The Stress Diet

Coping with constant stress


This diet is designed to help you cope with constant stress ...

BREAKFAST
1/2 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast, dry
8 oz skimmed milk

LUNCH
4 oz lean broiled chicken breast
1 cup steamed spinach
1 cup herb tea
1 Oreo cookie

MID AFTERNOON SNACK
rest of the Oreos in the package
2 pints of rocky road ice cream
1 jar hot fudge sauce
nuts, cherries, whipped cream

DINNER
2 loaves garlic bread with cheese
large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza
3 milky way candy bars

LATE EVENING SNACK
Entire frozen cheesecake, eaten directly from freezer

RULES FOR THIS DIET
1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories;
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda;
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you don’t eat more than they do;
4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as brandy, hot chocolate and Sara Lee cheesecake;
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner;
6. Movie related foods (Milk Duds, Buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one’s personal fuel;
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories - the process of breaking causes calorie leakage;
8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are: peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae;
9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: Spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color;
10. Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies and popsicles.




QuotaBills
A fat purse never lacks friends. - Unknown

Laughter is by definition healthy. - Doris Lessing

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

My weight is perfect for my height - which varies. - Unknown

Why y'all duded up lookin' like Errol Slim? - Archie Bunker

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable. - Jackie Gleason

A fit, healthy body - that is the best fashion statement. - Jess C. Scott

Love is, or it ain't. Thin love ain't love at all. - Toni Morrison

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

Stress is an important dragon to slay - or at least tame - in your life. - Marilu Henner

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

Fitness needs to be perceived as fun and games or we subconsciously avoid it. - Alan Thicke

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

The two kinds of people on earth are the people who lift and the people who lean. - Unknown

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

To live is like to love - all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it. - Samuel Butler

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

I believe that how you feel is very important to how you look - that healthy equals beautiful. - Victoria Principal

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. - William Shakespeare

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. - Bob Thaves

Confidence is beautiful, no matter your size, no matter your weight. Be confident in who you are and you'll be beautiful. - Unknown

Desire is the key to motivation. It is the key to develop a healthy personality and a positive attitude towards oneself and others. - Amit Abraham

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

Maintaining healthy forests is essential to those who make a living from the land and for those of us who use them for recreational purposes. - Cathy M. Rodgers


see also   Food  Section
A Balanced Diet
Balanced Diet
Balanced Food Delivery
Balanced Meal
Beauty Bag
Bus Wait Weight
Coffee Spoon
Diet Fork
Diet Hard
Diet Pills
Diet Silverware
Diet Spoon
Diet Utensils
Donut Sale
Gin & Tonic Diet
Important Health Information
Jogger’s Weight Scale
Learn To Cook
Milkshake Diet
My New Diet
Obesity Is OK
Reasons to Stop Dieting
Squeegee Clothing
Texas Diet
Vodka Diet
Weight Watchers Bus

 

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16-Jul-2019