Real Man’s Point System

How to deal with women


For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40

AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy… -2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18

HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favorite team… -10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800

THE BIG QUESTION:  She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20

COMMUNICATION:  When she wants to talk about a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200

IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777


QuotaBills
All real men love to eat. - Marlene Dietrich

No man ever listened himself out of a job. - Calvin Coolidge

A wise man hears one word and understands two. - Yiddish

It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims. - Aristotle

One aged man - one man - can't fill a house. - Robert Frost

Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to. - Mark Twain

Every man's memory is his private literature. - Aldous Huxley

Every man is a volume if you know how to read him. - William Ellery Channing

I ain't a man of carnival instinctuals like you. - Archie Bunker

That man is truly good who knows his own dark places. - Beowulf

The superior man is distressed by his want of ability. - Confucius

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton

A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you. - Bert L. Taylor

Wise men learn by other men's mistakes, fools by their own. - H.G. Bohn

Banking may well be a career from which no man really recovers. - John Kenneth Galbraith

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations. - Winston Churchill

Thanks to this man I've gone from over-the-counter to over-the-barrel. - Unknown

Most of the evils of life arise from man's inability to sit still in a room. - Blaise Pascal

It's not the size of the man in the fight, but the size of the fight in the man. - Unknown

Man's chief enemy is his own unruly nature and the dark forces pent up within him. - Ernst Jones

The greatest men have been those who have cut their way to success through difficulties. - F.W. Robertson

Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. - Ambrose Bierce

In every man's heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations of beauty. - Christopher D Morley

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves. - WC Fields

Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it. - Maurice Chevalier

Character is that which reveals moral purposes, exposing the class of things man chooses or avoids. - Aristotle

Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. - Rita Rudner

All things will be clear and distinct to the man who does not hurry; haste is blind and improvident. - Livy

The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out. - Thomas B Macaulay

A man who has to be convinced to act before he acts is not a man of action. You must act as you breathe. - Georges Clemenceau

Human reason is like a drunken man on horseback, set it up on one side and it tumbles over on the other. - Martin Luther

Freedom is man's capacity to take a hand in his own development. It is our capacity to mold ourselves. - Rollo May

Some men storm imaginary Alps all their lives, and die in the foothills cursing difficulties which do not exist. - Edgar W Howe

The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers. - Sydney Harris

I don't sit around thinking that I'd like to have another husband; only another man would make me think that way. - Lauren Bacall

Of the two lots, the woman's lot of perpetual motherhood, and the man's of perpetual babyhood, I prefer the man's. - Bernard Shaw

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something; in the absence of good grounds for belief, he will be satisfied with bad ones. - Bertrand Russell

As a rule man is a fool,
When it's hot he wants it cool,
When it's cool he wants it hot,
Always wanting what is not. - Unknown

God is dead: but considering the state the species Man is in, there will perhaps be caves, for ages yet, in which his shadow will be shown. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche


see also   Marriage  &  Relationship   Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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19-Jan-2019