Pizza Order in 2020

Order tracking in the future


Operator: “Thank you for calling Olympic Pizza. May I have your...”

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to order.”

Operator: “May I have your NIDN first, sir?”

Customer: “My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh… it’s 6102049798-45-54610.”

Operator: “Thank you, Mr. Ward. I see you live at 1642 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number’s 495-2177. Your office number over at Squamish Insurance is 745-2305 and your cell number’s 276-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?”

Customer: “Huh? I’m at home. Where d’ya get all this information?”

Operator: “We’re wired into the system, sir.”

Customer: (Sighs) “Oh, well, I’d like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special Luge pizzas - the one that the street luge guy almost ordered...”

Operator: “I don’t think that’s a good idea, sir.”

Customer: “Whaddya mean?”

Operator: “Sir, your medical records indicate that you’ve got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won’t allow such an unhealthy choice.”

Customer: “Dang. What do you recommend, then?”

Operator: “You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I’m sure you’ll like it.”

Customer: “What makes you think I’d like something like that?”

Operator: “Well, you checked out “Gourmet Soybean Recipes” on Google last week, sir. That’s why I made the suggestion.”

Customer: “All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then. What’s that cost?”

Operator: “That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. The “damage,” as you refer to in several of your past emails to us, comes to $49.99.”

Customer: “Lemme give you my credit card number.”

Operator: “I’m sorry sir, but I’m afraid you’ll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit.”

Customer: “I’ll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here.”

Operator: “That won’t work either, sir. Your checking account is overdrawn.”

Customer: “Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I’ll have the cash ready. How long will it take?”

Operator: “We’re running a little behind - it’ll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you’re in a hurry you might want to pick ’em up while you’re out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward.”

Customer: “How the heck do you know I’m riding a bike?”

Operator: “It says here you’re in arrears on your car payments, so your car got reposessed. But your Harley’s paid up, so I just assumed that you’d be using it.”

Customer: “@#%/$@&?#!”

Operator: “I’d advise watching your language, sir. You’ve already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop.”

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: “Will there be anything else, sir?”

Customer: “No, nothing. Oh, yeah, don’t forget the two free liters of Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas.”

Operator: “I’m sorry sir, but our ad’s exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics.”


QuotaBills
Justice is incidental to law and order. - J Edgar Hoover

No, it's all in perfect working order. - Spike Milligan

Law and order are not necessarily partners. - Saying

Order is the shape upon which beauty depends. - Pearl S. Buck

When life gives you lemons, order the lobster tail. - Ziad K. Abdelnour

Attempt the impossible in order to improve your work. - Bette Davis

In order to be irreplaceacle, one must always be different. - Coco Chanel

People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus

Do your job and demand your compensation - but in that order. - Cary Grant

Fine art and pizza delivery: what we do falls neatly in between. - David Letterman

We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves in order to be like other people. - Arthur Schopenhauer

The greatest masterpiece in literature is only a dictionary out of order. - Jean Cocteau

After exercising I always eat pizza... just kidding. I don't exercise. - Unknown

When I quote others I do so in order to express my own ideas more clearly. - Michel de Montaigne

I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in order. - John Burroughs

I keep on making what I can't do yet in order to learn to be able to do it. - Vincent van Gogh

In order for a thing to be horrible it has to suffer a change you can recognize. - Ray Bradbury

You don't know how hard I found it, signing the order to terminate your life. - Governor Grand Moff Tarkin

When I give a minister an order, I leave it to him to find the means to carry it out. - Napoleon Bonaparte

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six. - Yogi Berra

I am a writer of books in retrospect. I talk in order to understand; I teach in order to learn. - Robert Frost

She needed the chaos within her in order to discover the extraordinary no man could ever reach. - Robert M. Drake

I actually lost 90 pounds over the course of 15 months in order to save money on life insurance. - Derek Kilmer

Old minds are like old horses; you must exercise them if you wish to keep them in working order. - John Adams

In order to live free and happily you must sacrifice boredom. It is not always an easy sacrifice. - Richard Bach

Order, unity, and continuity are human inventions, just as truly as catalogues and encyclopedias. - Bertrand Russell

I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves. - Ludwig Wittgenstein

Let's be frank, the Italians' technological contribution to humankind stopped with the pizza oven. - Bill Bryson

Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang

The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible. - Fred Smith

I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana

Businesses should follow and learn from others' successes and failures in order to better understand and predict their own. - Ben Mezrich

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney

The mathematical sciences particularly exhibit order, symmetry, and limitation; and these are the greatest forms of the beautiful. - Aristotle

I'm always interested in finding the new trend. If you love pizza every day, after 22 years of eating pizza, you want to try sushi. - Jean Pigozzi

The difficulties which I meet with in order to realize my existence are precisely what awaken and mobilize my activities, my capacities. - José Ortega Y Gasset

Cricket - a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity. - Lord Mancroft

Sometimes, in order to follow our moral compass and/or our hearts, we have to make unpopular decisions or stand up for what we believe in. - Tabatha Coffey

Among creatures born into chaos, a majority will imagine an order, a minority will question the order, and the rest will be pronounced insane. - Robert Brault

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia


see also   Pizza,  Relationship  &  Shopping  Sections
Pizza Cutter

 

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Rat Toys

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Apple Art

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Lazy People Make Excellent Engineers

Spaghetti Western

Under The Weather
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20-May-2019