Crash Landing Survivors

Surviving against all odds

Procrastination pays off on uncharted islands



Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation
to celebrate their 50th anniversary.
Airplane crash landing survivors

Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces,
“Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m afraid I have some very bad news...
Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency
landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be
able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be
rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!”


Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.
An hour later Abe turns to his wife and asks, “Esther, did we pay our
VISA and MasterCard bills yet?”


“No, sweetheart,” she responds.
Abe, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks,
“Esther, did we pay our American Express card yet?”
“Oh, no! I’m sorry. I forgot to send the check,” she says.


“One last thing, Esther. Did you remember to send the estimate check
to the IRS this quarter?” he asks.
“Oh, forgive me, Abe,” begged Esther. “I didn’t send that one, either.”


Abe grabs her and gives her the biggest kiss in 40 years.
Esther pulls away and asks him, “What was that for?”


Abe answers, “They’ll find us!”


QuotaBills
I got bigger fish to fly - Archie Bunker

Owning a drone does not a pilot make. - Alex Morritt

Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible. - Lord Kelvin

Roasted pigeons will not fly into one's mouth. - Dutch Proverb

Mothers are angels that lift us when we cannot fly. - Unknown

Never invest emergency savings in the stock market. - Suze Orman

Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly. - G K Chesterton

Luck is like having a rice dumpling fly into your mouth. - Japanese Proverb

If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us air tickets. - Mel Brooks

The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets. - Al McGuire

I think being a dragon would be pretty awesome... you get to fly. - Josh Keaton

If God had intended us to fly, He would never have given us railways. - Michael Flanders

Our Air Corps reunion was held to rememmorate the great things we done. - Archie Bunker

If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus. - Robin Williams

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens

Now that I've found the way to fly, which direction should I go into the night? - Ally Condie

He who waits for a roast duck to fly into his mouth must wait a very, very long time. - Chinese Proverb

My tent doesn't look like much but it is air-conditioned and has exceptional location. - Fennel Hudson

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do. - Golda Meir

One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. - Mark Russell

A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson

The only people flying to Europe will be terrorists, so it will be, "Will you be sitting in armed or unarmed?" - Robin Williams

Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know so it goes flying anyway. - Mary Kay Ash

Bruce Lee's fast pace, Jet Li's pretty style and Jet Li's acrobatics combine with Muay Thai for my own style. - Tony Jaa

With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff. - Rodney Dangerfield

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them. - Henry David Thoreau

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

Aim at the sun, and you may not reach it; but your arrow will fly far higher than if aimed at an object on a level with yourself. - Joel Hawes

If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of twenty-two, it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation. - Tom Stoppard

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is a man who collects the rent. - Lord Webb-Johnson

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin

This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet. - Rumi


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20-Nov-2017