My Father Is Gay (PG)

Little Johnny’s playoff hopes dashed

Little Johnny was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up - fireman, policeman, salesman, etc.

Little Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.

“My father’s an exotic dancer in a gay bar and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he’ll go out to the alley with some guy and make love with him for money.”

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some colouring, and took Little Johnny aside to ask him, “Is that really true about your father?”

“No,” said Little Johnny. “He plays for the Vancouver Canucks but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids.”


QuotaBills
Hire character. Train skill. - Peter Schutz

Every day is a great day for hockey. - Mario Lemieux

Character is perfectly educated will. - Novalis

To succeed in hockey, you need teamwork. - Henry Samueli

People on the streets are ready for hockey. - Eric Lindros

Assumptions are the termites of relationships. - Henry Winkler

Happiness is not the end of life; character is. - Henry Ward Beecher

Life always takes on the character of its motive. - J.G. Holland

Reputation is for time; character is for eternity. - J.B. Gough

The essential thing is not knowledge, but character. - Joseph Le Conte

When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite. - Winston Churchill

Do what you know and perception is converted into character. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is easy to be nice, even to an enemy - from lack of character. - Dag Hammarskjold

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

Talent is formed in solitude, character in the bustle of the world. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

It is of little traits that the greatest human character is composed. - William Winter

By 1946, I knew Detroit was the best hockey city in the Original Six. - Ted Lindsay

Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs. - Homer Simpson

Ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there. - John Wooden

I was always a character actor: I just looked like Little Red Riding Hood. - Paul Newman

Sometimes it just feels like the only thing you do is play hockey and eat. - Henrik Lundqvist

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain

As long as I can wear a wig I can be any character, and in real life I can be myself. - Ginnifer Goodwin

There is nothing in which people more betray their character than in what they laugh at. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Strength of character may be learned at work, but beauty of character is learned at home. - Henry Drummond

People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I'm not a hockey fan, which is probably why I had to leave Canada in the first place. - Ryan Reynolds

I never looked at hockey as work. Now that I'd finished playing, I had to go to work. - Bobby Orr

It requires less character to discover the faults of others than is does to tolerate them. - J. Petit Senn

Any disaster you can survive is an improvement in your character, your stature, and your life. - Joseph Campbell

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. - Malcolm S Forbes

Great acting is being able to create a character. Great character is being able to be yourself. - John Leguizamo

Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever. - Helen Rowland

The best rule of thumb for character is to remember that if you can't be big, don't belittle. - Unknown

The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out. - Thomas B Macaulay

The foundation stones for a balanced success are honesty, character, integrity, faith, love and loyalty. - Zig Ziglar

A man of character does not expect to be liked by everyone, nor does he worry about being liked by anyone. - Unknown

We can make fun of hockey fans, but someone who enjoys Homer is indulging the same kind of vicarious bloodlust. - Steven Pinker

I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick. - Sarah Palin


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24-Jun-2017