joe-ks.com

Texas Three-Kick Rule
Y’all know how things are settled in Texas?

A big-city California lawyer went duck hunting in rural Texas. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, “I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.”

The old farmer replied, “This is my property, and you are not coming over here.”

The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. and, if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything you own.”

The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we do things in Texas. We settle small disagreements like this with the Texas Three-Kick Rule.”

The lawyer asked, “What is the Texas Three-Kick Rule?”

The Farmer replied, “Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up.”

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller.

His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly wiped the man’s nose off his face. The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer’s third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, “Okay, you old coot! Now, it’s my turn!”

The old farmer smiled and said, “No, I give up. You can have the duck!”


see also   Farm,  Hunting  &  Lawyer  Sections
Almost Everything’s Bigger in Texas
“BIG” Texas Rattlesnake
My Daughter & My Money
Negotiations Texas Style
Only In Texas
Redneck Porch Hunter
Room Service in a Texas Hotel
Shopping In Texas
Survivor - Texas Style (2013)
Texas Bakery
Texas Bank Security
Texas Car Wash
Texas Chili Taster
Texas Cow Cleaner
Texas Divorce
Texas Drought
Texas Farmer
Texas Flashlight
Texas Hunting Vehicle
Texas Limo
Texas Motorcycle Seat
Texas Outhouse Art
Texas Rain Gauge
Texas Rocking Chair
Texas Speed Camera
Texas Style Arrest
Texas Wildcat Dentist
Why We Live in Texas

Everyday Exotic in the Middle East
Saudi Exotic Cuisine
Ever had to make ends meet while you stretch for your next meal?
Heavy Meal Deal
Coping with job stress
Chair Spin Day
Some playground equipment didn't pass safety inspection
Playground Mistakes
How I ground my kids
You Are Grounded
Standoff at the African watering hole
Serengeti Tug of War
Putting the 'air' in Jethro's aerodynamic bike
Turbo Bike
Why be too tired when you can be three tired?
Tire Trike
Latest Word Search Puzzle: Words With One H
Word Search Puzzles
Premium emergency assistance for English golfers
Ambulance Caddy
Imodium Podium: why some athletes didn't make it to the podium
Fast Food in Beijing
It'll fit if I turn it sideways, right?
Side-Ways
They thought he would never get off the island...
Table Boat
Finding the limits of a Redneck yard security system
Property Boundary
Canadian RCMP patrol all moose crossings
Moose Police
Figures of Speech for a comedian
Paraprosdokian-isms
The fine art of spoiling photographs
Baseball Photobomb
Submissions by Henry ArchibaldFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site

30-Jul-2014

QR Code

G'Oldies

Life's Reflections
House Appraisal
Hot New Game - This Fir ...
Iraqi Passport Photos
Handicap Porch
Celebrity Swine Flu Fat ...
Thirsty Snake
Tulip Fields of Holland
How You Can Be Happy @ ...
Gas Right Posterior Str ...
Cool Gardening Pictures
Bungee Mouse - Meal On ...
Baked Beans - Nature's ...
Odori-Don Dance
Redneck Vasectomy
You Want Me To Do What?
Nemo Found @ Japanese S ...
South African Handshake
Head Loose Socket
'USB Device Not Recogni ...
Mid Room Mirror
South Africa Airlines - ...
Fake Carolina Drawl
Sink Drinker
Cancel Our Date
Eyekon Camera
Energy Saver
Achieving More At Work
Dollar Drop
Designer Dog
Stealth Cat
Good Luck Angel
Video Teamwork
Five Pound Note
Photo Op
No Service
Redneck Flat Screen TV
How Did They Get There?
Peregrine Falcon
Dog Obedience Training
Itchy Nose
Rembrandt's Anatomy Les ...
GM Volt
Chinese Proverbs
The Meaning of Golf
Patriotic Microchip
StripTeas
Serious Pipe Smoker
CCR Misheard Lyrics
How To Reduce Complaint ...
Not Bubba's Dog
Wired Moose
Swingset Car
Wong Thong
Water Transformer Hazar ...
Thongthing Special
Bank Deposit
Bath Laugh
Bank Deposit
Snowbound Train
Habs vs ReHabs
Beach Foreclosure
Piano Dog
Chair Boy
Diesel Fitter
Real Iron Man Competiti ...
What Are Friends For?