Sour Pharmacist

What doesn’t cure you ales you


Seamus went into a pharmacy in Dublin. He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a bottle of Irish whiskey and a teaspoon.

Seamus proceeded to pour some of the amber liquid into the teaspoon and offered it to the pharmacist.

“Could you taste this for me, please?” asked Seamus.

The pharmacist took the teaspoon into his mouth, swilled the liquid around and swallowed it.

“Does that taste sweet to you?”, says Seamus.

“No, not at all,” says the pharmacist.

“Oh, that’s a relief,” says Seamus. “Doctor Flannigan told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar.”




QuotaBills
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

Pain is temporary; quitting is forever. - Lance Armstrong

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. - Kenji Miyazawa

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

How much pain have cost us the evils that have never happened. - Thomas Jefferson

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. - Napoleon Bonaparte

One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea. - Walter Bagehot

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

The great art of life is sensation; to feel that we exist, even in pain. - Lord Byron

Humor does not diminish the pain - it makes the space around it get bigger. - Allen Klein

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee. - Phyllis Diller

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you known it is healed. - Lyanla Vanzant

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. - Erma Bombeck

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown


see also   Medical  Section
Bed Ridden and Proud Of It
Costco Whiskey
Daniel’s Lotion
Fishing Trip With Jack
Found The Jackpot
Little Drinking Problem
One Beer A Day
Smirnoff Women
Whiskey Around The World
Whiskey Jig
Whiskey Lurks Good
Whiskey Silly

Acupuncture Face
Arkansas Cure For Terminal Illness
Bandage Art
Bed Friends
Brain Warmer
Breast Cancer Cure
Car Bandaid
Celebrity Swine Flu Fatality
Chewing Gum Hazard
DentAid
Dr. Paul Dhillon - Sierra Leone Ebola Clinic
First Aid Responders
Flu Fashion
Dreaded Furniture Disease
Harley Half Ton
Help For Dead Children
Hygiene On The Farm
I Can Still Kiss You
Important Health Information
Irish Flu Shots
Is Laughter The Best Medicine?
Magnetic Personality
Mandage
Mechanical Patient
Miss Beautiful Spine
Redneck Flu Shot
Restored Beauty
Self-Propelled Rocket
Stool Fool
Suspicious Blood Donor
Swine Flew
Swine Flu Symptoms
Tampon Saves Marine’s Life
Teople Poo
Treadmill Workout
Twin Dish
Worst Aid
Zip Tie Prank

 

Coffee Morning

WrenchWare

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Social Media Explained

Pumping Services

Turn Into Lanes

Bull Squirrel

Sleep With Us

One Tough Lady!

Meep Meep

Just Thinking

Boneless Bananas

Fallen Heroes

Best Way To Honor The Fallen

Veterans Day Holiday

Life of Freedom and Peace

It's A Pittance Of Time

Patriot Blood

Juvenile Storage

Senior Wheelies
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12-Nov-2019