Fatherly Advice

Dad & Son talk... be-fore it’s too late!


A father spoke to his son, “It’s time we had a little talk, my son. Soon you will have urges and feelings you’ve never had before. Your heart will pound and your hands will sweat. You’ll be preoccupied and won’t be able to think of anything else.”

He added, “But don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal... it’s called golf.”


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No. I am your Father. - Darth Vader

The Child is father of the Man. - William Wordsworth

Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player

Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. - Paul Gallico

If it weren't for golf, I'd probably be a caddie today. - George Archer

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings. - Jay London

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd

Necessity may be the mother of invention, but play is certainly the father. - Roger von Oech

Those who slew my father I drove into exile... and defeated them in battle. - Augustus

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

My father used to say, "Don't raise your voice. Improve your argument." - Desmond Tutu

My father used to say, "If you want to be different, do something different." - Wynton Marsalis

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain

I'm so ugly my father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. - Rodney Dangerfield

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. - Mark Twain

One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course. - Unknown

I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

The most important thing my father taught me is that every man has to stand up for his rights. - Ziggy Marley

They say that life is a lot like golf - don't believe them. Golf is a lot more complicated. - Gardner Dickinson

I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. - WC Fields

I want to die like my father; peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers. - Bob Monkhouse

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway

That he delights in the misery of others no man will confess, and yet what other motive can make a father cruel? - Joseph Addison

To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years. - Ernest Hemingway

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill

My father said there were two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better. - Marlo Thomas

Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden

Luke, you can destroy the Emperor. He has foreseen this. It is your destiny. Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son. - Darth Vader

I once said to my father, when I was a boy, 'Dad we need a third political party.' He said to me, 'I'll settle for a second.' - Ralph Nader

Chutzpa is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. - Leo Rosten


see also   Golf  Section
Father Sayings for Father’s Day
Father’s Day Selfie
Ways to say “Dad” in Different Languages

 

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19-Feb-2019