Four Husbands

Interviewing a pun-e 80-year-old lady


The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband’s occupation.

“He’s a funeral director,” she answered.

“Interesting,” the newsman thought. He then asked her if she wouldn’t mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.

She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her 20’s, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40’s, and a preacher when in her 60’s, and now - in her 80’s - a funeral director.

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.

She smiled and explained, “I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.”


QuotaBills
A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

I married beneath me. All women do. - Lady Nancy Astor

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

Always say no, and you will never by married. - French Proverb

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Getting married is an incredible act of hopefulness. - Ashley Judd

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose. - Oscar Wilde

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

Now a soft kiss; Aye, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss. - John Keats

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

May my last breath be drawn through a pipe and exhaled in a pun. - Charles Lamb

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli

Will you marry me? Do you have any money?
Answer the second question first. - Groucho Marx

I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. - O. Henry

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

Rituals are important. Nowadays it's hip not to be married. I'm not interested in being hip. - John Lennon

The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. - Oscar Wilde

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings. - Vicki Baum

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

Camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. - Yvonne Prinz

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

If you never want to see a man again, just tell him, "I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children." They leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf


see also   Marriage  &  pun-e  Sections
3 Stages Of A Man’s Life
4 Stages Of Life
A Woman’s Mind
Alaska Marriage License
Arkansas Divorce Application
Bedside Non-Assistance
Before The Impact
Bulge That All Women Love
Bullet Rings
Communication Divorce
Divorce Cakes
Divorce Defined
Divorce Is Grand
Divorce Lawyers
Everything Men Know About Women
Female Attraction
“Female Speak” Translation
Five Stages of a Female’s Life
Flower Shop For Men
GPS Marriage Proposal
Hardworking Wife
Hawaiian Surfboard Trade
Help Me Before It's Too Late!
Her Side vs His Side
Hormone Guide
How To Argue With A Woman
How To Live A Long & Happy Life
Husband Colors
Husband Day Care Center
Husband Mart
Hyphenated Names
iGifts
In Three Pictures
International Sign of Marriage
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Ladies - You “Can” Order Your Perfect Man!
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Marital Rating Chart - Wife
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Meet Your Future Ex-Wife
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The Good Wife’s Guide
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The Perfect Male
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Understanding Women
Until We Understand Women
Waterina
Wedding Cake for the Submissive Husband
When Men Shop For Groceries
Wife Consumption
Woman Without Her Man

 

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16-Jul-2019