Almost Everything’s Bigger in Texas

Home on the Range for an Aussie


A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation and meets an Aussie farmer.

The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, “Oh? We have wheat fields that are at least twice at large!”

Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, “We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows.”

The conversation almost dies when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field.

He asks, “And what are those?”

The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, “Don’t you have any grasshoppers in Texas?”


QuotaBills
Big mouthfuls often choke. - Italian Proverb

Dream big and dare to fail. - Norman Vaughan

I've been big ever since I was little. - William Perry

You have to think anyway, so why not think big? - Donald Trump

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

The big print giveth and the fine print taketh away. - Fulton J Sheen

Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. - Winston Churchill

In plain Texas talk, it's 'do the right thing'. - Ross Perot

My bottom is so big it's got its own gravitational field. - Carol Vorderman

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city. - George Burns

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin

Acting is merely the art of keeping a large group of people from coughing. - Ralph Richardson

Your heaviest artillery will be your will to live. Keep that big gun going. - Norman Cousins

People think a Muslim has to have a turban or a big beard. It's stupid. - T-Pain

Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can. - Danny Kaye

It's the little details that are vital. Little things make big things happen. - John Wooden

Everyone should be paid what he is worth, no matter how big a pay cut is involved. - Unknown

I think the only way I could make something fun and big is if I don't expect it to be. - Markus Persson

Don't tell God that you have a big problem, tell your problem that you have a big God :) - Unknown

The only way to see a movie is in a big theater, on a big screen, with a big bag of popcorn. - Dan Glickman

Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush

Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself; I am large, I contain multitudes. - Walt Whitman

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

The control of large numbers is possible, and like unto that of small numbers, if we subdivide them. - Sun Tze

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. - Thomas Jefferson

Breakfast is my favorite meal. I cook a big one for everyone - bacon and eggs. I own a lot of eggcups. - Emily Mortimer

I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice. - Robin Williams

I'm a big fan of the Irish accent. After a couple of drinks, I start to get a bit of an Irish lilt, too. - Emily Ratajkowski

Piglet noticed that even though he had a very small heart, it could hold a rather large amount of gratitude. - A.A. Milne

Inherited wealth is a big handicap to happiness. It is as certain death to ambition as cocaine is to morality. - William K Vanderbilt

My big focus is China and OPEC and all of these countries that are just absolutely destroying the United States. - Donald Trump

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

With 'The A-Team,' it was like, 'Alright, I'm going to do a big popcorn movie and see how that feels.' - Joe Carnahan

The space in a needle's eye is sufficient for two friends, but the whole world is scarcely big enough to hold two enemies. - Solomon Ibn Gabirol

I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love. - Marilyn Monroe

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

I'm very anxious to see who the fans choose for their favorite finalist. Their decision could have a big effect on my ultimate decision. - Donald Trump

I become apprehensive when I observe people in large groups because they are often controlled by their emotions - and from there, emerge as mobs. - W. Andrew Welker

Don't listen to those who say you're taking too big a chance. If no one ever took risks, Michelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor. - Neil Simon

Your surfing can get better on every turn, on every wave you catch. Learn to read the ocean better. A big part of my success has been wave knowledge. - Kelly Slater


see also   Farm  Section
Everything Is Bigger In Texas
My Daughter & My Money
Survivor - Texas Style (2013)
Texas Bank Security
Texas Office Chair
Texas Wink
Why We Live in Texas

 

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21-Oct-2019