The Night Before Christmas In Texas
Santa was blown in from Brownsville, down Mexico way

‘Twas the night before Christmas in Texas, you bet,
But no one’d seen Santa; he hadn’t come yet.
The chaps were all hung up, the boots neatly shined,
While out on the plains a right tough windstorm whined.

And Santa was in it, with reindeer and sleigh,
He’d blown in from Brownsville, down Mexico way.
He was squinting from dust and his beard had turned brown,
The reindeer were squealing; the sleigh sinking down,

Till it lurched to a stop near the hills at Big Bend.
Santa said, “Here we’ll wait for this dust storm to end.
The sleigh’s overloaded with great Texas toys.
It’s too hard to steer in the dust and the noise!”

Now the problem was time; he had Texas to cross,
And the night passing fast. Should he get him a hoss?
But no horse was nearby; only longhorns around.
“I don’t trust ’em,” says Rudolph, a pawin’ the ground.

So they huddled to ponder just what could be done
To deliver those toys for the kids Christmas fun.
Things were downright disgusting, when suddenly came
A small Texas voice calling Santa by name...

“Howdy Santa! Ah’ll help! Ah know just where tuh go,
The way tuh the great Texas Rangers ah’ll show.
They kin do it, ah know,” chirped the odd little fellow.
“Well, by jiminey,” says Rudolph, “it’s a real armadillo.”

With the leader, the team quickly moved north by east,
Left the dust storm in Abilene- what a relief!
All the Rangers were called and they split up that load,
And giving a whoop, all directions they rode!

San Antonio children all sleeping just so
Heard, “Y’all have a good one! 'Member the Alamo!' ”
Now Santa could fly; there was no time to waste
On toward Dallas and Houston the sleigh sped with haste.

Heard the band still performing at Billy Bob’s bar,
And dropped ten-gallon hats and new boots at the door.
He swept into Dallas, now feeling quite jolly,
On Pegasus’ neck placed a small wreath of holly.

He rounded Reunion Tower headed toward Irving,
To visit the Cowboys- there’s none more deserving!
Dropped a big load of footballs, bid the skyline goodbye.
“Seasons Greetings,” he called, and turned south on the fly.

All the oil towers were lighted; the air seemed alive
As he headed for Houston on I-45.
At the Astrodome, someone had left him a treat -
Fresh barbecue, chili, and nachos to eat!

“Oh, how I love Texas!” Santa sang with high cheer,
As he passed Neiman Marcus drinking Lone Star “root” beer.
His huge load of toys got dropped off, one by one.
To each sleeping child and his dad and his mum.

Then headed toward Beaumont, the whole team took flight
“Merry Christmas to Texas! and to all a Goodnight!”

see also   Christmas   Section
Texas Night Before Christmas

Aussie Night Before Christmas
Aviator’s Night Before Christmas
Big Texas Rattlesnake
Biker’s Night Before Christmas
Bronx Night Before Christmas
Contract Spec Writer’s Night Before Christmas
Dieter’s Night Before Christmas
Genealogist’s Night Before Christmas
Ghetto Night Before Christmas
Hanukkah Night Before Christmas
Italian Night Before Christmas
Jewish-Chinese Night before Christmas
Legal Speak Night Before Christmas
Moving Day in Texas
Networkologist’s Night Before Christmas
Politically Correct Night Before Christmas
Redneck Night Before Christmas
Room Service in a Texas Hotel
Scientist’s Night Before Christmas
Shopping In Texas
Spanish Night Before Christmas
Star Trek ‘Next Generation’ Night Before Christmas
Star Wars Christmas
Survivor – Texas Style
Texas Chili Taster
Texas Divorce
Texas Easter Bunny
Texas Hunting Vehicle
Texas Limo
Texas Motorcycle Seat
Texas Speed Camera
Texas Zoo
‘Twas the Internet Night Before Christmas
‘Twas the Night Before Christmas

Windows for Pianos meets Nerd Vista - playing at a keyboard near you
Geek Piano
Some animals take too long to decide...
In Hind Sight
How to know when a woman is ticked off
Car Axident
Today's dog has it much better
Dining Dogs
How you can reach out to paint your own portrait
Reaching Out For Your Own Portrait
Downplaying depression in a yoga relationship
Zen For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously
A pun-e place to find polka dots
Poca Dots High School
Home schooling for a barn owl
Owl and Owlette
Vegetarian violence
Innocent Plants
When your cat has one less tail to tell
Refrigerator Magnet
'How much deeper do I go until the boat floats?'
Redneck Boat Ramp
Hunting, Texas Style:  where vehicles are bigger than the game!
Texas Hunting Vehicle
Submissions by Cherei McCarterFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site


QR Code


Harley House
Palestinian Theme Song
Fast Food in Beijing
Golden Nugget
Life Expectancy Test
Don't Play With Fire
Valentine Love and Hiss ...
UFO Cloud
Fart Match
Mouth Golf - Drive of t ...
When Gas Costs Too Much
Pink Pet
Cheers Beer
Undertaker Bike
Moose Cheese
Italian Rolex
Divorce Cakes
Mennonites Don't Like S ...
Winter Tires
Redneck Furnace
Black Hole
Sitting On The Throne - ...
Time Flies
Tips For Rednecks
Bier Making Oudfit - Ba ...
Pilot Bike
Randy Johnson's Fastbal ...
Middle Column?
Magic Green Hat
Psychiatrist's Patient ...
Taking No Chance with t ...
Cozy Washroom
Nerve Twitch
A Bicycle Boot For Two
Bacon Tacos
Robin Williams Quotes
Frozen Dog
Essential Medical Infor ...
2 Carrot Ring
Formula One Wheelchair
Insect Wine Glass
Game's On
Dog Walking For a Healt ...
Snowball Dogs
Where Business Meets IT
Dent Wizard
Mental Hospital Answeri ...
Lip Gloss
Honey, What's For Suppe ...
Psalm 404
Little Known Maritime F ...
Hymns For All Occasions
Sumo Skiing - Pairs
ASCII Art - Walking Man
Crap In The Carburetor
Rotterdam Bus Boat Tour ...
PC World
Exciting Spring
Talking Dog For Sale
Mennonite Movies
Amish Segway
Chimp Weightlifter
Bus Wait Weight
The Next Kramer
Moonlight Owls
Out Of Estrogen - Make ...
Turning 11 Real Soon
Florida Moves Out Of Hu ...
Newspaper Bloopers
Redneck Swimming Pools
First High-Five
Field of Dreams
Socket To Me
Texas Hunting Vehicle
Olympic Bicycle
Dyslexic Smiley
High Fiber Diet
Toddler Dance
Heaven Is For Best Frie ...
Irish Birth Control
Instead Of Flowers
Dalmation Dog Cycling
Water Walkers - Part II
Hands Free Cell Phone
New Rolling Stones Guit ...
Italian Soccer Practice
A Man Named Fred
Redneck Pencil Holder
Family Hands
Take Away Food
How NOT To Land A Helic ...
Bread Dress
Jewish Samurai
Egg Walk
Holland Bike Lane - For ...
Downside Electric - 'Sh ...
Redneck Submarine
401K Plan - Privatizing ...
New Wine For Seniors
LOL Tweet
Newfie Pizza Order
Rattlesnake Outhouse