Texas Three-Kick Rule
Y’all know how things are settled in Texas?

A big-city California lawyer went duck hunting in rural Texas. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, “I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.”

The old farmer replied, “This is my property, and you are not coming over here.”

The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. and, if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything you own.”

The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we do things in Texas. We settle small disagreements like this with the Texas Three-Kick Rule.”

The lawyer asked, “What is the Texas Three-Kick Rule?”

The farmer replied, “Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up.”

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller.

His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly wiped the man’s nose off his face. The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer’s third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, “Okay, you old coot! Now, it’s my turn!”

The old farmer smiled and said, “No, I give up. You can have the duck!”

see also   Farm,  Hunting  &  Lawyer  Sections
Almost Everything’s Bigger in Texas
“BIG” Texas Rattlesnake
Distasteful Lawyer
Justice Is Blind
Legal Assistance For All
Legal Exhibit
My Daughter & My Money
Negotiations Texas Style
Only In Texas
Redneck Porch Hunter
Room Service in a Texas Hotel
Shopping In Texas
Survivor - Texas Style (2013)
Texas Bakery
Texas Bank Security
Texas Car Wash
Texas Chili Taster
Texas Cow Cleaner
Texas Divorce
Texas Drought
Texas Farmer
Texas Flashlight
Texas Hunting Vehicle
Texas Limo
Texas Motorcycle Seat
Texas Outhouse Art
Texas Rain Gauge
Texas Rocking Chair
Texas Speed Camera
Texas Style Arrest
Texas Wildcat Dentist
Why We Live in Texas

Latest Chess Sudoku Puzzle: #15327
Chess Sudoku Puzzles
How grandpa communicates with the baby
Mustache Soother
Finding a place on the roof for gun control
Gun Exhaust
Coffee creation from Sydney, Australia
Cup of Mona Lisa
Where shed baby teeth go after the pillow
Tooth Ferry
How to stand alone as a Grandmaster
Chess On The Wall
A watered-down Apple - water ya see is water ya get!
At least Google driverless cars stay on the road
Found The Apple Maps Car
Some salt licks are disguised as dogs
Speaking in Tongues for Animals
Why does everything always happen to me?
Baby's Off Day
Now Bubba can keep track of how many days 'til Christmas
Redneck Advent Calendar
Spam garburator - giving the boot to unsolicited mail
Mac Mailbox
Easing the stress of a hurt relationship
Falling In Love
Rider Fans are coming to Calgary
Grey Cup Fever
Trying to get out of style
Straightjacket Fashion
Looking for used snow removal equipment?
Snow Is Coming
Even the honeymoon suite is just Duck-e!
Hunter's Dream Wedding
Submissions by Henry ArchibaldFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site


QR Code


Umbrella Protection and ...
Leonardo da Vinci's Unf ...
Bumper Bike
Which Way Cupcakes
Umbrella Stand
Spotted Spotters
Moose Cheese
Garbage In or Garbage O ...
Cold Canada Winter
Video Teamwork
Making Music Together
Wet Wish
Brick Layers - Cast in ...
Stealth Birdhouse
Mennonnite Trivia
Batman Wannabes
House Extension
Shark Week in the Unite ...
Living With A Blonde
Wheelie Joe
Redneck Politician
Child's Motorcycle Helm ...
Big Game Hunting in Sas ...
Airless See-Through Tir ...
Short On Electricity
Learn Chinese In 5 Minu ...
'Let Us Pray' or 'Let U ...
Redneck Swamp Bike
Quad (Hyper) Sudoku
Been Lapped
Fortune Cookies - In Be ...
Daylight Savings Thing
Chutzpah Defined
Cat For Adoption - Wild ...
Underwater Home
Don't Be A Stick In The ...
Fireworks Wizard
Big Hairbrush
Language Converter
Engineer's Bra Design
Cat Sushi - 'I Have A D ...
40 Things Never Said By ...
Newfie Senior Scooter
Toasts and Introduction ...
Tree That's A Head Of I ...
Senior Wheelies
HHO Water Power
Friends In High Places
Hanging Around
Lean Two Friends
Toyota's New Lawn Mower
Deer Friends - Fawn of ...
Twitter Feed
Take My Advice
Hire Her
Prince William's Coat o ...
Diet Fork
Reach For The High-Hang ...
'Right Your Wrongs' Was ...
Painful Slam Dunk
Floor Refrigerator
Restroom Buttons
Spend Quality Time With ...
Never Do Anything Wrong
Genuine Fake Shoes
Dog Wallpaper
Marriage Barrier
Nursing Home Care
Does A Double Positive ...