Texas Three-Kick Rule
Y’all know how things are settled in Texas?

A big-city California lawyer went duck hunting in rural Texas. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, “I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.”

The old farmer replied, “This is my property, and you are not coming over here.”

The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. and, if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything you own.”

The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we do things in Texas. We settle small disagreements like this with the Texas Three-Kick Rule.”

The lawyer asked, “What is the Texas Three-Kick Rule?”

The Farmer replied, “Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up.”

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller.

His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly wiped the man’s nose off his face. The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer’s third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, “Okay, you old coot! Now, it’s my turn!”

The old farmer smiled and said, “No, I give up. You can have the duck!”

see also   Farm,  Hunting  &  Lawyer  Sections
Almost Everything’s Bigger in Texas
“BIG” Texas Rattlesnake
My Daughter & My Money
Negotiations Texas Style
Only In Texas
Redneck Porch Hunter
Room Service in a Texas Hotel
Shopping In Texas
Survivor - Texas Style (2013)
Texas Bakery
Texas Bank Security
Texas Car Wash
Texas Chili Taster
Texas Cow Cleaner
Texas Divorce
Texas Drought
Texas Farmer
Texas Flashlight
Texas Hunting Vehicle
Texas Limo
Texas Motorcycle Seat
Texas Outhouse Art
Texas Rain Gauge
Texas Rocking Chair
Texas Speed Camera
Texas Style Arrest
Texas Wildcat Dentist
Why We Live in Texas

Shoes for big crews
XL Safety Shoes
Home for the Holidays
Christmas House
Christmas tree for Chemistry teachers
Hairstyle art for almost-bald men
Christmas Haircut
Signal strength measured in Cavemen Lost/Day
World's First Wireless Communications System
Getting past the cookbook stage
Bachelor Cooking
Have you been naughty this year?
Save Santa The Trip
Renaming the Washington Redskins
Washing Redskins
Now On Sale for those who give a hoot!
2015 Hooters Owl Calendars (TWO)
What an awesome idea!
See-Thru Windows
How business influences Christmas shoppers
Christmas Lease
When you can Haviture Way
Burger King Street
Tapping into your imagination
Plumber's Night Light
A geek can never get enough toys
Christmas Shopping For Geeks
Bubba's nativity scene includes a tar from a far
Redneck Tire Tree Lights
Changing preference for travel in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania
Amish Segway
Harley digs his new girlfriend
Digging Up A Date
Submissions by Henry ArchibaldFacebookTwitterDiggStumbleUponDelicious

Voted #1 Humor Site


QR Code


Office Bike
Van Go
Aussie Toilet Paper
Piggy Back, Back Flip
Unger Games
Scottish Choices
Rottweiler Express
Police Dogs in Alabama
Hot New Game - This Fir ...
B.C. - Bathroom Commode ...
After-Gas Piggy Bank
Case of the Pregnant La ...
Snail Trail
Prayer Request for Bob
How To End Unemployment
A Good Sermon - On Aver ...
Camel Pumps
Financial Assistance Fo ...
Insults With Class
Whooooo Goes There?
Every Cat Should Own A ...
New Element in the Peri ...
Redneck Bungee Jumping
Redneck Time Out
Explain This To Your Bo ...
Guitar Farm
Pirate Patch
Dog Download
Bike Locked Down Secure ...
Chia Car
Spot the Man's Head Hid ...
Truck Lift Repair
Every Man's Philosophy
Watch Out For Deer!
Texting Abbreviations f ...
Superb Owl
Snowball Dogs
The Very First King Siz ...
Stalin Stamps
Dog Birthday
Waterfall Drinkers
Painful Banana Split
Pond Management
Baby Sitting Animals
Economy Flight Plan
Female Attraction
How Twins Are Made
Beach Bash
Biker Faucet
Halloween Flashers
I Want My Own Room
'Outside The Box' Juggl ...
Desperate Canucks
Advantages of Mother's ...
Stretch Line
Florida Squirrel
Frog Waltz
New Speed Trap
Married Man's Harley
Canucks 2013 Playoff Lo ...
Insect Wine Glass
Warm Nap
Tired Backhoe