Fatherly Advice

Dad & Son talk... be-fore it’s too late!


A father spoke to his son, “It’s time we had a little talk, my son. Soon you will have urges and feelings you’ve never had before. Your heart will pound and your hands will sweat. You’ll be preoccupied and won’t be able to think of anything else.”

He added, “But don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal... it’s called golf.”


QuotaBills
Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain

The Child is father of the Man. - William Wordsworth

Golf, like measles, should be caught young. - P G Wodehouse

It is a wise father that knows his own child. - William Shakespeare

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx

My father... one of the great immorals, er, immortals, of our time. - WC Fields

Every child needs a father. Even if he turns out to be Darth Vader. - Jackson Radcliffe

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings. - Jay London

My father was grounded, a very meat-and-potatoes man. He was a baker. - Anthony Hopkins

I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course? - Babe Ruth

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers

How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford

In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. - Clarence B. Kelland

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon

I'm so ugly my father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. - Rodney Dangerfield

Sometimes the game of golf is just too difficult to endure with a golf club in your hands. - Bobby Jones

You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. - Robert Frost

I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer

They say that life is a lot like golf - don't believe them. Golf is a lot more complicated. - Gardner Dickinson

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl

Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown

Golf is like a love affair: If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. - Arthur Daley

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill

My father instilled in me that if you don't see things happening the way you want them to, you get out there and make them happen. - Susan Powter

My father said there were two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better. - Marlo Thomas

When I was nine, my father said 'You can take piano lessons or do karate' - I had a black belt and was competing before I was 19. - Elodie Yung

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump

Luke, you can destroy the Emperor. He has foreseen this. It is your destiny. Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son. - Darth Vader

Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles. - Chi Chi Rodriguez

I don't know him very well... I've played him at golf and beat him badly both times, and I think that probably had a negative impact on him. - Donald Trump

Chutzpa is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. - Leo Rosten


see also   Golf  Section
Father Sayings for Father’s Day
Father’s Day Selfie
Ways to say “Dad” in Different Languages

 

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17-Aug-2017