Real Man’s Point System

How to deal with women


For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40

AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy… -2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18

HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favorite team… -10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800

THE BIG QUESTION:  She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20

COMMUNICATION:  When she wants to talk about a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200

IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777


QuotaBills
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

An old man loved is winter with flowers. - Unknown

Wise is the man who knows he has enough. - Unknown

The man with no imagination has no wings. - Muhammad Ali

To the man who is afraid everything rustles. - Sophocles

Fools look to tomorrow; wise men use tonight. - Scottish Proverb

The rich man has more relations than he knows. - French Proverb

I'm not a businessman. I'm a business, man. - Jay-Z

The first test of a truly great man is his humility. - John Ruskin

Liam's like a man with a fork in a world of soup. - Noel Gallagher

The duty of comedy is to correct men by amusing them. - Moliere

The childhood shows the man, as morning shows the day. - John Milton

Through pain I've learned to comfort suffering men. - Virgil

The real character of a man is found out by his amusements. - Joshua Reynolds

Man is only half himself, the other half is his expression. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

This is one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind. - Neil Armstrong

I am the least difficult of men. All I want is boundless love. - Frank O'Hara

Man is a complex being: He makes deserts bloom - and lakes die. - Gil Stern

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

I have no money, no resources, no hopes. I am the happiest man alive. - Henry Miller

The man who is in real danger is the man who thinks he is perfectly safe. - James M. Barrie

Thanks to this man I've gone from over-the-counter to over-the-barrel. - Unknown

If you need something done ask a busy man, no one else will have time to do it. - Unknown

The significance of a man is not in what he attains but in what he longs to attain. - Kahlil Gibran

The apprenticeship of difficulty is one which the greatest of men have had to serve. - Samuel Smiles

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

The man who most vividly realizes a difficulty is the man most likely to overcome it. - Joseph Farrell

The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely the one who dropped it. - Lou Holtz

Men gets these here, waddya call, surges, where the chromostones are burlin' over. - Archie Bunker

At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer. - Marshall Lumsden

Every time a child is born it brings with it the hope that God is not yet disappointed in man. - Rabindranath Tagore

Noel Coward: "Edna, you almost look like a man."
Ferber: "So do you." - Edna Ferber

Praise the Lord. Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who finds great delight in his commands. - Bible

I don't like work - no man does - but I like what is in the work - the chance to find yourself. - Joseph Conrad

A man who has been in danger,
When he comes out of it forgets his fears,
And sometimes he forgets his promises. - Euripides

I cannot but bless the memory of Julius Caesar, for the great esteem he expressed for fat men; and his aversion to lean ones. - David Hume

It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

In the long run men hit only what they aim at. Therefore, though they should fail immediately, they had better aim at something high. - Henry David Thoreau

If we want a free and peaceful world, if we want to make the deserts bloom and man grow to greater dignity as a human being - we can do it. - Eleanor Roosevelt

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer


see also   Marriage  &  Relationship   Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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20-Oct-2019