‘Twas the night before Christmas in Texas, you bet, Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker Texas is as odd as it is vast. - Henry Rollins I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd Texas is a hotbed of insanely good bands and musicians. - Henry Rollins Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz In plain Texas talk, it's 'do the right thing'. - Ross Perot Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' - Kinky Friedman Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. - Red Skelton News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. - Sam Houston How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman If my Valentine you won't be, I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it. - Ann Richards If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown If a man's from Texas, he'll tell you. If he's not, why embarrass him by asking? - John Gunther Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that it's impossible to be insane in Texas. - Malcolm McDowell I'm from Texas, and one of the reasons I like Texas is because there's no one in control. - Willie Nelson Most of my memories of Texas are of mosquitoes, watermelons, crickets, and my brother teasing me. - Robin Wright I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey You can take the girl out of Texas but not the Texas out of the girl and ultimately not the girl out of Texas. - Janine Turner A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze see also Christmas Section Texas Night Before Christmas Aussie Night Before Christmas Aviator’s Night Before Christmas Big Texas Rattlesnake Biker’s Night Before Christmas Bronx Night Before Christmas Contract Spec Writer’s Night Before Christmas Dieter’s Night Before Christmas Genealogist’s Night Before Christmas Ghetto Night Before Christmas Hanukkah Night Before Christmas Italian Night Before Christmas Jewish-Chinese Night before Christmas Legal Speak Night Before Christmas Moving Day in Texas Networkologist’s Night Before Christmas Politically Correct Night Before Christmas Redneck Night Before Christmas Room Service in a Texas Hotel Scientist’s Night Before Christmas Shopping In Texas Spanish Night Before Christmas Star Trek ‘Next Generation’ Night Before Christmas Star Wars Christmas Survivor – Texas Style Texas Chili Taster Texas Divorce Texas Easter Bunny Texas Hunting Vehicle Texas Limo Texas Motorcycle Seat Texas Speed Camera Texas Zoo ‘Twas the Internet Night Before Christmas ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas |
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