Sour Pharmacist

What doesn’t cure you ales you


Seamus went into a pharmacy in Dublin. He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a bottle of Irish whiskey and a teaspoon.

Seamus proceeded to pour some of the amber liquid into the teaspoon and offered it to the pharmacist.

“Could you taste this for me, please?” asked Seamus.

The pharmacist took the teaspoon into his mouth, swilled the liquid around and swallowed it.

“Does that taste sweet to you?”, says Seamus.

“No, not at all,” says the pharmacist.

“Oh, that’s a relief,” says Seamus. “Doctor Flannigan told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar.”




QuotaBills
Anatomy is destiny. - Sigmund Freud

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

God is a concept by which we measure our pain. - John Lennon

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully. - Max Eastman

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

Champions expect pain, endure pain, and never complain. - Unknown

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain. - Bob Marley

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

You purchase pain with all that joy can give and die of nothing but a rage to live. - Alexander Pope

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. - Erma Bombeck

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler

Mysterious love, uncertain treasure, hast thou more of pain or pleasure! Endless torments dwell about thee: Yet who would live, and live without thee! - Joseph Addison


see also   Medical  Section
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Important Health Information
Irish Flu Shots
Is Laughter The Best Medicine?
Magnetic Personality
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Mechanical Patient
Miss Beautiful Spine
Redneck Flu Shot
Restored Beauty
Self-Propelled Rocket
Stool Fool
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24-May-2019