Sour Pharmacist

What doesn’t cure you ales you


Seamus went into a pharmacy in Dublin. He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a bottle of Irish whiskey and a teaspoon.

Seamus proceeded to pour some of the amber liquid into the teaspoon and offered it to the pharmacist.

“Could you taste this for me, please?” asked Seamus.

The pharmacist took the teaspoon into his mouth, swilled the liquid around and swallowed it.

“Does that taste sweet to you?”, says Seamus.

“No, not at all,” says the pharmacist.

“Oh, that’s a relief,” says Seamus. “Doctor Flannigan told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar.”




QuotaBills
Anatomy is destiny. - Sigmund Freud

The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

Laughter is the best medicine. - the Joe-kster

Logic is the anatomy of thought. - Albert Einstein

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain

Suicide doesn't end the pain. It just passes it on to someone else. - James Kirkup

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

Shared pain is lessened; shared joy, increased - thus do we refute entropy. - Spider Robinson

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you known it is healed. - Lyanla Vanzant

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - O.S. Marden

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain


see also   Medical  Section
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Costco Whiskey
Daniel’s Lotion
Fishing Trip With Jack
Found The Jackpot
Little Drinking Problem
One Beer A Day
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Whiskey Jig
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Acupuncture Face
Arkansas Cure For Terminal Illness
Bandage Art
Bed Friends
Brain Warmer
Breast Cancer Cure
Car Bandaid
Celebrity Swine Flu Fatality
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First Aid Responders
Flu Fashion
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I Can Still Kiss You
Important Health Information
Irish Flu Shots
Is Laughter The Best Medicine?
Magnetic Personality
Mandage
Mechanical Patient
Miss Beautiful Spine
Redneck Flu Shot
Restored Beauty
Self-Propelled Rocket
Stool Fool
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Swine Flew
Swine Flu Symptoms
Tampon Saves Marine’s Life
Teople Poo
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19-Jan-2019