Atheist Professor

Religious brain child


A college class was led by an atheist professor, and every day he’d stand in front of his class and say, “Have you ever seen God?” to which nobody would answer. Then he’d ask, “Have you ever felt God?” and nobody would answer. Finally he’d ask, “Have you ever heard God?” and, like the other times, nobody would answer. He then would say, “It is obvious that there is no God.”

One day a Christian student had been having an extremely bad day: her car broke down, her mother was sick, her boyfriend was out of town, and she’d gotten a bad grade on one of her exams. She had been fed up with her professor’s little act every morning, so she decided to do something about it.

While the professor stood up at the beginning of class and did his thing, the student had an idea. She got up and said, “Professor, would you mind if I said something?”
He said, “Of course not. This is an expressive classroom, and I think it would be fine if you spoke your mind.”

The girl said to the class, “Have you ever seen our professor’s brain?” and nobody answered. Then she asked, “Have you ever felt our professor’s brain?” and nobody answered. Finally she asked, “Have you ever heard our professor’s brain?” and, like the other times, nobody answered.

She then said, “It is quite obvious that our professor has no brain.”




QuotaBills
A good example is the best sermon. - Unknown

Conceit is God's gift to little men. - Bruce Barton

I will praise any man that will praise me. - William Shakespeare

Some Catlick priest sprinkling incest over everyone. - Archie Bunker

It is more difficult to praise rightly than to blame. - Thomas Fuller

It only rains straight down. God doesn't do windows. - Steven Wright

Tea is the magic key to the vault where my brain is kept. - Frances Hardinge

A classic is a book which people praise and don't read. - Mark Twain

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. - Mark Twain

If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us air tickets. - Mel Brooks

God made rainy days so gardeners could get the housework done. - Unknown

The important things are children, honesty, integrity and faith. - Andy Williams

If God had wanted me otherwise, he would have created me otherwise. - Johann von Goethe

In the name of God, stop a moment, cease your work, look around you. - Leo Tolstoy

It's not dying for faith that's so hard, it's living up to it. - William Makepeace Thackeray

Only faith in Christ gives rise to a culture contrary to egotism and death. - Pope John Paul II

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

I suppose the best kind of spring morning is the best weather God has to offer. - Dodie Smith

We make our friends. We make our enemies. But God makes our next-door neighbour. - G K Chesterton

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

Grandchildren are God's rewards to grandparents for not shooting their children. - Unknown

If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology. - Jay Leno

An author in his book must be like God in the universe: present everywhere and visible nowhere. - Gustave Flaubert

Talent is God-given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be thankful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful. - Harvey Mackay

Do not look down upon any Muslim, for even the most inferior believer is great in the eyes of God. - Abu Bakr

Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet. - Frederick Buechner

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum. - Havelock Ellis

The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon. - Eric Ericksen

God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die. - Bill Watterson

You must mind and not lower the Church in people's eyes by seeming to be frightened about it for such a little thing. - George Eliot

If there be a God, I think that what he would like me to do is paint as much of the map of Africa British red as possible. - Cecil Rhodes

It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels worthy of himself and claims kindred to the great God who made him. - Abraham Lincoln

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. - Romans 8:28

If I'm losing balance in a pose, I stretch higher and God reaches down to steady me. It works every time, and not just in yoga. - T. Guillemets

People are so shocked when they find... out I am Protestant. I am Presbyterian. And I go to church, and I love God, and I love my church. - Donald Trump

To have a curable illness and to leave it untreated except for prayer is like sticking your hand in a fire and asking God to remove the flame. - Sandra L. Douglas

I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen

If you think that nobility consists of having sixteen ancestors rather than merit, great Prince, then you may - and you may also praise or condemn me. - Franz Grillparzer


see also   Religious  Section
Brain Logic

Ain’t Peter's Place
All Dogs Go To Heaven
An Evening Prayer
Autographed Copy
Biblical Humour
Breakable Postal Package
Catch Up With Jesus
Church Sign Generator
Church Sign Messages
Church Signs
Da End Iss Near
Daily Inspiration
Day of Light and Darkness
Dead Sea Fish
Equal Rights Church
For Your Synths
God’s Little Instructions
Golfing Nun
Halo to the Holy Dog
How To Tweet Others
In-Spired Safety Tip
Job Interview With God
John The Baptist Souvenirs
Letters to God - From Children
New School Prayer
Organ Donor
Please Help My Car
Rabbi Road
Redneck Revenge
Reformed Buddhists
Superior Church
The End Is Near
The Eye of God
The Very First King Size Bed
Wash Away Sins
With The Pope
World’s Oldest Menorah
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

 

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19-Jan-2019