Fatherly Advice

Dad & Son talk... be-fore it’s too late!


A father spoke to his son, “It’s time we had a little talk, my son. Soon you will have urges and feelings you’ve never had before. Your heart will pound and your hands will sweat. You’ll be preoccupied and won’t be able to think of anything else.”

He added, “But don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal... it’s called golf.”


QuotaBills
Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player

Golf, like measles, should be caught young. - P G Wodehouse

Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown

The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get. - Tim Russert

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic. - Spike Milligan

If it weren't for golf, I'd probably be a caddie today. - George Archer

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings. - Jay London

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey

Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! - Lydia Child

How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd

It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was. - Anne Sexton

My heart is happy, my mind is free.
I had a father who talked with me. - Hilde Bigelow

The Holy Father's newest Encyclacle? Like anyone cares what he rides around on. - Archie Bunker

I haven't taught people in 50 years what my father taught by example in one week. - Mario Cuomo

My father used to say, "Don't raise your voice. Improve your argument." - Desmond Tutu

Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones

I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. - Mark Twain

You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. - Robert Frost

I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

The most important thing my father taught me is that every man has to stand up for his rights. - Ziggy Marley

Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. - WC Fields

I want to die like my father; peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers. - Bob Monkhouse

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope

Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. - Matthew 5:14-16

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill

Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump

Luke, you can destroy the Emperor. He has foreseen this. It is your destiny. Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son. - Darth Vader

I once said to my father, when I was a boy, 'Dad we need a third political party.' He said to me, 'I'll settle for a second.' - Ralph Nader

Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles. - Chi Chi Rodriguez


see also   Golf  Section
Father Sayings for Father’s Day
Father’s Day Selfie
Ways to say “Dad” in Different Languages

 

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28-Jun-2017