Hospital Gown Insurance or Ass-urance?

Q: How is a Hospital Gown like insurance?
A: You’re never covered as much as you think you are.



Hospital Gown Insurance and Assurance

Why ICU is an acronym for Hospital Gowns

QuotaBills
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

In a mad world only the mad are sane. - Akira Kurosawa

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

Hollywood is an asylum run by the inmates. - Laurence Stallings

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. - Terry Pratchett

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane. - Philip K. Dick

A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - O.S. Marden

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. - Edgar W. Howe

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler


see also   Hospital  Section
Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s?
Bed Friends
Big Birth - They Start Off Big At This Hospital
Brain Transplant
Camping For Seniors
Cell Phone For Seniors
Coke Dispenser
Corn Maze For Old People
Daily Exercise for Seniors
Dementia Purse
Dementia Relations
Dr. Paul Dhillon - Sierra Leone Ebola Clinic
Dreams Come True
Handicap Porch
Hedge Face
Hopscotch for Seniors
Hospital Friends
Is Laughter The Best Medicine?
Mal Nutrition
Manitoba Health Care’s Test For Alzheimers
Mechanical Patient
Once A Kid, Always A Kid
Redneck ATV
Redneck Wheelchair Stroller
Senile Agitation
Senior Center Reminder
Snow Birth
Time For a Trade-In?
Winter Tree
Working Past 65
Worst Aid

 

Someone Cares

Pure Maple Syrup

Wife Consumption

Go Play Outside

Pail Face

Crossed Paths

Shopping Bike

Miss Beautiful Spine

Art School Graduate

Fish Diet Meal

Tall Secret

Fishnet Stockings

Dog Proctologist

Calculated Jump

Stowaway Soccer Fan

Don't Drink And Climb

Milky Way

Maid Confusion

Student Food Strainer

Shark Circles
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24-Jun-2018