Love Dress

How not to attract your spouse


A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son’s house. She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing; the aroma of perfume filled the room.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m waiting for my husband to come home from work,” the daughter-in-law answered.

“But you’re naked!” the mother-in-law exclaimed.

“This is my love dress,” the daughter-in-law explained.

“Love dress? But you’re naked!”

“My husband loves me to wear this dress,” she explained. “It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can’t get enough of me.”

The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD and laid on the couch! Waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally her husband came home. He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively.

“What are you doing?” he asked.
“This is my love dress,” she whispered, sensually.
“Needs ironing, what’s for dinner?”


QuotaBills
I like perfume and flowers. - Donatella Versace

True love stories never have endings. - Richard Bach

In the race for love, I was scratched. - Joan Davis

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? - Unknown

At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet. - Plato

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

In love there are two things - bodies and words. - Joyce Carol Oates

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

Love for me is like a pretzel. Twisted and salty. - Emmy Gay

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. - H L Mencken

Math, it's a puzzle to me. I love figuring out puzzles. - Maya Lin

Whatever you do, stamp out abuses, and love those who love you. - Voltaire

A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. - Woodrow Wyatt

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

I'd love to explain it to you, but I don't have any crayons. - Unknown

I only eat chocolate for you... so there'll be more of me to love! - Unknown

No one but a woman in love ever sees the maximum of men's greatness. - Anais Nin

To love what you do and feel that it matters - how could anything be more fun. - Katharine Graham

Sharing oft leaves less. But with love the more we share, the fuller our hearts. - J. Benson

Let us always meet each other with a smile, for a smile is the beginning of love. - Mother Theresa

I actually have a stash of wigs for Halloween. But only for that. Not to play dress-up. - Alexa Vega

Gestures, in love, are incomparably more attractive, effective, and valuable than words. - Francois Rabelais

There are a lot of things happening that show us that this, right now, is a time to love. - Stevie Wonder

In melody divine,
My heart it beats to rapturous love,
I long to call you mine. - Unknown

Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind. - William Shakespeare

Italy, and the spring and first love all together should suffice to make the gloomiest person happy. - Bertrand Russell

Love is a piano dropped from a fourth story window, and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. - Ani DiFranco

I love sushi, though I just read something about how you shouldn't eat sushi more than once a week. - Jacqueline Obradors

Until you become a parent, you can't begin to discover your capacity for strength, love and fatigue. - Peter Gallagher

A woman's dress should be like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view. - Sophia Loren

No woman is worth more than a fiver unless you're in love with her. Then she is worth all she costs you. - W Somerset Maugham

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything. - Oscar Wilde

I love solving puzzles, I love finding my way around obstacles, and I love learning new things about technology. - Kevin Mitnick

Sensitive love letters are my specialty: "Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You. P.S. I'm gay." - Homer Simpson

I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. - Audrey Hepburn

Love would never be a promise of a rose garden unless it is showered with light of faith, water of sincerity and air of passion. - Unknown

I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah

Too many young folk have an addiction to superficial things and not enough conviction for substantial things like justice, truth and love. - Cornel West

When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too. - Paulo Coelho


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25-Aug-2019