Florida Christmas

Preparing for Christmas Eve in Miami




Santa’s helpers plan best delivery and getaway routes

QuotaBills
Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

A wounded deer leaps the highest. - Emily Dickinson

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

The Bunkers is going down to Florida as pre-deranged. - Archie Bunker

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Between here and Florida, ya got your original 48 states. - Archie Bunker

Your children need your presence more than your presents. - Jesse Jackson

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

I used to look like a deer in headlights on the red carpet. - Emily Blunt

Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue. - Joseph Addison

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue. - Virginia Woolf

I moved to Florida because you don't have to shovel water. - James Randi

If you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport. - Elayne Boosler

Opportunity does not knock. It presents itself when you beat down the door. - Unknown

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

The fabled musk deer searches the world over for the source of the scent which comes from itself. - Ramakrishna

When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket. - Groucho Marx

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

We are each given a limitless capacity to love and attain wisdom. The extent we use these gifts is our choice. - Anthony Douglas

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

We are all born with a grab bag on gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money. - Bill O'Reilly

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

Unrest of spirit is a mark of life; one problem after another presents itself and in the solving of them we can find our greatest pleasure. - Kal Menninger


see also   Christmas  &  Travel  Sections
Bird Stocking
Christmas Balls
Christmas Budget
Christmas Dinner Made Easy
Christmas Fireplace Tip
Christmas Hedgehog
Christmas Light Installation
Christmas Pencil Sharpener
Christmas Possessions To Enter Heaven
Christmas Thrones
Female Santa
Firefighter Decorations
Forget The Present
Gingerbread Star Wars Walker
Heathen’s Greetings
Holiday Bike
Jingle Cats’ White Christmas
Merry House
Office Party Grinch
Recession Christmas Tree
Redneck Christmas Sleigh
Santa Claws Is Coming To Town
Santa Elephant
Santa For Kids
Santa Stop Lights
Santa’s Last Stop For Mexican Food
Santa’s Scooter Sleigh
Saskatchewan Entrepreneur
Save Santa The Trip
Signs of Christmas Everywhere
Texas Hood Ornament
Three Wise Men
Three Wise Women
Walking In A Doggie Wonderland

 

Cheating Husband

Stuck On High Gear

Bottom Blast Car Wash

Yo Mama Bin Shopping

Gangsta

Helmet Full Of Hair

Air Conditioner Repair

Redneck Towing

Walking His Fresh Food Pet

Japanese Tea Bath

Redneck Daycare

Hedge Hunter

Pilot Prop Job

Front To Side View

Moses' USB Tablets

Family Photo

Is Laughter The Best Medicine?

Plastered Wall Plasterer

Waffle Board

Stairway Repair
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23-Sep-2019