Love Dress

How not to attract your spouse


A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son’s house. She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing; the aroma of perfume filled the room.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m waiting for my husband to come home from work,” the daughter-in-law answered.

“But you’re naked!” the mother-in-law exclaimed.

“This is my love dress,” the daughter-in-law explained.

“Love dress? But you’re naked!”

“My husband loves me to wear this dress,” she explained. “It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can’t get enough of me.”

The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD and laid on the couch! Waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally her husband came home. He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively.

“What are you doing?” he asked.
“This is my love dress,” she whispered, sensually.
“Needs ironing, what’s for dinner?”


QuotaBills
Love, and do what you like. - St. Augustine

All's fair in love and war. - John Lyly

Love is a thing as any spirit free. - Geoffrey Chaucer

Those whom the gods love grow young. - Oscar Wilde

Motherhood: All love begins and ends there. - Robert Browning

Being Irish, I always had this love of words. - Kenneth Branagh

Afflicted by love's madness all are blind. - Sextus Propertius

I love children if they're cooked properly. - WC Fields

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Love your enemies, for they tell you your faults. - Benjamin Franklin

Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo. - Groucho Marx

Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness. - Sigmund Freud

To love others, we must first learn to love ourselves. - Unknown

Without love, the rich and poor live in the same house. - Unknown

It's just as easy to love a rich person as a poor one. - Unknown

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live. - Bob Hope

It is possible to be in love with you just because of who you are. - Maggie Stiefvater

To love and win is the best thing. To love and lose, the next best. - William Makepeace Thackeray

Men fall in love with their eyes. Women fall in love with their ears. - Dr. Phil McGraw

Love is a word consisting of two vowels, two consonants, and two fools. - Jeff Rovin

Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit. - Peter Ustinov

Much that passes as idealism is disguised hatred or disguised love of power. - Bertrand Russell

On stage I make love to twenty five thousand people; and then I go home alone. - Janis Joplin

All I want is peace, love, understanding, and a chocolate bar bigger than my head. - Unknown

I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate. - George Burns

It isn't how much we do, but how much love we put into what we do that really counts. - Mother Teresa

In true love the smallest distance is too great, and the greatest distance can be bridged. - Hans Nouwens

The grand essentials of life are something to do, something to love, something to hope for. - Thomas Chalmers

I realized when you look at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know. - Mitch Albom

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times. - Rita Rudner

Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like... love! - Homer Simpson

Youth fades; love droops; the leaves of friendship fall. A mother's secret hope outlives them all. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

If people did not love one another, I really don't see what use there would be in having any spring. - Victor Hugo

A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left. - Marilyn Monroe

Solitude scares me. It makes me think about love, death, and war. I need distraction from anxious, black thoughts. - Brigitte Bardot

Love is like an earthquake - unpredictable, a little scary, but when the hard part is over you realize how lucky you truly are. - Unknown

If you have love, you don't need to have anything else. If you don't have it, it doesn't matter much what else you have. - James M. Barrie

If I were a flower,
humming bird would be my favourite bee
And If I were blind,
the light of darkness I'd love to see - Munia Khan

One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. - Judith Viorst


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15-Oct-2019