s time we had a little talk, my son. Soon you will have urges and feelings you’ve never had before. Your heart will pound and your hands will sweat. You’ll be preoccupied and won’t be able to think of anything else.”

He added, “But don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal... it’s called golf.”


QuotaBills
A father is a banker provided by nature. - French Proverb

One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters. - George Herbert

Golf is an easy game, it's just hard to play. - Unknown

Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father. - Greg Norman

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic. - Spike Milligan

Hold me, grip me, cherish me, pretend that I'm a golf club! - Unknown

She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx

Every child needs a father. Even if he turns out to be Darth Vader. - Jackson Radcliffe

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings. - Jay London

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey

I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course? - Babe Ruth

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams

How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower

It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was. - Anne Sexton

Those who slew my father I drove into exile... and defeated them in battle. - Augustus

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown

It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father. - Pope John XXIII

My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey

My father used to say, "If you want to be different, do something different." - Wynton Marsalis

Middle Age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature. - Harold Coffin

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course. - Unknown

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd

They say that life is a lot like golf - don't believe them. Golf is a lot more complicated. - Gardner Dickinson

Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. - WC Fields

I want to die like my father; peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers. - Bob Monkhouse

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. - Rodney Dangerfield

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years. - Ernest Hemingway

My father said there were two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better. - Marlo Thomas

My father was a baker and a lot of people do what their families did and I could have done that but I wanted to stay in show business. - Christopher Walken

When I was nine, my father said 'You can take piano lessons or do karate' - I had a black belt and was competing before I was 19. - Elodie Yung

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump

How shall a man escape from his ancestors, or draw off from his veins the black drop which he drew from his father’s or mother's life? - Ralph Waldo Emerson


see also   Golf  Section
Father Sayings for Father’s Day
Father’s Day Selfie
Ways to say “Dad” in Different Languages

 

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23-Apr-2019