Good morning, ladies and gentlemen! This is your captain Banta Singh welcoming you to Punjabi Airways. We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off, owing to bad weather and some overtime I had put in at the bakery. This is flight 126 to New Delhi. Landing in Delhi is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in the East. And if luck is in our favour, we may even be landing on your village!
Punjabi Airways has an excellent record for safety. In fact, our safety standards are so high that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us! I take great pleasure in announcing that starting this year, over 50 per cent of our passengers have reached their destination. For the ones that don’t quite make it, Punjabi Airways staff have all the requisite experience for consoling the kith and kin. Our stewardess Bubbly will be happy to brief you on our out-of-court settlement policies.
If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off! To make your free fall to earth, pleasant and memorable, we serve complimentary tea and biscuits, provided you have paid for the coupons twice!
For our religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God!
We regret to inform you, that today’s in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television. But for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to Air India, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window.
Smoking is not allowed in this airplane. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down! Life jackets are positioned under your seats and free bathing costumes are made available to the aunts and swimming shorts to the uncles, for emergency jumps!
In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible for the best view. However, if we go a little too close, do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!
Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and fasten your belt. For those of you who can’t find a seat belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. And for those of you who can’t find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a flight attendant for your suitcase.
Sorry, but I won’t be flying with you today because I have to attend my nephew’s wedding. Thank you for choosing Punjabi Airways. Have a nice journey!
Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible. - Lord Kelvin
Roasted pigeons will not fly into one's mouth. - Dutch Proverb
Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. - Unknown
Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly. - G K Chesterton
If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. - Mel Brooks
He imagines a necessary joy in things that must fly to eat. - Wendell Berry
The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets. - Al McGuire
The higher we soar the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
Our Air Corps reunion was held to rememmorate the great things we done. - Archie Bunker
The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott
If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb
Something in the air this morning made me feel like flying... Spring Flight - Eileen Granfors
The nation that secures control of the air will ultimately control the world. - Alexander Graham Bell
I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters
Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo. - Al Gore
If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport. - Jonathan Winters
It's OK to have butterflies in your stomach. Just get them to fly in formation. - Rob Gilbert
Now that I've found the way to fly, which direction should I go into the night? - Ally Condie
He who waits for a roast duck to fly into his mouth must wait a very, very long time. - Chinese Proverb
We breathe air, trees make air, homework kills trees, therefore homework is going to kill us all. - Unknown
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny
Caesar dreamed that he was flying above the clouds, and now that he was clasping the hand of Jupiter. - Suetonius
I don't like all this fresh air: I'm from Los Angeles; I don't trust any air I can't see. - Bob Hope
Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything. - Plato
The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. - Mark Russell
I am the astronaut of boxing. Joe Louis and Jack Dempsey were just jet pilots. I'm in a world of my own. - Muhammad Ali
Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny
When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it. - Henry Ford
A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
So just what are time flies, and why do they fly like an arrow? - Groucho Marx
A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse
The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings. - J.M. Barrie
Bruce Lee's fast pace, Jet Li's pretty style and Jet Li's acrobatics combine with Muay Thai for my own style. - Tony Jaa
With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff. - Rodney Dangerfield
If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them. - Henry David Thoreau
Aim at the sun, and you may not reach it; but your arrow will fly far higher than if aimed at an object on a level with yourself. - Joel Hawes
If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of twenty-two, it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation. - Tom Stoppard
Southwest Airlines is successful because the company understands it's a customer service company. It also happens to be an airline. - Harvey Mackay
I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright
Love is like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. But there’s no need to be frightened, because that plane is still on the ground. - Jarod Kintz
Airplane, Nationality, Safety & Stress Sections
Airbus 2006 - A Tale of Two Pilots
Amish Airlines - Maiden Voyage
India Airlines Economy Flight
Invisible Air Force One
Kulula Airlines - Flying 101
Lutheran Airlines – New Service in Minnesnowta
Middle East Airlines
Plain Plane Seat
Bottom Blast Car Wash
Yo Mama Bin Shopping
Helmet Full Of Hair
Air Conditioner Repair
Walking His Fresh Food Pet
Japanese Tea Bath
Pilot Prop Job
Front To Side View
Moses' USB Tablets
Is Laughter The Best Medicine?
Plastered Wall Plasterer
Cowboy Bubble Bath