Atheist Professor

Religious brain child


A college class was led by an atheist professor, and every day he’d stand in front of his class and say, “Have you ever seen God?” to which nobody would answer. Then he’d ask, “Have you ever felt God?” and nobody would answer. Finally he’d ask, “Have you ever heard God?” and, like the other times, nobody would answer. He then would say, “It is obvious that there is no God.”

One day a Christian student had been having an extremely bad day: her car broke down, her mother was sick, her boyfriend was out of town, and she’d gotten a bad grade on one of her exams. She had been fed up with her professor’s little act every morning, so she decided to do something about it.

While the professor stood up at the beginning of class and did his thing, the student had an idea. She got up and said, “Professor, would you mind if I said something?”
He said, “Of course not. This is an expressive classroom, and I think it would be fine if you spoke your mind.”

The girl said to the class, “Have you ever seen our professor’s brain?” and nobody answered. Then she asked, “Have you ever felt our professor’s brain?” and nobody answered. Finally she asked, “Have you ever heard our professor’s brain?” and, like the other times, nobody answered.

She then said, “It is quite obvious that our professor has no brain.”




QuotaBills
Religion is the opiate of the masses. - Karl Marx

Conceit is God's gift to little men. - Bruce Barton

If God be for us, who can be against us? - Romans 8:31

Faith which does not doubt is dead faith. - Miguel de Unamuno

A politician... one that would circumvent God. - William Shakespeare

When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say. - Henny Youngman

God is not interested in your art but, your heart. - Ifeanyi E. Onuoha

If God can work through me, he can work through anyone. - Saint Francis of Assisi

I will be the greatest jobs president that God ever created. - Donald Trump

Praise is the only gift for which people are really grateful. - Marguerite

What a lover's heart knows let no man's brain dispute. - Aberjhani

I cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

I am as bad as the worst, but, thank God, I am as good as the best. - Walt Whitman

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. - Mark Twain

Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark. - Rabindranath Tagore

Only faith in Christ gives rise to a culture contrary to egotism and death. - Pope John Paul II

Thank God men cannot as yet fly and lay waste the sky as well as the earth. - Henry David Thoreau

God does not care about our mathematical difficulties. He integrates empirically. - Albert Einstein

I won't give up, no matter what happens. I thank God for my unconquerable soul. - William Henley

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. - Desmond Tutu

Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day

The value of persistent prayer is not that he will hear us, but that we will finally hear him. - William McGill

If God had intended for breasts to be seen, He wouldn't have created large woolen pullovers. - Tracey Ullman

Open your eyes that you might see that all things are possible through you (with God's help). - Robert A. Schuller

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen

There is much in the world to make us afraid. There is much more in our faith to make us unafraid. - Frederick W. Cropp

A word of encouragement during failure is worth more than a dictionary of praise following success. - Unknown

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. - Bible

You can't let praise or criticism get to you. It's a weakness to get caught up in either one. - John Wooden

I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls in to line. - Lucille Ball

The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public. - George Jessel

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. - Emo Philips

The Brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up and does not stop until you get into the office. - Robert Frost

It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels worthy of himself and claims kindred to the great God who made him. - Abraham Lincoln

When you inhale, you are taking the strength from God. When you exhale, it represents the service you are giving to the world. - B.K. Iyengar

God is dead: but considering the state the species Man is in, there will perhaps be caves, for ages yet, in which his shadow will be shown. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

It's all nonsense. It's only nonsense. I'm not afraid of the rain. I am not afraid of the rain. Oh, oh, God, I wish I wasn't. - Ernest Hemingway

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen


see also   Religious  Section
Brain Logic

Ain’t Peter's Place
All Dogs Go To Heaven
An Evening Prayer
Autographed Copy
Biblical Humour
Breakable Postal Package
Catch Up With Jesus
Church Sign Generator
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Da End Iss Near
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Day of Light and Darkness
Dead Sea Fish
Equal Rights Church
For Your Synths
God’s Little Instructions
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Halo to the Holy Dog
How To Tweet Others
In-Spired Safety Tip
Job Interview With God
John The Baptist Souvenirs
Letters to God - From Children
New School Prayer
Organ Donor
Please Help My Car
Rabbi Road
Redneck Revenge
Reformed Buddhists
Superior Church
The End Is Near
The Eye of God
The Very First King Size Bed
Wash Away Sins
With The Pope
World’s Oldest Menorah
Youth Pastor’s Last Speech

 

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17-Jun-2019