Crash Landing Survivors

Surviving against all odds

Procrastination pays off on uncharted islands

Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation
to celebrate their 50th anniversary.
Airplane crash landing survivors

Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces,
“Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m afraid I have some very bad news...
Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency
landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be
able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be
rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!”

Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.
An hour later Abe turns to his wife and asks, “Esther, did we pay our
VISA and MasterCard bills yet?”

“No, sweetheart,” she responds.
Abe, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks,
“Esther, did we pay our American Express card yet?”
“Oh, no! I’m sorry. I forgot to send the check,” she says.

“One last thing, Esther. Did you remember to send the estimate check
to the IRS this quarter?” he asks.
“Oh, forgive me, Abe,” begged Esther. “I didn’t send that one, either.”

Abe grabs her and gives her the biggest kiss in 40 years.
Esther pulls away and asks him, “What was that for?”

Abe answers, “They’ll find us!”

I got bigger fish to fly - Archie Bunker

Care shouldn't start in the emergency room. - James Douglas

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. - Unknown

You cannot fly like an eagle with the wings of a wren. - William Henry Hudson

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. - Mel Brooks

As the velocity of air increases, its pressure decreases. - Daniel Bernoulli

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce

The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets. - Al McGuire

The higher we soar the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

I think being a dragon would be pretty awesome... you get to fly. - Josh Keaton

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

Our Air Corps reunion was held to rememmorate the great things we done. - Archie Bunker

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus. - Robin Williams

Something in the air this morning made me feel like flying... Spring Flight - Eileen Granfors

Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb

Matt would be fantastic for New York if the Jets were lucky enough to get him. - Donald Trump

If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport. - Jonathan Winters

There are two kind of air travel in the United States, first class and third world. - Bobby Slayton

My tent doesn't look like much but it is air-conditioned and has exceptional location. - Fennel Hudson

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

You can't fly with the owls by night and expect to keep up with the eagles during the day. - Unknown

We breathe air, trees make air, homework kills trees, therefore homework is going to kill us all. - Unknown

Caesar dreamed that he was flying above the clouds, and now that he was clasping the hand of Jupiter. - Suetonius

I don't like all this fresh air: I'm from Los Angeles; I don't trust any air I can't see. - Bob Hope

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. - Mark Russell

Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all. - Robert Orben

Bruce Lee's fast pace, Jet Li's pretty style and Jet Li's acrobatics combine with Muay Thai for my own style. - Tony Jaa

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

Aim at the sun, and you may not reach it; but your arrow will fly far higher than if aimed at an object on a level with yourself. - Joel Hawes

Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. - Henry David Thoreau

Southwest Airlines is successful because the company understands it's a customer service company. It also happens to be an airline. - Harvey Mackay

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

Love is like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. But there’s no need to be frightened, because that plane is still on the ground. - Jarod Kintz

This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet. - Rumi

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