Four Husbands

Interviewing a pun-e 80-year-old lady


The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband’s occupation.

“He’s a funeral director,” she answered.

“Interesting,” the newsman thought. He then asked her if she wouldn’t mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.

She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her 20’s, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40’s, and a preacher when in her 60’s, and now - in her 80’s - a funeral director.

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.

She smiled and explained, “I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.”


QuotaBills
A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

Coincidences are spiritual puns. - G K Chesterton

I married beneath me. All women do. - Lady Nancy Astor

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

Make love, not war... or get married and do both. - Unknown

In married life three is company and two is none. - Oscar Wilde

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

Getting married is an incredible act of hopefulness. - Ashley Judd

Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb

Don't marry a tennis player - love means nothing to them. - Joan Rivers

I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married. - Queen Elizabeth I

I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. - Red Skelton

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. - Red Skelton

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

Of puns it has been said that they who most dislike them are least able to utter them. - Edgar Allan Poe

Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed. - Oscar Wilde

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

First of all you’ve got to have talent. And then you've got to marry her like I did. - George Burns

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. - Robert Frost

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

If you never want to see a man again, just tell him, "I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children." They leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf


see also   Marriage  &  pun-e  Sections
3 Stages Of A Man’s Life
4 Stages Of Life
A Woman’s Mind
Alaska Marriage License
Arkansas Divorce Application
Bedside Non-Assistance
Before The Impact
Bulge That All Women Love
Bullet Rings
Communication Divorce
Divorce Cakes
Divorce Defined
Divorce Is Grand
Divorce Lawyers
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
“Female Speak” Translation
Five Stages of a Female’s Life
Flower Shop For Men
GPS Marriage Proposal
Hardworking Wife
Hawaiian Surfboard Trade
Help Me Before It's Too Late!
Her Side vs His Side
Hormone Guide
How To Argue With A Woman
How To Live A Long & Happy Life
Husband Colors
Husband Day Care Center
Husband Mart
Hyphenated Names
iGifts
In Three Pictures
International Sign of Marriage
Just Divorced
Keyboard Wedding
Ladies - You “Can” Order Your Perfect Man!
LadyNet
Long, Happy Marriage
Looking For Your Wife?
Marital Rating Chart - Husband
Marital Rating Chart - Wife
Marital Bliss
Marriage Cards
Marriage Expectations
Marriage Wisdom
Married Man’s Harley
Meet Your Future Ex-Wife
Message From The Wife
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
My Ex-Wife, The Pilot
Names of the Colours
National Husband Care Program
Obedient Wife
Old Divorce
Perfect Diamond Engagement Ring
Perfect Divorce
Perfect Gift
Polish Divorce
Real Iron Man Competition
Real Man’s Point System
Redneck Anniversary Gift
Redneck Divorce
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Sinking Feeling
Sound Advice
Sunday Drive in the Country
Surprise Announcement
Texas Divorce
The Good Wife’s Guide
The Origin of the White Wedding Dress
The Perfect Male
Together Since
Understanding Women
Until We Understand Women
Waterina
Wedding Cake for the Submissive Husband
When Men Shop For Groceries
Wife Consumption
Woman Without Her Man

 

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19-Jan-2019