Pizza Order in 2020

Order tracking in the future


Operator: “Thank you for calling Olympic Pizza. May I have your...”

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to order.”

Operator: “May I have your NIDN first, sir?”

Customer: “My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh… it’s 6102049798-45-54610.”

Operator: “Thank you, Mr. Ward. I see you live at 1642 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number’s 495-2177. Your office number over at Squamish Insurance is 745-2305 and your cell number’s 276-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?”

Customer: “Huh? I’m at home. Where d’ya get all this information?”

Operator: “We’re wired into the system, sir.”

Customer: (Sighs) “Oh, well, I’d like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special Luge pizzas - the one that the street luge guy almost ordered...”

Operator: “I don’t think that’s a good idea, sir.”

Customer: “Whaddya mean?”

Operator: “Sir, your medical records indicate that you’ve got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won’t allow such an unhealthy choice.”

Customer: “Dang. What do you recommend, then?”

Operator: “You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I’m sure you’ll like it.”

Customer: “What makes you think I’d like something like that?”

Operator: “Well, you checked out “Gourmet Soybean Recipes” on Google last week, sir. That’s why I made the suggestion.”

Customer: “All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then. What’s that cost?”

Operator: “That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. The “damage,” as you refer to in several of your past emails to us, comes to $49.99.”

Customer: “Lemme give you my credit card number.”

Operator: “I’m sorry sir, but I’m afraid you’ll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit.”

Customer: “I’ll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here.”

Operator: “That won’t work either, sir. Your checking account is overdrawn.”

Customer: “Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I’ll have the cash ready. How long will it take?”

Operator: “We’re running a little behind - it’ll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you’re in a hurry you might want to pick ’em up while you’re out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward.”

Customer: “How the heck do you know I’m riding a bike?”

Operator: “It says here you’re in arrears on your car payments, so your car got reposessed. But your Harley’s paid up, so I just assumed that you’d be using it.”

Customer: “@#%/$@&?#!”

Operator: “I’d advise watching your language, sir. You’ve already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop.”

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: “Will there be anything else, sir?”

Customer: “No, nothing. Oh, yeah, don’t forget the two free liters of Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas.”

Operator: “I’m sorry sir, but our ad’s exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics.”


QuotaBills
Justice is incidental to law and order. - J Edgar Hoover

Law is order, and good law is good order. - Aristotle

No, it's all in perfect working order. - Spike Milligan

Law and order are not necessarily partners. - Saying

Good order is the foundation of all things. - Edmund Burke

Life is too short not to order the bacon dessert. - George Takei

When life gives you lemons, order the lobster tail. - Ziad K. Abdelnour

In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different. - Coco Chanel

Do your job and demand your compensation - but in that order. - Cary Grant

In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily. - Count Talleyrand

In order to see birds it is necessary to become a part of the silence. - Robert Lynd

We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves in order to be like other people. - Arthur Schopenhauer

I must be willing to give up what I am in order to become what I will be. - Albert Einstein

I shudder to think that one day someone may give the same order for Rome. - Scipio Aemilianus

The greatest masterpiece in literature is only a dictionary out of order. - Jean Cocteau

When I quote others I do so in order to express my own ideas more clearly. - Michel de Montaigne

In order to understand the world, one has to turn away from it on occasion. - Albert Camus

In order to carry a positive action we must develop here a positive vision. - Dalai Lama

I keep on making what I can't do yet in order to learn to be able to do it. - Vincent van Gogh

You don't know how hard I found it, signing the order to terminate your life. - Governor Grand Moff Tarkin

In order to be big, you have to think big. If you think small, you're going to be small. - Emeril Lagasse

I am a writer of books in retrospect. I talk in order to understand; I teach in order to learn. - Robert Frost

She needed the chaos within her in order to discover the extraordinary no man could ever reach. - Robert M. Drake

Life is like a bank account. You must put something in it in order for you to take anything out. - Joe Segal

Old minds are like old horses; you must exercise them if you wish to keep them in working order. - John Adams

In order to live free and happily you must sacrifice boredom. It is not always an easy sacrifice. - Richard Bach

Order, unity, and continuity are human inventions, just as truly as catalogues and encyclopedias. - Bertrand Russell

Let's be frank, the Italians' technological contribution to humankind stopped with the pizza oven. - Bill Bryson

I don't really drink sodas, but when I have popcorn or pizza I need a little. It's the perfect combination. - Alessandra Ambrosio

I've never sought success in order to get fame and money; it's the talent and the passion that count in success. - Ingrid Bergman

When it comes to politics, I sit down on a sofa and grab some popcorn - or sometimes I crouch down in order not to get shot. - Sergey Galitsky

I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana

Businesses should follow and learn from others' successes and failures in order to better understand and predict their own. - Ben Mezrich

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney

The mathematical sciences particularly exhibit order, symmetry, and limitation; and these are the greatest forms of the beautiful. - Aristotle

I'm always interested in finding the new trend. If you love pizza every day, after 22 years of eating pizza, you want to try sushi. - Jean Pigozzi

The difficulties which I meet with in order to realize my existence are precisely what awaken and mobilize my activities, my capacities. - José Ortega Y Gasset

Cricket - a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity. - Lord Mancroft

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

The men who have done big things are those who were not afraid to attempt big things, who were not afraid to risk failure in order to gain success. - B.C. Forbes


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14-Sep-2019