Great Crab Day

Fishing for a better relationship


The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers.

“We’re sorry, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your missing wife,” said one of the troopers.

“Tell me! Did you find her?” Wilkens asked with concern.

The troopers looked at each other and then one of them said, “We have some bad news, some good news and some really great news. Which would you like to hear first?”

Fearing the worst, Mr. Wilkens said, “Give me the bad news first.”

The trooper said, “I’m sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife’s body in Kachemak Bay.”

“Oh no!” exclaimed Wilkens.

Swallowing hard, he asked, “What’s the good news?”

The trooper continued, “When we pulled her up, she had 12 twenty-five-pound king crabs and 6 good-sized Dungeness crabs clinging to her and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch.”

Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, “If that’s the good news, then what’s the great news?”

The trooper replied, “We’re gonna pull her up again tomorrow.”


When Alaska State Troopers bring you good and bad news

QuotaBills
My wife gives good headache. - Rodney Dangerfield

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

I have laid aside business, and gone a'fishing. - Izaak Walton

Would a lion cheat on his wife? No, but a Tiger Would. - Unknown

No man should plant more garden than his wife can hoe. - Old Saying

Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Unknown

A man's home is his castle, and his wife is the janitor. - Lucille Kallen

The fun of fishing is catching 'em, not killing 'em. - Norman Schwarzkopf

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx

Behind every successful man is a woman.
Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out. - Rodney Dangerfield

I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip. - Groucho Marx

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis

Good fishing is just a matter of timing. You have to get there yesterday. - Milton Berle

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she's coming with me. - Jon Bon Jovi

The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him. - Oscar Wilde

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

When my wife asked me to start a garden the first thing I dug up was an excuse. - Henny Youngman

A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life. - Unknown

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with 28 years ago. - Will Rogers

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed. - Unknown

We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. - Groucho Marx

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw


see also   Fishing,  Marriage,  Police,  Relationship  &  Stress  Sections
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11-Nov-2019