Fatherly Advice

Dad & Son talk... be-fore it’s too late!


A father spoke to his son, “It’s time we had a little talk, my son. Soon you will have urges and feelings you’ve never had before. Your heart will pound and your hands will sweat. You’ll be preoccupied and won’t be able to think of anything else.”

He added, “But don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal... it’s called golf.”


QuotaBills
Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player

It is a wise father that knows his own child. - William Shakespeare

Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. - Luke 23:24

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father. - Greg Norman

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic. - Spike Milligan

Every child needs a father. Even if he turns out to be Darth Vader. - Jackson Radcliffe

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey

I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course? - Babe Ruth

Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! - Lydia Child

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers

Don't talk about a rope in the house of someone whose father was hung. - Colin Farrell

In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown

My heart is happy, my mind is free.
I had a father who talked with me. - Hilde Bigelow

Necessity may be the mother of invention, but play is certainly the father. - Roger von Oech

My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. - Clarence B. Kelland

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain

One of the most important things a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Ray Chenoweth

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. - Mark Twain

Sometimes the game of golf is just too difficult to endure with a golf club in your hands. - Bobby Jones

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

They say that life is a lot like golf - don't believe them. Golf is a lot more complicated. - Gardner Dickinson

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller

Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway

That he delights in the misery of others no man will confess, and yet what other motive can make a father cruel? - Joseph Addison

Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Luke, you can destroy the Emperor. He has foreseen this. It is your destiny. Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son. - Darth Vader

I once said to my father, when I was a boy, 'Dad we need a third political party.' He said to me, 'I'll settle for a second.' - Ralph Nader

Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles. - Chi Chi Rodriguez


see also   Golf  Section
Father Sayings for Father’s Day
Father’s Day Selfie
Ways to say “Dad” in Different Languages

 

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20-Oct-2017