“No Time For Anesthetic” Golfer

Make sure the Dentist doesn’t slow down your golf game


A man and his wife walked into a Dentist’s office. The man said to the Dentist, “Doctor, I’m in a big hurry! I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf. So forget about the anesthetic and just pull the tooth and be done with it - I don’t have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!”

The Dentist thought to himself, “My goodness, this sure is a very brave man, asking me to pull his tooth without using anything to kill the pain.”

So the Dentist asked him, “Which tooth is it, sir?”

The man turned to his wife and said, “Open your mouth, Honey, and show the Doctor which tooth hurts.”


QuotaBills
Floss like a boss! - Unknown

Keep calm and floss on. - Unknown

I'm a golfer, not an athlete. - Lee Westwood

Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player

Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind. - Ogden Nash

Golf, like measles, should be caught young. - P G Wodehouse

The tongue is ever turning to the aching tooth. - Thomas Fuller

We break bones and we lose teeth. We play rugby. - Martin Johnson

Golf is an easy game, it's just hard to play. - Unknown

Love conquers all things - except poverty and toothache. - Mae West

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells

Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing. - Johnny Depp

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers

If it weren't for golf, I'd probably be a caddie today. - George Archer

Every tooth in a man's head is more valuable than a diamond. - Miguel de Cervantes

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth. - George D. Prentice

You realize just how bad a golfer you are when you play with Freddie. - Donald Trump

The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound. - George Bernard Shaw

Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours. - Homer Simpson

I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course? - Babe Ruth

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. - Joseph Heller

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

An aching tooth is better out than in.
To lose a rotting member is a gain. - Richard Baxter

The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentist's drill. - Leonard Woolf

For there was never yet a philosopher
That could endure the toothache patiently. - William Shakespeare

Adam and Eve had many advantages but the principal one was that they escaped teething. - Mark Twain

A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew. - Herb Caen

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain

Sometimes the game of golf is just too difficult to endure with a golf club in your hands. - Bobby Jones

One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course. - Unknown

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

A physician buries his mistakes, a dentist pulls them out, but a teacher has to live with them. - Unknown

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller

It is guaranteed to put all teeth on edge, including George Washington's, wherever they might be. - Vincent Canby

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope

Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl

Most men would rather have their bellies opened for five hundred dollars than have a tooth pulled for five. - Martin H. Fischer

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway

Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? - Frank Colby

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Tooth decay was a perennial problem that meant a mouthful of silver for patients, and for dentists a pocketful of gold. - Claudia Wallis

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden

I don't know him very well... I've played him at golf and beat him badly both times, and I think that probably had a negative impact on him. - Donald Trump


see also   Golf  Section
Beautiful Bride - “In-dentured” For Life
Dental Checkup
Dentist Talk
Denture Cup
Dental Plan - Latest Extraction Technology
False Teeth
Hillbilly Tooth Fairy
Hippo Toothbrush
Modern Dentistry - Painful but Fast!
Nice Teeth For All The Crap He Eats
Pastor’s New Teeth
Pet Dentist
Redneck Bird Dogs
Staff Teeth
Uplifting Tooth Extraction

 

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19-May-2019