Sour Pharmacist

What doesn’t cure you ales you


Seamus went into a pharmacy in Dublin. He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a bottle of Irish whiskey and a teaspoon.

Seamus proceeded to pour some of the amber liquid into the teaspoon and offered it to the pharmacist.

“Could you taste this for me, please?” asked Seamus.

The pharmacist took the teaspoon into his mouth, swilled the liquid around and swallowed it.

“Does that taste sweet to you?”, says Seamus.

“No, not at all,” says the pharmacist.

“Oh, that’s a relief,” says Seamus. “Doctor Flannigan told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar.”




QuotaBills
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

Champions expect pain, endure pain, and never complain. - Unknown

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

It is easy to stand a pain, but difficult to stand an itch. - Chang Ch'ao

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

Humor does not diminish the pain - it makes the space around it get bigger. - Allen Klein

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - O.S. Marden

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

Do something everyday that you don't want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain. - Mark Twain


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22-Sep-2019