Do You Drive A Cataract?

Optometrist-required translation


A Japanese tourist went to a Canadian eye Doctor. After an examination, the Doctor said, “You have a cataract.”

The Japanese tourist shook his head. “Oh no. I have a Rincoln!”


QuotaBills
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

One may have good eyes and yet see nothing. - Italian proverb

When Irish eyes are smiling, watch your step. - Gerald Kersh

A rich man is never ugly in the eyes of a girl. - French Proverb

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes? - Groucho Marx

The buyer needs a hundred eyes, the seller not one. - George Herbert

Mediocrity is excellence in the eyes of the mediocre. - Joseph Joubert

You want people to think you live in a pig's eye? - Archie Bunker

I'm gonna keep a beagle-eye on you the whole weekend. - Archie Bunker

We must teach our children to dream with their eyes open. - Harry Edwards

The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend. - Henri Bergson

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

Look a pig in its eyes, and understand the truth behind bacon. - Mango Wodzak

She has the eyes of Caligula, but the mouth of Marilyn Monroe. - Francois Mitterrand

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

I look in the mirror through the eyes of the child that was me. - Judy Collins

Conjunctivitis dot com ... now there's a site for sore eyes. - Tim Vine

I still close my eyes and go home... I can always draw from that. - Dolly Parton

If you want to lead the people, you must first speak to their eyes. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Men fall in love with their eyes. Women fall in love with their ears. - Dr. Phil McGraw

When your life flashes before your eyes, make sure it's fun to watch. - MGM Grand Hotel

Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart. - Unknown

I have looked into your eyes with my eyes. I have put my heart near your heart. - Pope John XXIII

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

I need the starshine of your heavenly eyes,
After the day's great sun. - Charles Hanson Towne

Seek the wisdom of the ages, but look at the world through the eyes of a child. - Ron Wild

Competence, like truth, beauty and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder. - Laurence J Peter

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal. - Henry Ford

Whenever a man has cast a longing eye on offices, a rottenness begins in his conduct. - Thomas Jefferson

You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes. Blood coming out of her wherever. - Donald Trump

What a blessing it would be if we could open and shut our ears as easily we do our eyes. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind. - William Shakespeare

Keep your eye out for hot topics and trends. The media is constantly looking for timely stories. - Jim Kukral

Do not look down upon any Muslim, for even the most inferior believer is great in the eyes of God. - Abu Bakr

Be good, keep your feet dry, your eyes open, your heart at peace, and your soul in the joy of Christ. - Thomas Merton

The mind of a bigot is like the pupil of the eye. The more light you shine on it, the more it will contract. - Oliver Wendell Homes, Jr.

My life was going to flash before my eyes, but it decided to hide behind my eyes and quake with terror instead. - Sarah Rees Brennan

When I first open my eyes upon the morning meadows and look out upon the beautiful world, I thank God I am alive. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. - Mark 10:25

When hungry, eat your rice; when tired, close your eyes. Fools may laugh at me, but wise men will know what I mean. - Lin-Chi

Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see life with a clearer view again. - Alex Tan

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

You must mind and not lower the Church in people's eyes by seeming to be frightened about it for such a little thing. - George Eliot

The space in a needle's eye is sufficient for two friends, but the whole world is scarcely big enough to hold two enemies. - Solomon Ibn Gabirol

No, I think that was when Abraham Lincoln signed the Declaration of Independence. Ya know, "Fourscore and 7 years ago." - Archie Bunker

Never look down to test the ground before taking your next step; only he who keeps his eye fixed on the far horizon will find his right road. - Dag Hammarskjold

I've never been able to grow an organ back," Lana said. "Last time I tried... Let's just hope you don't end up with whip eyes. - Michael Grant


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23-Sep-2019