Real Man’s Point System

How to deal with women


For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40

AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy… -2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18

HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favorite team… -10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800

THE BIG QUESTION:  She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20

COMMUNICATION:  When she wants to talk about a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200

IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777


QuotaBills
All real men love to eat. - Marlene Dietrich

Every man is a king at home. - English Proverb

Home is a refuge for all good men. - Unknown

No man is free who is not a master of himself. - Epictetus

Clever men are good, but they are not the best. - Thomas Carlyle

One man's meat is another man's poison. - Lucretius

An honest man's word is as good as his bond. - Cervantes

A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice. - Edgar Watson Howe

A man can't be to careful in his choice of enemies. - Oscar Wilde

Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

Men do less than they ought, unless they do all they can. - Thomas Carlyle

A wise man sees as much as he ought, not as much as he can. - Michel de Montaigne

They bequeathed the gleaming gold, treasure of men, to earth. - Beowulf

When eating bamboo sprouts, remember the man who planted them. - China Proverb

Behind every successful man is a woman.
Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her. - Oscar Wilde

A man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for? - Robert Browning

The first lesson a revolutionary must learn is that he is a doomed man. - Huey P. Newton

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

Reading maketh a full man, conference a ready man, and writing an exact man. - Sir Francis Bacon

No one is more liable to make mistakes than the man who acts only on reflection. - Vauvenargues

You cannot teach a man anything. You can only help him discover it within himself. - Galileo Galilei

When you speak to a man, look on his eyes; when he speaks to thee, look on his mouth. - Benjamin Franklin

A man who moralizes is usually a hypocrite, and a woman who moralizes is usually plain. - Oscar Wilde

A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others. - Ayn Rand

Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet. - Robin Williams

Men are like linoleum floors. Lay 'em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years. - Betsy Salkind

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

When a man has no design but to speak plain truth, he may say a great deal in a very narrow compass. - Sir Richard Steele

The immature man wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mature man wants to live humanely for one. - Wilheim Stekel

He is not an honest man who has burned his tongue and does not tell the company that the soup is hot. - Yugoslav Proverb

It ain't enough that he's a Pinko and an atheist. You gonna turn him from a man to a morphadite? - Archie Bunker

If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals. - J K Rowling

Before a man speaks it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks, it is seldom necessary to assume it. - H L Mencken

“But it doesn't take a thousand men to open a door, my lord."
"It might to keep it open.” - Ursula K. Le Guin

It is too often seen, that the wiser men are about the things of this world, the less wise they are about the things of the next. - Edmund Gibson

A physician is obligated to consider more than a diseased organ, more even than the whole man — he must view the man in his world. - Harvey Cushing

God is dead: but considering the state the species Man is in, there will perhaps be caves, for ages yet, in which his shadow will be shown. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf


see also   Marriage  &  Relationship   Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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Dawn Gone

Highest Human Position In The World

Together Since

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Columbia Street Party

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Down Day

Hanging Out With Friends

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Mirror Lake

Kitchen Thing

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20-Aug-2019