joe-ks.com

Texas Three-Kick Rule
Y’all know how things are settled in Texas?

A big-city California lawyer went duck hunting in rural Texas. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, “I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.”

The old farmer replied, “This is my property, and you are not coming over here.”

The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. and, if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything you own.”

The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we do things in Texas. We settle small disagreements like this with the Texas Three-Kick Rule.”

The lawyer asked, “What is the Texas Three-Kick Rule?”

The Farmer replied, “Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up.”

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller.

His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly wiped the man’s nose off his face. The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer’s third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, “Okay, you old coot! Now, it’s my turn!”

The old farmer smiled and said, “No, I give up. You can have the duck!”


see also   Farm,  Hunting  &  Lawyer  Sections
Almost Everything’s Bigger in Texas
“BIG” Texas Rattlesnake
My Daughter & My Money
Negotiations Texas Style
Only In Texas
Redneck Porch Hunter
Room Service in a Texas Hotel
Shopping In Texas
Survivor - Texas Style (2013)
Texas Bakery
Texas Bank Security
Texas Car Wash
Texas Chili Taster
Texas Cow Cleaner
Texas Divorce
Texas Drought
Texas Farmer
Texas Flashlight
Texas Hunting Vehicle
Texas Limo
Texas Motorcycle Seat
Texas Outhouse Art
Texas Rain Gauge
Texas Rocking Chair
Texas Speed Camera
Texas Style Arrest
Texas Wildcat Dentist
Why We Live in Texas

Missing out on a great opportunity
Worst Action Photographer
I think the Deere is dead!
Train Hits Deer
Embracing people who come into our lives
Have Lunch With God - Bring Chips!
Little Johnny's stepping up in the world
Definition Of A Good Friend
Perfect wine bottle extender
Redneck Wine Glass
Happy Thanksgiving - let's talk turkey
'Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving
Big thaw in turkey sales predicted for holiday season
Turkey Weather Forecast
Will he make it past the plucking station?
Run, Turkey, Run
How to tell if you're celebrating a Redneck Thanksgiving
Redneck Thanksgiving
Remembering the horrors of Black November
Ode To A Turkey
Don't forget to set the degree to 375 ovens
How To Cook A Turkey
An alternative to turkey on Thanksgiving Day
Going Cold Turkey
New alert for Thanksgiving Turkey
Happy Thanksgiving, Y'all
Happy Thanksgiving Day, eh!
Turkey Wants You To Eat Pork!
Latest Word Search Puzzle: Words With One L
Word Search Puzzles
How animals celebrate Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving Harvest Time
Talented engineer flush with new ideas
No-Restroom-Break Scooter
Submissions by Henry ArchibaldFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site

27-Nov-2014

QR Code

G'Oldies

Florida Golf Hazard
Fast Escape
Pushmobile
Latte Art
Redneck RV
Hellmann's Mayonnaise
You Guys Make Me Sick
Suffer From Iron Poor B ...
Window Fall Repair
Balloon Clothing
Good Golfer
Gate Crasher - How NOT ...
Who Kut U Barber Salon
Church Humour
Cup of Mona Lisa
Bad Luck Kayaker - This ...
Golf Language
Cowboy Tombstone
'David and Goliath' Sum ...
Luxury Bungalows
Redneck Shower
Crocodile Floor
Open A Golf Course
Reach For The High-Hang ...
Acapulco Waterfront Pro ...
Twitter Feed
Baby Names - Denise and ...
Football's For Girls
2005 Chevrolet Vehicle ...
He Looks Just Like His ...
Franchises Available
Genuine Fake Watches
Game Car
Ford Door Lock
What Celtic Tree Did Yo ...
Donut Wisdom
How To Become A Star
Cookie Overdose
Zipper Scar Tattoo
Redneck Hot Shower
Frog Food
Spring Is In The Air
Tom Lee Music Franchise ...
Turbo Charged Computer
Sick Manager
Suicide Cat
Mom Posting
Migratory Bird Tags
Lego Church
Nighttime Graffiti
Redneck Bungee Jumping
Redneck ATV
British Generosity
Office Bike
Redneck Book of Manners
Redneck Letter - From M ...
Working For The Governm ...
Undertaker Bike
Flatulence Problem
Another Day At The Offi ...
Royal Family Heritage
2008 Cereal
Don't Think About Sendi ...
Bike Seat Colour
Google Marathon Maps
Horse Follower
Train Lantern