Real Man’s Point System

How to deal with women


For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed… +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows… 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets… -1
You leave the toilet seat up… -5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty… 0
When the toilet paper roll is empty, you resort to Kleenex... -10
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom… -20
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings… +15
In the snow… +28
But return with beer… -5
And no liners… -25
You check out a suspicious noise at night… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing… 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something… +5
You pummel it with a six iron… +10
It’s her cat… -40

AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party… 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy… -2
Named Tiffany… -4
Tiffany is a dancer… -10
With breast implants… -18

HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday… 0
You buy a card and flowers… 0
You take her out to dinner… 0
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar… +1
Okay, it is a sports bar… -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night… -3
It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favorite team… -10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal… 0
The pal is happily married… +1
The pal is single… -7
He drives a Ferrari… -10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)… -15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie… +2
You take her to a movie she likes… +4
You take her to a movie you hate… +6
You take her to a movie you like… -2
It’s called Death Cop III… -3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans… -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans… -15

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly… -15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it… +10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts… -30
You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too”… -800

THE BIG QUESTION:  She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
You hesitate in responding… -10
You reply, “Where?”… -35
You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”… -100
Any other response… -20

COMMUNICATION:  When she wants to talk about a problem...
You listen, displaying a concerned expression… 0
You listen, for over 30 minutes… +5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience… +50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying “Well, what do you think I should do?”… -100
You have fallen asleep… -200

IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk… -100
You don’t talk… -150
You spend time with her… -200
You don’t spend time with her… -500
You seem to be enjoying yourself… -1000
You send her to joe-ks.com… +777


QuotaBills
God made man because he loves stories. - Elie Wiesel

Men who never get carried away should be. - Malcolm Forbes

Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them. - Samuel Palmer

A man in the house is worth two in the street. - Mae West

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

The bird a nest, the spider a web, man friendship. - William Blake

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall

Try not to become a man of success but a man of value. - Albert Einstein

The childhood shows the man, as morning shows the day. - John Milton

Wise men profit more from fools than fools from wise men. - Cato

They are happy men whose natures sort with their vocations. - Francis Bacon

The surest way to make a monkey out of a man is to quote him. - Robert Benchley

A consultant is an ordinary man away from home giving advice. - Oscar Wilde

I am the least difficult of men. All I want is boundless love. - Frank O'Hara

The man who strikes first admits that his ideas have given out. - Chinese Proverb

Honesty is probably the sexiest thing a man can give to a woman. - Debra Messing

It is of men, and of them only, that one should always be frightened. - Louis-Ferdinand CĂ©line

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

The concept of number is the obvious distinction between the beast and man. - Joseph de Maistre

Men who are unhappy, like men who sleep badly, are always proud of the fact. - Bertrand Russell

I love romance. I'm a sucker for it. I love it so much. It's pathetic. - Drew Barrymore

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

Whenever a man has cast a longing eye on offices, a rottenness begins in his conduct. - Thomas Jefferson

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom when he can no longer be led by the nose. - Mark Twain

The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

Hard men present hard choices - none more so than Vladimir Putin, the President of Russia. - Hillary Clinton

The easiest kind of relationship for me is with ten thousand people. The hardest is with one. - Joan Baez

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

Radio is a bag of mediocrity where little men with carbon minds wallow in sluice of their own making. - Fred Allen

A poet can write about a man slaying a dragon, but not about a man pushing a button that releases a bomb. - W H Auden

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. - Albert Einstein

Relationships are about give and take; not tit-for-tat. If you're keeping score, you'll lose at your own game. - Faydra D. Fields

A man who has been in danger,
When he comes out of it forgets his fears,
And sometimes he forgets his promises. - Euripides

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

The world is moving so fast these days that the man who says it can't be done is generally interrupted by someone doing it. - Elbert Hubbard

One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn't do. - Henry Ford

A man cannot directly choose his circumstances, but he can choose his thoughts, and so indirectly, yet surely, shape his circumstances. - James Allen


see also   Marriage  &  Relationship   Sections
A Woman’s Mind
Before Online Dating
Before The Impact
Everything Men Know About Women
“Female Speak” Translation
Flower Shop For Men
Hormone Guide
Mission Gap - for Men & Women
iGifts
Looking For Your Wife?
Names of the Colours
Romance Lost
Secret Of A Long Marriage
Sheer Surprise
Understanding Women
When Men Shop For Groceries
Winning An Argument With A Woman

 

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23-Mar-2019