Trink Das Wasser Nicht

Plenty of water for politicians


Near Frankenmuth, Michigan, there’s a large German-speaking, Lutheran population.

A farmer walking down a country road notices a man drinking from his pond with his hand.

The farmer shouted: “Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin gesheissen.
Which means: “Don’t drink the water, the cows have crapped in it.

The man shouted back, “I’m from Washington D.C. and I’m up here campaigning for Obama’s health care plan - I can’t understand you. Please speak in English.

The farmer replied, “Use both hands; you’ll get more water that way.”


QuotaBills
Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

I'd stop drinking but I'm not a quitter. - Unknown

You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. - Henny Youngman

No farmer ever plowed a field by turning it over in his mind. - George E. Woodbury

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water. - WC Fields

I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know. - WC Fields

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable. - G K Chesterton

Nothing lasts forever, so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off. - Unknown

Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm. - Malayan Proverb

You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning. - Founder's Breakfast Stout

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. - WC Fields

I don't have a drinking problem. Except when I can't get a drink. - Tom Waits

When in doubt as to the applicability of a disinfectant, use soap and water. - Martin H. Fischer

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

A good farmer is nothing more nor less than a handyman with a sense of humus. - E.B. White

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim. - Ann Landers

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

If a farmer fills his barn with grain, he gets mice; if he leaves it empty, he gets actors. - Bill Vaughan

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living. - Jean Kerr

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

If leeches ate peaches instead of my blood,
then I would be free to drink tea in the mud! - Emilie Autumn

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. - George Burns

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

I can remember a reporter asking me for a quote, and I didn't know what a quote was. I thought it was some kind of a soft drink. - Joe DiMaggio

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

The call of the yellow-billed cuckoo of North America is often mistaken for a bloodhound drinking a bowl of milk. He goes coulp coulp coulp. - Will Cuppy

A leader is not an administrator who loves to run others, but someone who carries water for his people, so that they can get on with their jobs. - Robert Townsend


see also   Farm  &  Political  Sections
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16-Sep-2019