Learn Chinese In 5 Minutes!

Use your best Chinese accent when translating English to Chinese


LESSON  ONE

What you 1 from me?

[Lim Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with....]

“1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to pee. But couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run until I fall 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away. So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also ask me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.”

LESSON  TWO

• Ah Tink Yu Fa Ni!:   “You have a good sense of humour!”
• Ai Bang Mai Ne:  “I bumped into the coffee table”
• Ai No Pei:  “I got this for free”
• Chin Tu Fat:  “Have you considered a face lift?”
• Dum Gai:   “A stupid or dubm person”
• Dung On Mai Shu:   “I stepped in shog dit”
• Fat He:   “An unattractive person”
• Gun Pao Der:   “An ancient Chinese invention”
• Hao Long Wei Ting:   “When is the bus due?”
• Hia Dei Kum:   “They have arrived”
• Hu Flung Dung:   “Which one of you fertilised the field?”
• Hu Yu Hai Ding:   “Are you harbouring a fugitive?”
• Jan Ne Ka Sun:   “A former late night talk show host”
• Kum Hia Nao:   “I'd like to talk to you ASAP”
• Lao Ze:   “Not very good”
• Lao Ze Sho:   “Obnoxious Fiance”
• Lei Ying Loh:   “Keep out of sight”
• Lei Tsho:   “Midnight television programme”
• Lin Ching:   “An illegal execution”
• Ming Toy:   “Plaything belonging to ancient emperor”
• Moon Lan Ding:   “One small step for man”
• Ne Ahn:   “A lighting fixture used in advertising signs”
• No Bai Nut Ding:   “Your price is too high”
• Noh Pah King:   “Tow-away zone”
• Noh Tsmo King:   “Cigarettes are hazardous to health”
• Noh Wei Ding:   “Keep out of the pond”
• Shai Gai:   “A bashful person”
• Shu Man Go:   “Your body odour is offensive”
• Sum Ting Wong:   “That's not right”
• Tai Ni Bei Bi:   “A premature infant”
• Tai Ni Po Ni:   “A small horse”
• Ten Ding Ba:   “Serving drinks to people”
• Wan Bum Lung:   “A person with TB”
• Wah Shing Kah:   “Cleaning the family car”
• Wai Go Nao:   “Do you really have to leave?”
• Wai So Dim:   “Who turned off the light?”
• Wai Tu Soon:   “A man ahead of his time”
• Wai Yu Kum Nao:   “I thought the meeting was next week”
• Wai Yu Mun Ching:   “I thought you were on a diet?”
• Wai Yu Shao Ting:   “There is no reason to raise your voice”
• Wai Yu Sing Dum Song:   “You know the lyrics to the Macarena?”
• Wai Yu So Tan?:   “Did you go to the beach?”
• Yu Mai Te Tan:   “Your vacation in Hawaii agreed with you”
• Yu So Dim:   “You aren't very bright”
• Yu Stin Ki Pu:   “Your body odour is offensive”


QuotaBills
Fair speech may hide a foul heart. - JRR Tolkien

What we learn to do, we learn by doing. - Aristotle

Poetry is what gets lost in translation. - Robert Frost

I am disappointment in you're grammar. - Unknown

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle

To love others, we must first learn to love ourselves. - Unknown

My joy in learning is partly that it enables me to teach. - Seneca

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

The way to avoid roadblocks to learning is to ask questions. - Joseph J. Thomas

The English have three vegetables and two of them are cabbage. - Walter Page

He who has imagination without learning, has wings and no feet. - Joseph Joubert

Don't try to make me consistent. I am learning all the time. - R Buckminster Fuller

I look like I'm Chinese or Thai or Japanese - very different. - Mary Kom

You can learn little from victory. You can learn everything from defeat. - Christy Mathewson

Grammar is a piano I play by ear. All I know about grammar is its power. - Joan Didion

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

I liked being a teenager, but I would not go back for all the tea in China. - Rob Lowe

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

Learn to laugh at your troubles and you'll never run out of things to laugh at. - Lyn Karol

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

The more you learn about the dignity of the gorilla, the more you want to avoid people. - Dian Fossey

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles. - Garrison Keillor

All men should strive to learn before they die, what they are running from, and to, and why. - James Thurber

Everyone should experience defeat at least once during their career. You learn a lot from it. - Lou Holtz

I am a writer of books in retrospect. I talk in order to understand; I teach in order to learn. - Robert Frost

The most beautiful thing in the world is, precisely, the conjunction of learning and inspiration. - Wanda Landowska

The Romans would never have found time to conquer the world if they had been obliged to learn Latin. - Heinrich Heine

If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you grow old. - Edgar Watson Howe

We learn something every day, and lots of times it's that what we learned the day before was wrong. - Bill Vaughan

You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. - Sam Keen

I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper

Learning does not consist only of knowing what we must or we can do, but also of knowing what we could do and perhaps should not do. - Umberto Eco

I can remember a reporter asking me for a quote, and I didn't know what a quote was. I thought it was some kind of a soft drink. - Joe DiMaggio

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

Each one must learn for himself the highest wisdom. It cannot be taught in words. Men who work cannot dream, and wisdom comes to us in dreams. - Smohalla

When written in Chinese, the word "crisis" is composed of two characters. One represents danger, and the other represents opportunity. - John F Kennedy

Nobody like to fail, but failure is an essential part of life and of learning. If your uniform isn't dirty, you haven't been in the game. - Ben Bernanke

In learning to know other things, and other minds, we become more intimately acquainted with ourselves, and are to ourselves better worth knowing. - Philip Gilbert Hamilton


see also   Confucius,  Daffynitions  &  Language  Sections
“Books Never Written”
Chinese Law School
Chinese Proverbs
Chinese Shoelusion
Chinese Sudoku
Chinese to English Translation
Chu Your Food Well
Fortune Cookies - In Bed
Fuxing Lu
No Fee Chinese Detective

 

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14-Oct-2019