Love Dress

How not to attract your spouse


A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son’s house. She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing; the aroma of perfume filled the room.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m waiting for my husband to come home from work,” the daughter-in-law answered.

“But you’re naked!” the mother-in-law exclaimed.

“This is my love dress,” the daughter-in-law explained.

“Love dress? But you’re naked!”

“My husband loves me to wear this dress,” she explained. “It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can’t get enough of me.”

The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD and laid on the couch! Waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally her husband came home. He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively.

“What are you doing?” he asked.
“This is my love dress,” she whispered, sensually.
“Needs ironing, what’s for dinner?”


QuotaBills
I love treason but hate a traitor. - Julius Caesar

Love is the greatest refreshment in life. - Pablo Picasso

Hatred is never ended by hatred but by love. - Buddhist Saying

Being Irish, I always had this love of words. - Kenneth Branagh

Never go on trips with anyone you do not love. - Ernest Hemingway

I love my rejection slips. They show me I try. - Sylvia Plath

I love children if they're cooked properly. - WC Fields

Love means never having to say you're sorry. - Love Story

Love conquers all things; let us too surrender to love. - Virgil

Love is not to be purchased, and affection has no price. - St. Jerome

Love your enemy. But don't forget he is not your friend. - Paulo Coelho

True love is like little roses, sweet, fragrant in small doses. - Ana Claudia Antunes

Real success is finding your lifework in the work that you love. - David McCullough

Love is something sent from heaven to worry the hell out of you. - Dolly Parton

If there's one thing I know it's God does love a good joke. - Hugh Elliott

A hundred hearts would be too few
To carry all my love for you. - Unknown

There is time for work. And time for love. That leaves no other time. - Coco Chanel

What shall I do to love? Believe.
What shall I do to believe? Love. - Irish Proverb

There is not so variable a thing in nature as a lady's head-dress. - Joseph Addison

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

Give me Caviar Kaspia and give me a hamburger. I love the two extremes. - Michael Kors

I want to be a healer, and love all things that grow and are not barren. - JRR Tolkien

Those who love peace must learn to organize as well as those who love war. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

As I grow to understand life less and less, I learn to love it more and more. - Jules Renard

If grass can grow through cement, love can find you at every time in your life. - Cher

The biggest love affair since Romeo and Juliet is Milton Berle and the audience. - Walter Winchell

Would that thy love, beloved, had less trust in me, that it might be more anxious! - Héloïse d'Argenteuil

I love Canada. I am from Canada. I will bash the Canadian government but never Canada. - Jason Priestley

Let choice whisper in your ear and love murmur in your heart. Be ready, here comes life. - Unknown

When you're in love, it's the most glorious two-and-a-half minutes of your life. - Richard Lewis

In melody divine,
My heart it beats to rapturous love,
I long to call you mine. - Unknown

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

I see their souls, and I hold them in my hands, and because I love them they weigh nothing. - Pearl Bailey

You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. - Sam Keen

You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. - Dr. Seuss

I love thee - I love thee,
'Tis all that I can say
It is my vision in the night,
My dreaming in the day. - Thomas Hood

If I were a flower,
humming bird would be my favourite bee
And If I were blind,
the light of darkness I'd love to see - Munia Khan

Or maybe spring is the season of love and fall the season of mad lust. Spring for flirting but fall for the untamed delicious wild thing. - Elizabeth Cohen

It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes. - Sir Thomas Beecham

Mothers and their children are in a category all their own. There's no bond so strong in the entire world. No love so instantaneous and forgiving. - Gail Tsukiyama


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23-May-2019