No Fee Chinese Detective

Looking for the Wong person

[A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while he was gone. A few days later, he received this report...]

MOST HONOURABLE SIR:

YOU LEAVE HOUSE. I WATCH HOUSE.
HE COME TO HOUSE. I WATCH.
HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE, I FOLLOW.
HE AND SHE GO IN HOTEL.
I CLIMB TREE. I LOOK IN WINDOW.
HE KISS SHE. SHE KISS HE.
HE STRIP SHE. SHE STRIP HE.
HE PLAY WITH SHE. SHE PLAY WITH HE.
I PLAY WITH ME.
I FALL OFF TREE.
I NOT SEE.

NO FEE,
CHEN LEE


QuotaBills
Justice is truth in action. - Benjamin Disraeli

Agree, for the law is costly. - William Camden

Whenever law ends, tyranny begins. - John Locke

Generosity is the flower of justice. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno

All children are essentially criminal. - Denis Diderot

The good of the people is the chief law. - Cicero

A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown

In law, nothing is certain but the expense. - Samuel Butler

If you want peace, you must work for justice. - Pope Paul VI

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker

The worst form of injustice is pretended justice. - Plato

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

The power of the lawyer is in the uncertainty of the law. - Jeremy Bentham

It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. - Oscar Wilde

In the Halls of Justice, the only justice is in the halls. - Lenny Bruce

Sometimes justice is at its most merciful when it's blind. - Nancy Gibbs

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx

Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius

Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem

My photographs don't do me justice – they just look like me. - Phyllis Diller

A society that has more justice is a society that needs less charity. - Ralph Nader

Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis

So I will say it with relish. Give me a hamburger but hold the lawsuit. - S.I. Hayakawa

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people together. - Unknown

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson

I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

You cannot live without the lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey, he is obligated to do so. - Thomas Jefferson

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. - Malcolm S Forbes

People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown

No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison

When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand

What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele

A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. - John F Kennedy

Justice, sir, is the great interest of man on earth. It is the ligament which holds civilized beings and civilized nations together. - Daniel Webster

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. - Anatole France


see also   Detective  Section
Chinese Law School
Chinese Proverbs
Chinese Shoelusion
Chinese Sudoku
Chinese to English Translation
Chu Your Food Well
Fortune Cookies - In Bed
Fuxing Lu
Learn Chinese In 5 Minutes!

 

Redneck ATV

Duct Tape - for a Prettier World

Don't Get Your Head In A Knot

Cornfield Fishing

Dawn Gone

Highest Human Position In The World

Together Since

You Never Call

CLUMSY Driver

Water Short

Post Research

Motorcycle Taxi

Columbia Street Party

Fly By Meal

Down Day
Full list of creditsFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

20-Aug-2019