Atheist Professor

Religious brain child


A college class was led by an atheist professor, and every day he’d stand in front of his class and say, “Have you ever seen God?” to which nobody would answer. Then he’d ask, “Have you ever felt God?” and nobody would answer. Finally he’d ask, “Have you ever heard God?” and, like the other times, nobody would answer. He then would say, “It is obvious that there is no God.”

One day a Christian student had been having an extremely bad day: her car broke down, her mother was sick, her boyfriend was out of town, and she’d gotten a bad grade on one of her exams. She had been fed up with her professor’s little act every morning, so she decided to do something about it.

While the professor stood up at the beginning of class and did his thing, the student had an idea. She got up and said, “Professor, would you mind if I said something?”
He said, “Of course not. This is an expressive classroom, and I think it would be fine if you spoke your mind.”

The girl said to the class, “Have you ever seen our professor’s brain?” and nobody answered. Then she asked, “Have you ever felt our professor’s brain?” and nobody answered. Finally she asked, “Have you ever heard our professor’s brain?” and, like the other times, nobody answered.

She then said, “It is quite obvious that our professor has no brain.”




QuotaBills
Conscience is God present in man. - Victor Hugo

He was a wise man who invented God. - Plato

I find your lack of faith disturbing. - Darth Vader

Praise the ripe field, not the green corn. - Unknown

In doing what we ought we deserve no praise. - St. Augustine

Friends are God's apology for relatives. - Hugh Kingsmill

We steal if we touch tomorrow. It is God's. - Henry Ward Beecher

Humankind's ladder to God is a ladder of deeds. - Sholem Asch

Enthusiasm is a kind of faith that has been set afire. - George Matthew Adams

The heart that is generous and kind most resembles God. - Robert Burns

The day before me is fraught with God knows what horrors. - John Kennedy Toole

He has all the characteristics of a god - except loyalty. - Sam Houston

A classic is a book which people praise and don't read. - Mark Twain

Faith is the daring of the soul to go farther than it can see. - William Newton Clark

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Without faith, a man can do nothing; with it, all things are possible. - William Osler

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

Only faith in Christ gives rise to a culture contrary to egotism and death. - Pope John Paul II

There is a world of practical religion in simply being considerate of others. - Roger Babson

I read the book of Job last night. I don't think God comes out well in it. - Virginia Woolf

God does not care about our mathematical difficulties. He integrates empirically. - Albert Einstein

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. - Dorothy Parker

The church is close, but the road is icey. The tavern is far, but I will walk carefully. - Russian Proverb

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence. - Bertrand Russell

Are you saying that the Rebel Alliance were religious terrorists and Yoda was a benefit cheat? - Dave Turner

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen

The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown

I know why the sun never sets on the British Empire: God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark. - Duncan Spaeth

Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

The task of organized religion is not to prove that God was in the 1st century, but that he is in the 20th. - S.H. Miller

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. - Emo Philips

God's blessings are dispensed according to the riches of his grace, not according to the depth of our faith. - Max Lucado

If there be a God, I think that what he would like me to do is paint as much of the map of Africa British red as possible. - Cecil Rhodes

The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today. Let us move forward with strong and active faith. - Franklin D Roosevelt

He who begins with Metaphysics will not only become confused in matters of religion, but will fall into complete infidelity. - Maimonides

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. - George Burns

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. - Romans 8:28

As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. - Woody Allen

The essential element in personal magnetism is a consuming sincerity - an overwhelming faith in the importance of the work one has to do. - Bruce Barton

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. - Reinhold Niebuhr


see also   Religious  Section
Brain Logic

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23-Mar-2019