The New Supermarket

Announcing new sites and smells in the produce department


The new supermarket near our house has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and witness the scent of fresh hay.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.

I don’t buy toilet paper there any more.




QuotaBills
Abstain from beans. - Pythagoras

The French: Germans with good food. - Fran Lebowitz

Laughter is brightest where food is best. - Irish Proverb

What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson

Queuing tips for fans: wrap up and bring food! - Niall Horan

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper. - Daphne Zuniga

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned. - WC Fields

My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. - Mike Myers

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out my nose. - Woody Allen

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. - James Beard

I'll be down in the front row with a basket of last month's eggs. - WC Fields

My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater

If everything is good in the henhouse yous don't have to go out for eggs. - Archie Bunker

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

I always thought that bagels and lox was my soul food, but it turns out it's sushi. - Sara Sheridan

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

A first-rate laboratory is one in which mediocre scientists can produce outstanding work. - Patrick M.S. Blackett

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again. - George Miller

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

My brother thinks he's a chicken.
We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs. - Groucho Marx

The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown

Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson

Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did. - P.J. O'Rourke

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking. - Unknown

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

Atomic energy might be as good as our present-day explosives, but it is unlikely to produce anything very much more dangerous. - Winston Churchill

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." - Unknown

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

The call of the yellow-billed cuckoo of North America is often mistaken for a bloodhound drinking a bowl of milk. He goes coulp coulp coulp. - Will Cuppy

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

Not every hen lay eggs. Not every hen that lays eggs gets them hatched. Not everyone born with greatness becomes as such. Go, hatch your eggs. - Israelmore Ayivor

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell


see also   Food  Section
Alternate Uses For Brand Name Products
Cutting Off Board
Duck Tomato
Italian Chef Memorial
Long Noodles
Mexican Jews
Nostril Growth
Reasons to Stop Dieting
Special Southernisms
Texas Chili Taster
The 1500s
Three Tomatoes
Tomato IV
Tomato Treat
Truly Tasteless Veggie

 

Ant Strength

Paper Scissors Cop

Safegun

Ultimate Spice Rack

Aging Cyclist

Yarn Bombing a Bus

Cell Phone Athlete

The Spacebar

Africa Car Security

Sand Faces

Train Boat

Water Rickshaw

That Way

Week Sales for the Weak

Hazardous Delivery

Nothing Can Compete With A Good Book

Camouflage Pro

Morning Paper

Diabetes Medication

India Plumbers
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21-Aug-2018