[A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while he was gone. A few days later, he received this report...]
MOST HONOURABLE SIR:
YOU LEAVE HOUSE. I WATCH HOUSE.
HE COME TO HOUSE. I WATCH.
HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE, I FOLLOW.
HE AND SHE GO IN HOTEL.
I CLIMB TREE. I LOOK IN WINDOW.
HE KISS SHE. SHE KISS HE.
HE STRIP SHE. SHE STRIP HE.
HE PLAY WITH SHE. SHE PLAY WITH HE.
I PLAY WITH ME.
I FALL OFF TREE.
I NOT SEE.
Justice is truth in action. - Benjamin Disraeli
The law is silent during war. - Cicero
Common sense often makes good law. - William O Douglas
A bad compromise beats a good lawsuit. - Saying
99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. - Steven Wright
The good of the people is the chief law. - Cicero
Don't judge folks by their relatives. - Unknown
We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller
Law and order are not necessarily partners. - Saying
Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson
I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North
It is not wisdom but authority that makes a law. - Thomas Hobbes
Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain
Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Martial
I have always fought for concrete facts, for justice. - Fidel Castro
Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire
The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - William Shakespeare
Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs. - Unknown
In the Halls of Justice, the only justice is in the halls. - Lenny Bruce
The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb
People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus
Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey
Don't judge me by my past. I don't live there anymore. - Unknown
A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown
Do not judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins. - Native American Proverb
Books should be tried by a judge and jury as though they were crimes. - Samuel Butler
If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law. - Winston Churchill
True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people together. - Unknown
The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields
I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman
Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce
True peace is not merely the absence of tension; it is the presence of justice. - Martin Luther King, Jr.
Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead
If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey, he is obligated to do so. - Thomas Jefferson
A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost
I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright
Justice is the insurance we have on our lives, and obedience is the premium we pay for it. - William Penn
My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain
The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying
If two friends ask you to judge a dispute, don't accept, because you will lose one friend. - St. Augustine
Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again. - Nelson Mandela
Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan
Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes. - Robert Kennedy
No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison
When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand
I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge
We discern across the centuries a commanding and versatile intelligence, wielding with equal force the sword of war and of justice. - Winston Churchill
Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein
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