joe-ks.com

The Night Before Christmas In Texas
Santa was blown in from Brownsville, down Mexico way




‘Twas the night before Christmas in Texas, you bet,
But no one’d seen Santa; he hadn’t come yet.
The chaps were all hung up, the boots neatly shined,
While out on the plains a right tough windstorm whined.

And Santa was in it, with reindeer and sleigh,
He’d blown in from Brownsville, down Mexico way.
He was squinting from dust and his beard had turned brown,
The reindeer were squealing; the sleigh sinking down,

Till it lurched to a stop near the hills at Big Bend.
Santa said, “Here we’ll wait for this dust storm to end.
The sleigh’s overloaded with great Texas toys.
It’s too hard to steer in the dust and the noise!”

Now the problem was time; he had Texas to cross,
And the night passing fast. Should he get him a hoss?
But no horse was nearby; only longhorns around.
“I don’t trust ’em,” says Rudolph, a pawin’ the ground.

So they huddled to ponder just what could be done
To deliver those toys for the kids Christmas fun.
Things were downright disgusting, when suddenly came
A small Texas voice calling Santa by name...

“Howdy Santa! Ah’ll help! Ah know just where tuh go,
The way tuh the great Texas Rangers ah’ll show.
They kin do it, ah know,” chirped the odd little fellow.
“Well, by jiminey,” says Rudolph, “it’s a real armadillo.”

With the leader, the team quickly moved north by east,
Left the dust storm in Abilene- what a relief!
All the Rangers were called and they split up that load,
And giving a whoop, all directions they rode!

San Antonio children all sleeping just so
Heard, “Y’all have a good one! 'Member the Alamo!' ”
Now Santa could fly; there was no time to waste
On toward Dallas and Houston the sleigh sped with haste.

Heard the band still performing at Billy Bob’s bar,
And dropped ten-gallon hats and new boots at the door.
He swept into Dallas, now feeling quite jolly,
On Pegasus’ neck placed a small wreath of holly.

He rounded Reunion Tower headed toward Irving,
To visit the Cowboys- there’s none more deserving!
Dropped a big load of footballs, bid the skyline goodbye.
“Seasons Greetings,” he called, and turned south on the fly.

All the oil towers were lighted; the air seemed alive
As he headed for Houston on I-45.
At the Astrodome, someone had left him a treat -
Fresh barbecue, chili, and nachos to eat!

“Oh, how I love Texas!” Santa sang with high cheer,
As he passed Neiman Marcus drinking Lone Star “root” beer.
His huge load of toys got dropped off, one by one.
To each sleeping child and his dad and his mum.

Then headed toward Beaumont, the whole team took flight
“Merry Christmas to Texas! and to all a Goodnight!”

see also   Christmas   Section
Texas Night Before Christmas

Aussie Night Before Christmas
Aviator’s Night Before Christmas
Big Texas Rattlesnake
Biker’s Night Before Christmas
Bronx Night Before Christmas
Contract Spec Writer’s Night Before Christmas
Dieter’s Night Before Christmas
Genealogist’s Night Before Christmas
Ghetto Night Before Christmas
Hanukkah Night Before Christmas
Italian Night Before Christmas
Jewish-Chinese Night before Christmas
Legal Speak Night Before Christmas
Moving Day in Texas
Networkologist’s Night Before Christmas
Politically Correct Night Before Christmas
Redneck Night Before Christmas
Room Service in a Texas Hotel
Scientist’s Night Before Christmas
Shopping In Texas
Spanish Night Before Christmas
Star Trek ‘Next Generation’ Night Before Christmas
Star Wars Christmas
Survivor – Texas Style
Texas Chili Taster
Texas Divorce
Texas Easter Bunny
Texas Hunting Vehicle
Texas Limo
Texas Motorcycle Seat
Texas Speed Camera
Texas Zoo
‘Twas the Internet Night Before Christmas
‘Twas the Night Before Christmas

Everyday Exotic in the Middle East
Saudi Exotic Cuisine
Ever had to make ends meet while you stretch for your next meal?
Heavy Meal Deal
Coping with job stress
Chair Spin Day
Some playground equipment didn't pass safety inspection
Playground Mistakes
How I ground my kids
You Are Grounded
Standoff at the African watering hole
Serengeti Tug of War
Putting the 'air' in Jethro's aerodynamic bike
Turbo Bike
Why be too tired when you can be three tired?
Tire Trike
Latest Word Search Puzzle: Words With One H
Word Search Puzzles
Premium emergency assistance for English golfers
Ambulance Caddy
Imodium Podium: why some athletes didn't make it to the podium
Fast Food in Beijing
It'll fit if I turn it sideways, right?
Side-Ways
Submissions by Cherei McCarterFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site

30-Jul-2014

QR Code

G'Oldies

Where White Man Went Wr ...
Diehard Fans
Bumper Bike
Dam Good Response!
My Ex-Wife, The Pilot
Bubba's First Job
Women's Outhouse
Snowmen Protest
Bag Hang-Up
Black Hole
Straight From The Cow
Blonde Air Grabber
Moses' Headache Relief ...
It's Never Too Late, Ha ...
Son Braggarts on the Go ...
Motorcycle Repairs or R ...
Shaved by Grace
Citroen's New C4 Transf ...
'Underneath That' Cake
The Honey Truck
Changing Priorities
PantAm Airways - Dog's ...
Redneck Power Windows
Spamdex Pork Shorts
Bubble Car
Beware of Atlanta Fount ...
Coach Inspiring Teamwor ...
Three Wise Men
Tartan Treasures
Fish Farm
Pigeon Warning
Infringement Notice - N ...
Motorcycle Grind
Bartman
Open Goal Forgiveness
Nike Coffin
Waterfall Windows
Bubba's First Job
Life Cycle of a Chicken
Fish Hook Removal
Bounced Check
Me? No - I Use That Hyd ...
Redneck Deer Hunters
Rescue Dog
Medieval History by Col ...
Dog Walking - Remotely
Redneck Wedding Cake
Pizza Melt
Satellite 'Art' - 100% ...
European Speed Bumps
Blonde Golf-Her
Couch Ouch
Dad's Ex-Ferrari
Barbsled - Ladies Downh ...
How Good Is Your IQ?
Snake Circle
Christmas Baby
Talking Dog For Sale
Truck Art
40 Years In The Desert ...
Prayer Request for Bob
Bud Light Beer Bunker
iPottie
Precious Paint Supply
Umbrella Protection and ...
Mountain Flock
Logging Moose
Who Cares Clock
When Pumpkins Drink
Redneck Funeral
Dog Laundry - Hung Out ...
Baby Names - Denise and ...
Life Sucks
Archie Bunker Quotes
Divorce Lawyers
Leaping Lizards!
Server Tray
Creative Charity
Cancel Our Date
Guatemala Sinkhole
Australian Cyclist
New Dog Breeds
New Player
Cafe Cappuccino
Diet Spoon
Tobacco Smoke Enema
Safety Last Motorcyclis ...
Exactly How I Feel
12 Days of Christmas - ...
Other Door
Kingsford the Piglet Go ...
Employee Happiness Kit
Horsing Around Royalty
Chiropractor Mailbox
Florida's Retired Biker ...
Can You Spot the Hidden ...
Da Vinci Code Revealed
Cherry Picker
Invisible Homeless Man
Conch Crab Special to A ...
Redneck End Table
Raise Twins